Big Brother recap: Only One Brain

Category Four, Freakazoids, Big Sister, Team Unicorn, Spy Girls, Eight Pack. So many teams, so many alliances. Who can keep track? Not Jozea. No point. Doesn’t need to. Jozea is in charge. Jozea runs this house. Jozea is the house. Jozea is all, all is Jozea. “Who rules the majority?” Jozea asks Jozea. “Me,” responds Jozea.

Nothing gets past Jozea. How could it? There is nothing besides Jozea; there is no thing but Jozea. As the house recovers from the shock of the Roadkill nominee – Paul! – Jozea isn’t recovering; he feels no shock. “It was Michelle,” he says, no doubt in his mind. “Definitely Michelle,” he repeats. “Michelle nominated Paul,” he insists, to a room full of people who know all too well that Michelle didn’t nominate Paul. “Don’t make a bold move if you can’t handle the pressure,” says Jozea, to a room full of people who are making a bold move and feel no pressure from it.

There’s a specal place in the dark shadows of Big Brother history for the supernova personalities. They shine too bright, too early. Maybe they implode, banished into the shadowlands outside the jury house, never to be heard from again. Maybe they explode, take somebody down with them, and make just enough of an impression to get a Big Brother producer considering them for a return trip. (See: Da’Vonne, turning a few weeks in Big Brother 17 into a starring role in Big Brother 18.)

Jozea is exploding, all right, but not in the way he might like to be. At the Veto competition, Paul the Beard wins, removing himself from the block. For some reason, this convinces Jozea of the rightness of his crusade. He’s still in danger — but he’s already taking a victory lap. Here, now, is just a sample of Jozea’s greatest lines from what looks like his last ride:

“I’m an observer.”

“I’m CEO, in my mind.”

“I feel like I’m the Messiah.”

“We are all sisters and brothers.”

“I’m preaching like Obama.”

“I’m only one brain.”

“SCENARIOS!”

All so true. Witness, my brethren: He is the Messiah CEO Obama, the one-brained scenario observer, brother to all, preacher of truth.

WANT MORE? Keep up with all the latest from last night’s television by subscribing to our newsletter. Head here for more details.

Does he have a chance? Can he survive this week? No, you think, impossible. He declares war on the returning players, and then considers welcoming Frank into his alliance. He calls a very public “private” house meeting — attended by James, who secretly spies on the meeting by walking in and asking “Hey, what’s this meeting about?” The point of the meeting is to declare war on Paulie — a fact everyone knows, even Paulie — but when Paulie challenges Jozea about it, the Messiah CEO clams up, promising the only thing discussed was peace and love.

No way Jozea can survive this week. Right? Well… there’s a shot.

NEXT: The Spy Girl Who Came in From the Cold

Bridgette seems like a sweet person who has thus far done nothing to anger anyone. Naturally, she managed to make an enemy out of half the house in the span of about 24 hours. The trouble started early, when her lighthearted banter with Paulie at the kitchen sink led Paul into a paranoiac fit. “She’s putting her team ahead of her group,” said Paul. “That’s not okay.” He doesn’t trust her: Doesn’t trust her trustworthy smile, her trustworthy eyes, that trustworthy way she has of being trusting.

When Jozea calls his big, top-secret, wildly public house meeting, the Spy Girls hatch a plan. While Bronte heads to Jozea’s meeting, Bridgette heads upstairs. Bronte’s got a plan. She’s a mathematician. She can count. So she strolls into the Have-Not room and listens to Jozea, and when Jozea asks her “Where’s Bridgette?” Bronte mathematically declares “She’s upstairs listening!”

CUT TO: Da’Vonne, Zakiyah, and James, ears all perking up at once. Listening? Spying? Not really, actually: Upstairs, Bridgette inflitrates the HOH throne room with all the subtlety of the Looney Tunes Big Red Monster sneaking up on Bugs Bunny. But the damage is done. Bridgette is marked.

At the worst possible moment, too. Frank has a decision to make. The Roadkill winner doesn’t have too many people to choose from when it comes to nominating Paul’s replacement. Bridgette’s an easy pick: A pawn from the other side. Or is she just a pawn? How much more can Jozea poison the waters in the days before the eviction? Can he make himself so toxic that it makes sense to keep him in the house — whereas kicking out Bridgette, an unknown quantity representing some unknown espionage crew, becomes the more immediate threat resolved?

Probably not. Jozea: We hardly knew ye.