Right Shark had crisp, coordinated moves. Left Shark is drunk:
Left Shark failed out of choreography school. Left Shark fell asleep during the meeting where the moves were planned out, but nobody noticed (sharks sleep with their eyes open and remain mobile while asleep) and nodded his head when the dance instructor asked if he knew what he was doing. Left Shark only got this gig after threatening to bite the person in charge of casting.
But despite all his failings, Left Shark continued to fight. Left Shark danced like nobody was watching, even though 120 million people were watching. And that's beautiful.
The New England Patriots may have won the Super Bowl, but Left Shark is the true champion.
SB Nation presents: Final thoughts on the unbelievable finish to Super Bowl XLIX