How to Support a Child with Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder, also called manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder. It causes unusual changes in mood, energy, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.[1] It usually starts to affect people in their late teens or as early adults. However, some people can be diagnosed as early as the age of six.[2] Helping and raising a child with bipolar disorder may involve some unique challenges since children with bipolar disorder are not like adults with bipolar. They often misconstrue comments, actions, and intentions of others because of their mood swings. You may struggle to approach your child with bipolar disorder, but there are ways you may help your child and achieve a calm, settled approach towards them. You can achieve this with plenty of support, professional help, and patience.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Helping Your Child Cope

  1. Step 1 Accept your child's limits.
    A person with bipolar disorder cannot control their mood. Your child may have waves of mood swings. If they're experiencing a manic episode or depressive episode, they can't control themselves and snap out of it. The ups and downs can last for weeks at a time. A child can find it difficult to cope with this. Because of the BD, your child may display different limits compared to other children. The best way to deal with this is to accept it.[3]
    • Avoid trying to reason with your child. Don't tell them things like, "Stop acting crazy," or, "Look on the bright side".
    • Validate your child's feelings and accept how they feel. Tell them, "Your feelings are valid. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel."
  2. Step 2 Try reducing stress
    . Everyone experiences stress from time to time. However, increased stress can make bipolar disorder worse for your child. This stress may occur at home or school. Even though you can't get rid of all the stress for your child, try to take steps to prevent added stress, such as working with them to properly manage their time.[4]
    • Ask your child how you can help if they feel stressed out about something, and try to help them the best you can. Say, "I know stress upsets you. What can I do to help you manage your stress?" If your child is not old enough to understand this, you can keep a behavior journal to try to track various triggers or circumstances that lead to them getting stressed.
    • When you learn your child's limits, pay attention to them. Avoid pushing your child to their limits unnecessarily.
    • For example, if your child gets overwhelmed by a certain chore, give them a different chore; however, don't just eliminate all the chores. You still want to make sure to teach your child responsibility, but your child just may not be able to do as much or certain things.
    • If your child feels stressed by school, you can try talking to the teacher. For example, if too much homework stresses your child, try to talk to their teacher to see if they can lessen the amount.
  3. Step 3 Set up a routine.
    Consider creating a routine for your child to reduce stress in their life. Routine will help your child get used to responsibilities and know what to expect so that they don't get overwhelmed. Chaos and instability may make their bipolar disorder worse. An established routine can help your child avoid stress and cope with daily life. Doing the same thing at the same time every day gives them a sense of security in knowing what comes next.[5] [6]
    • The routine should include when your child wakes up, mealtimes, study/homework time, chores, playtime, and when they go to bed.
    • Most children with bipolar disorder function best in a structured routine. Many also have short attention spans. Be patient and ready to move on to another activity when they are.
  4. Step 4 Communicate honestly and openly with your child.
    Always try your best to validate your child's feelings and truly listen to how they're feeling. When your child tries to talk to you about something, give them all your attention. Really listen to what they have to say, even if you don't understand how they feel. Communication is key to help your child with bipolar disorder.[7]
    • If your child approaches you, turn off all electronic devices and focus on them. Tell them, "I am listening to you." You may want to repeat some of the things they say, ask questions, or respond to let them know you are listening to them.
    • If your child doesn't talk to you, try to open the lines of communication. Tell them, "I know that your bipolar disorder may be confusing or overwhelming at times. You may not know how to talk about it. I am here to listen without judgment to whatever you are feeling." You may want to try a prompt, such as, "Give me two feeling words for how you're doing right now."
    • When you notice your child is not in the best mood, be honest about it and ask how they're feeling in a loving manner. You may say, "How are you feeling today? You seem a little upset." Or, "It's okay that your mood has shifted. I'm here for you and will listen to you."
  5. Step 5 Offer plenty of emotional support.
    When your child is having a rough time, your words play a big role on how they'll react. Avoid covering up their feelings and acting like their feelings are easy to cope with. This will end up making them feel worse, as if they're emotions really don't matter.[8]
    • Be aware of saying statements, such as "It's not so bad;" "Be positive;" "You're over-reacting. It's not that bad;" or "It's okay. Be tough."
    • Instead, validate their feelings and show that you do care. Say things like, "You're not alone. I'm right here for you," or, "I may not be able to understand how you exactly feel, but I'm always here to listen and help you." You can also say, "You are very important to me and your life matters a lot to me," and, "I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the way you feel will change."
  6. Step 6 Support your child.
    Your child may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty for having bipolar disorder, especially if they're the only one in the family who has this disorder. Support your child and tell them that it's okay and that having bipolar disorder is not their fault. If your child continually says that they're a hassle to deal with, firmly tell them that's not true and that you're always there for them, even if you don't know exactly how they feel.[9]
    • You can talk to them about various famous people who struggled with bipolar disorder in order to normalize their situation. Examples include Carrie Fisher, Demi Lovato, Vincent van Gogh, and Virginia Woolf.
    • Tell your child, "You are not to blame for your disorder. You didn't cause it, and there are things we can do to help you feel better." You can also say, "It's not your fault that you have bipolar disorder; that's how you are and there are treatments that can help you." Or try, "You shouldn't feel guilty about your disorder. There are ways to feel better."
  7. Step 7 Talk to your child's school personnel.
    Your child may need special allowances when they go to school so that their needs are met. Your child may need to take breaks during classes, be assigned less homework during difficult times, delay important instruction until they feel alert, and reduce some assignments, projects, or tests. Start by discussing your child's condition with their teacher.[10]
    • Consider forming an Individualized Education Program, or IEP, to help your child cope and deal with school without feeling stressed. To set up an IEP, start by talking to the school. Guidance counselors can help get you started.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Helping Your Child With Treatment

  1. Step 1 Learn more about bipolar disorder.
    When your child has bipolar disorder, you should learn everything you can about the disorder. Finding and researching more about your child's disorder will help both you and your child cope with their disorder.
    • Start by reading books, listening to audio recordings, researching on the Internet, and visiting bipolar disorder support communities or online forums.
    • You may also want to talk to teachers who teach children with bipolar disorder, or consult professionals, therapists, your child's doctor, and other parents of children with bipolar disorder.
  2. Step 2 Provide your child with professional help.
    Your child needs to be seen by a professional in order to feel better. Find qualified doctors and therapists in your area to help your child learn how to live a full life with bipolar disorder.[11]
    • Inform the doctor and therapist clearly about the way your child acts. Explain in as much detail as possible how they behave during various points of the day, what they say, and how it affects them.
    • A doctor and therapist will provide techniques, methods, and medication to help your child feel better and less inclined to a manic or depressive episode.
    • Talk with your child about how these appointments are designed to keep them healthy, and are not because something is wrong or because they are in trouble.
    • Set up all necessary appointments and attend them regularly and on time.
  3. Step 3 Monitor your child daily.
    Keep a notebook to write down and track how your child feels throughout each day. Monitoring your child's behavior is a great way to present your child's actions to their doctor and therapist so they can keep track and notice a routine or cycle of the mood swings from your child.[12]
    • When your child behaves oddly or has an episode, record it. Write down the details and make sure to include the time, date, and what may have triggered it.
    • If they have an episode at school, ask them to tell you as much about it as possible. You can also check with their teacher and see if they can provide you with more information.
  4. Step 4 Learn about your child's medication.
    Your child will most likely be given medication by a doctor to help them feel calm, relaxed, and less inclined to an episode. Research the medication and ask the doctor questions about any side effects so you will know what to expect.[13]
    • You should also ask your doctor about any warning signs of negative reactions to the medication.
    • When your child first starts the medication, make sure to monitor them closely for the first few days to ensure the medication doesn't have an adverse effect.
  5. Step 5 Track your child's treatment progress.
    Keep a notebook to track and monitor how your child is doing with their treatment. This is especially important if your child is taking medication since some medications can result in side effects. While some treatments may help your child significantly, other types of treatment may make your child feel even worse.[14]
    • Pay attention to signs of relapse. Always keep track of these signs by mentioning the time, date, and what seems to be triggering your child.
    • You can track the treatment in the same notebook you use to monitor your child's moods.
  6. Step 6 Alert your child's doctor and therapist if problems occur.
    If you notice something is wrong with your child or notice a change, tell your child's doctor and therapist right away. Contact them when signs of a relapse start — do not wait until a full-blown episode occurs. Don't stay quiet if you notice a problem; state it at once and find out what's going on.[15]
    • Some treatment may cause your child to feel great, but later on cause them to feel worse or even suicidal.
  7. Step 7 Encourage your child to take medication.
    Tell your child firmly but gently that taking their medication is important so they can feel better. Tell them about the positive side effects of taking it so they know that they will get from it.[16]
    • If your child constantly tries to avoid taking their medication, talk to their doctor or therapist about it.
  8. Step 8 Follow the medication schedule.
    Set a medication schedule up so your child will know and recognize when it's time to take their medication. It may help to set timers or alarms to remind your child as well.[17]
    • If your child needs to take their medication at school, talk to their teacher or school nurse about how they can take while they're there. Some schools do not allow children to take medication by themselves.
    • When your child reaches adolescence, talk with them about being responsible for taking their medication on their own. You want to show them how to refill prescriptions and make doctors appointments before refills expire. They should have several years of practice before they become adults and move away.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Helping Your Child During an Episode

  1. Step 1 Identify the signs of a manic episode.
    A manic episode is a mood state in which your child's mood is expanded. They may demonstrate an extraordinary amount of optimism and a sudden rush of energy. Symptoms include:[18]
    • Elevated self-esteem
    • Decreased need for sleep (for example, your child could sleep for three hours and feel well-rested)
    • Increased interest in activities, hobbies, and/or goals
    • Rapid speech and speaking nonstop
    • Racing thoughts
    • Attention loss
    • Reckless behavior
  2. Step 2 Recognize the signs of a depressive episode.
    A depressive episode is the opposite of a manic one. This episode usually includes sadness and gloomy emotions and behavior. Symptoms include:[19]
    • Sleeping too much or feeling tired a lot
    • Losing interest in hobbies, activities, and/or goals
    • Feeling negative and low
    • Withdrawing from friends
    • Lack of energy
    • Trouble focusing
    • Changes in appetite, like eating too much or too little
  3. Step 3 Avoid taking bipolar disorder comments personally.
    When your child is in an episode, they may say many hurtful things towards you or others. They may think negatively about you and verbalize those thoughts. Don't take this to heart. Understand that your child is having a hard time due to the episode.[20]
    • Your child may be quite aggressive, violent, cruel, and reckless. They may lack judgment skills and be harsh.
    • Talk to your spouse or a friend or family member for support. You may also consider seeing a therapist yourself to help you cope. It is important to practice self-care so that you can care for your child.
  4. Step 4 Be prepared for destructive behaviors.
    When experiencing an episode, your child may become violent or aggressive. They may harm themselves or others. Form a plan before your child has an episode so you'll know to react when your child behaves this way. Talk to your child's doctor or therapist about how to act when your child behaves in a destructive manner.[21] Some examples:
    • For example, if your child starts banging their head against the wall, you might place pillows beneath them. If they start to become violent towards someone else, you might bring them into a quiet room so they can calm down. If your child starts to scratch themselves purposely, you might bring them putty to help them relax and calm down.
  5. Step 5 Offer support to your child.
    Be with your child during the episode and spend time with them as much as possible. Try keeping them in a quiet room that is away from others. A lot of activity and stimulation can stress them out even more.[22]
    • If your child has questions about a certain situation, answer honestly, but avoid arguing and causing a debate. Explain what is happening to them in words that are appropriate for their specific age level.
    • Prepare food that your child can eat easily. When your child's energy is high or low, it can be hard to sit down and eat a full meal. Offer easy meals, such as carrot sticks, crackers with cheese, celery with a dip, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Provide plenty of liquid as well, such as water or fruit juice.
    • Allow your child to rest and take naps during the day, especially if they are in a manic episode.
  6. Step 6 Create a crisis plan.
    Create a crisis plan for your child ahead of time in case your child experiences a crisis. You may want to create one with their doctor or therapist and share it with other family members or teachers at school.
    • The crisis plan should outline the actions a caregiver should follow should your child experience a crisis situation in which they may harm themselves or someone else.
    • Provide a set of numbers to call when a crisis happens and list the address of a local hospital.
  7. Step 7 Take suicide threats seriously.
    If your child mentions they want to hurt, harm, or kill themselves, take this seriously. Do not think they are saying this to get your attention. Take all weapons and dangerous chemicals out of your child's sight and get help right away if your child threatens suicide. Do not leave your child alone.
    • If your child starts to become suicidal and extremely violent, call 911 or your country's emergency service number.
    • You can also contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you're in the United States by calling or texting 988.
    • Understand you don't have to handle your child alone and that help is necessary. While you wait for the ambulance to arrive, stay with your child and do not leave them unattended.
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Taking Care of Yourself

  1. Step 1 Take care of your own needs.
    Your child plays a big role in your life and takes up a lot of your time. While helping your child is important, don't forget about yourself. Continue to participate in activities and hobbies you love and enjoy.[23]
    • Don't give up gatherings, traveling plans, friendships, goals, and interests because of your child.
  2. Step 2 Find a support system.
    Helping and raising a child with bipolar disorder can be a challenge, and it can also be mentally draining. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you feel. Ask for help when you need it from friends and family members.
    • Consider meeting parents with children who have bipolar disorder as well to get the emotional support and courage you need. You may want to seek out a support group for the loved ones of those with bipolar disorder in your area.
    • Talk to a counselor or therapist if you need. They can help you learn to deal with your emotions while taking care of your child and yourself.
  3. Step 3 Set boundaries...
    Set boundaries. Understand that setting a few boundaries for yourself is okay.[24] Remember, you need to take care of yourself, too. Taking care of yourself allows you to better care for your child. Decide where your personal limits are and what activities or actions will need boundaries.[25]
    • For example, think about how much time you're with your child everyday. Create boundaries for how long you should spend time with your child without feeling overwhelmed and distressed. Allow another trusted adult to watch over your child when you need a break.
    • You will likely need boundaries with other people, as well, to reduce your overall level of stress.
  4. Step 4 Manage stress...
    Manage stress in your life. Having a child with bipolar disorder can be very difficult. Managing stress helps keep you healthy emotionally and physically. Reduce all unnecessary stress from your life.[26]
    • Consider cutting a few appointments or activities if they're not needed and make you feel tired and exhausted.
    • Remember to exercise daily, eat healthy meals, and get enough sleep at night, as these things can all influence your stress levels.
    • Consider incorporating stress relieving activities, like deep breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation.
  5. Step 5 Consider family therapy.
    Having a bipolar family member can be challenging for those who live in the same household as your child. Family therapy can help with any family issues and provide you with assistance. It can also help teach your family members how to have a more successful and healthy relationship with your child.[27]
    • If your child has siblings, they may be scared to approach their sibling or may feel jealous since you give a lot of your attention on the child with bipolar disorder.
    • If you are married or in a relationship, helping your child may leave you worn out and frustrated towards your spouse.
  6. Step 6 Ask for help.
    You don't need to let your child consume all of your time. Consider taking breaks and having time for yourself or others. Allow another trusted adult watch your child while you do something for yourself. Your child is important, but you don't want to forget about yourself, too.[28]
    • Asking for help doesn't make you weak. You shouldn't have to do this alone. Work with your spouse or partner if you have one, or ask others to help you so that you do not have to do it all by yourself.
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Tips

  • An activity or hobby that holds interest for your child can be very helpful in calming them down. Consider introducing doing activities such as art, a nature walk, or an interest in animals.
    Thanks
  • Exercise is very effective in preventing episodes, so get the child out and exercising often. Swimming, sports, lifting weights, doing acrobatics, and biking are very effective ways of working out.
    Thanks
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Warnings

  • Do not try to rush the child through an episode. This will only serve to make the child even angrier and may make the situation worse.
    Thanks
  • If your child is in a violent rage and is not calming down, do not approach them. This may be perceived as a threat and the child may attack. Remain in the area but keep your distance.
    Thanks
  • If the child attacks or assaults you, call a local mental health crisis center in your city. Contact the police and explain the situation; most departments have CIT (Crisis Intervention Team) officers and they are trained to handle mental health situations safely.
    Thanks
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml
  2. ↑ http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94881427
  3. ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml
  4. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  5. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-children-teens#1
  6. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  7. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  8. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  9. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  1. ↑ http://bipolarchild.com/resources/model-iep/
  2. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-children-teens#1
  3. ↑ http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94881427
  4. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-children-teens#1
  5. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-children-teens#1
  6. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  7. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  8. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-children-teens#1
  9. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/
  10. ↑ http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression/spot-signs-of-depressive-episode/
  11. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  12. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  13. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  14. ↑ http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94881427
  15. ↑ Elizabeth Weiss, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 July 2019.
  16. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  17. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm
  18. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-children-teens#1
  19. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/bipolar-disorder/helping-a-loved-one-with-bipolar-disorder.htm

About this article

Elizabeth Weiss, PsyD
Co-authored by:
Elizabeth Weiss, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Elizabeth Weiss, PsyD. Dr. Elizabeth Weiss is a licensed clinical psychologist in Palo Alto, California. She received her Psy.D. in 2009 at Palo Alto University's PGSP-Stanford PsyD Consortium. She specializes in trauma, grief, and resilience, and helps people reconnect with their full self after difficult and traumatic experiences. This article has been viewed 26,865 times.
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Co-authors: 17
Updated: August 30, 2023
Views: 26,865
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 26,865 times.

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