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When was the last time you negotiated? Was it when you started a new job or got a promotion? Or was it more recent than that – perhaps in an email or at a meeting? When you stop to think about it, we’re always negotiating.
Negotiation is most often thought of in terms of big, one time events like contracts, compensation, or benefits, but in reality, we negotiate every single day. These smaller, everyday negotiations serve as great practice for when something bigger comes up. Negotiations of all sizes use the same skills and tactics. The difference between them is that everyday negotiations happen without fanfare, while we tend to put more pressure on ourselves for the big ones.
A negotiation, simply put, is a compromise. Two or more parties come together, have a discussion, and reach an outcome that addresses the needs of everyone involved. Sounds much less threatening when it’s put like that, doesn’t it?
Think of a typical situation you encounter at work such as contributing to a project or participating in a meeting. Let’s say that you shared an idea with your team. Did everyone instantly agree with you? Or did you talk about it and get other people’s input to reach a final outcome? That’s a prime example of an everyday negotiation, and you probably did it automatically.
With big negotiations the stakes are higher, but you’re still using the same skills to state your case and influence the outcome as you did when you pitched an idea to your team. The difference is that you usually have more time for research and planning. What it boils down to is knowing the outcome you want to achieve and having a plan to accomplish that.
While there are many factors at play in negotiation, two of them have the greatest impact – preparation and communication. Balancing the two will set you up for success. When you head into a negotiation knowing that you’re prepared, you’re able to communicate more freely and with greater impact.
Preparation is critical to a successful negotiation.
When you’re prepared, you’re able to state your case more clearly and concisely. Being well prepared leads to better outcomes and smoother discussions. Do your homework beforehand and explore all possibilities so that you’re prepared for whatever comes your way. Look at the situation from another perspective and think of questions that might come up.
Know what you want to achieve, but also prepare to not get everything. You need to have a viable second (and sometimes third) option. Identify your non-negotiables as well as what you’re willing to compromise. Start by pinpointing the high level outcome and explore the factors that contribute to and impact it. Be ready to think on your feet and adapt your strategy as needed.
Most importantly, avoid the trap of assumptions. You don’t know what the other party is thinking unless you ask them. An assumption is nothing more than an educated guess and can derail an otherwise successful negotiation.
Communication is much more than simply talking.
Negotiation is a two way street, a give and take scenario. The most successful negotiations are conversations, not arguments. Keep that in mind to make sure that you’re both speaking and listening. Taking the time to listen helps you maintain your composure and prevent emotions from taking over.
Nonverbal communication has just as much influence as the words you speak. You’ll want to pay attention to nonverbal cues from yourself and others. Body language can tell you if a person is interested, defensive, unengaged, and more. Use this awareness to your advantage to adjust your tone and language to help the negotiation proceed.
Consider the way you emphasize your point of view when you speak. Ask open ended questions to prompt discussion. Frame statements in a way that acknowledges the other person’s point of view and emphasizes how it could benefit them. Avoid negative statements such as, ‘you might not agree, but…’, as this sets up the other person to be contradictory.
Negotiation isn’t always easy, but it does become less intimidating when you realize just how often you do it. Use everyday negotiations to practice quick thinking and decision making and get comfortable with a back-and-forth style of dialogue. Think of all the times you’ve successfully negotiated, and you’ll have the confidence to tackle your next big negotiation with ease.
