By now, you are probably familiar with Food Network celebrity and Iron Chef Bobby William Flay.
You are probably not familiar with me, a Bobby Flay fanatic.
About six months ago, I decided that it would be funny to send a crappily photoshopped steak filet with Bobby Flay's face on it to all my friends.
I then started sneakily implementing Bobby Flay into the URLs of my posts. The original Bobby Flay URL can be traced back to this post and it reads: "Bobby Flay is the bae say cheeto if u agree."
Bobby Flay fans flocked to the comments to chant "cheeto" with me:
As my love for Bobby boy grew stronger, the URLs grew more obscure.
And the Flay fanatics continued to chant along with me in the comments.
This went on completely unnoticed by my co-workers...
...then they discovered what I'd been up to, and the Great Bobby Breakthrough of 2015 happened.
@kaelinphoebe am I invited to the Bobby Flay tiki party?
My Bobby secret was out of the bag.
Guys @kaelinphoebe is hands down the most impressive troll @BuzzFeed.
@kaelinphoebe THESE URLS ARE OUT OF CONTROL TINKY WINKY
A video I made about the popular tourist location "Bobby Flay Bay" was uncovered.
Please watch this right now. http://t.co/1Rg6IW1SQe
And then my rapid spiral into the fandom began to deepen.
guy :babe can i use ur phone for a sec [turns to me with a look of pure horror] guy:why do u have a photo album with 721 pics of bobby flay
Despite my attempts to get him to hang out with me...
@bflay let's hang
...Bobby boy left me hanging every single time.
@bflay u are my buttery bun bun boy
I even compiled an entire post of Bobby filets.
I imagined what Bobby's opinion on "Netflix and chill" is, because I couldn't ask him myself.
And I wrote about his beloved Maine Coon, Nacho Flay.
Bobby remained silent, and I was alone in my fandom — just me and my URLs. Until this tweet popped up in my feed.
I'll be at @WilliamsSonoma in Short Hills Mall on 10/18 @ 1pm signing #BrunchatBobbys.Come say hello! Details here: http://t.co/WVz8NOPyEv
So I did what any real Bobby fan would do...I traveled across state lines from Queens, NY to meet the ginger prince of Food Network.
My mom accompanied me on my journey to Bobby.
Here she is leading the way to our boy.
And here I am in line, enjoying a snack from the generous prince himself.
I started to close in on Bobby and I couldn't handle the excitement.
Here, Bobby can be spotted in the distance. Oblivious to the fact that he is about to meet his biggest fan.
Nearing Bobby and no one suspects me yet.
And finally...the moment came. I greeted Bobby with a joy that would rival that of a young English child on an enchanting and chilly Christmas morn.
Bobby was not quite as enthused to meet me.
He had no idea that the URL sneak had struck again, and this time I infiltrated an innocent book signing.
Here he shows a bit of delight and excitement upon recognizing that we have matching shirts. What a moment.
A beautiful, angelic, shining moment indeed.
I may have only had a brief interaction with the ginger prince himself, but I will cherish this moment forever. I will tell my grandchildren, who will tell their grandchildren, and so on, and so on. Bobby boy will live on in my heart, for all of eternity.
