What Your Choice Of Extremely Expensive Apple Watch Says About You

You are the teenage daughter of an Oregon timber magnate, but you've fallen for the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. You can tell he has a secret — but what is it?

You are an incredibly famous pop star in Brazil.

You have killed. You did not enjoy it, you are not proud of it, but you did what needed to be done. And you are prepared to do it again.

There is a deep hunger and craving inside you that can only be filled by one thing. Listening to the heartbeat of your lover who lives in a delapitated house in Detroit while you stay at your villa in Tangiers. You are both vampires but you refuse to eat humans anymore. Also, you are Tilda Swinton.

I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of yourself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

You work hard, you made your own money, and you like to enjoy the rewards for what you've accomplished. You enjoy the finer things in life, but you don't take anything for granted. Your priorities are your family, your work, friends, and last of all, your deep passion: the underground world of illegal dachshund fighting.

It's ironic that this watch isn't totally waterproof because you will meet your untimely end while wearing it in a tragic yachting accident.

You are Katy Perry.