How to Deal with Someone Who Has Bipolar Disorder

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: December 5, 2023 Approved

Bipolar disorder is a severe mental illness that can be confusing for other people to deal with. Someone with bipolar disorder might be so depressed that they cannot get out of bed one day and then seem so optimistic and energetic the next day that no one can keep up. If you know someone with bipolar disorder, then you may want to develop some strategies to support and encourage the person so that they can recover from this illness. Just make sure that you keep your limits in mind and seek emergency medical help if the person seems violent or suicidal.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Helping Someone with Bipolar Disorder

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1
Watch for symptoms. If the person has already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, then you may know all about the symptoms of this condition already. Bipolar disorder is characterized by periods of mania and depression. During manic phases, someone may seem to have boundless energy and during depressive phases, that same person might not get out of bed for days.^{[1]
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- Manic phases may be characterized by high levels of optimism or irritability, unrealistic ideas about one’s abilities, feeling energetic despite getting little sleep, speaking rapidly and going quickly from one idea to the next, not being able to concentrate, making impulsive or poor decisions, and even hallucinating.^{[2]
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- Depressive phases are characterized by hopelessness, sadness, emptiness, irritability, losing interest in things, fatigue, lack of concentration, appetite changes, weight changes, difficulty sleeping, feeling worthless or guilty, and considering suicide.^{[3]
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2
Consider the differences in bipolar disorder types. Bipolar disorder is divided into four subtypes. These definitions can help mental health practitioners to identify the disorder whether the symptoms are mild or severe. The four subtypes are:^{[4]
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- Bipolar I Disorder. This subtype is characterized by manic episodes that last for seven days or that are severe enough that the person needs hospitalization. These episodes are followed by depressive episodes that last at least two weeks.
- Bipolar II Disorder. This subtype is characterized by depressive episodes followed by mild manic episodes, but these episodes are not severe enough to warrant hospitalization.
- Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (BP-NOS). This subtype is when someone has symptoms of bipolar disorder, but they do not meet the criteria for a bipolar I or II diagnosis.
- Cyclothymia. This subtype is when someone has had symptoms of bipolar disorder for two years, but the symptoms are mild.
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3
Communicate your concerns. If you think that someone may be suffering from bipolar disorder, then you should say something. When you approach the person, make sure that you do so from a standpoint of concern and not judgment. Remember that bipolar disorder is a mental illness and the person cannot control their behaviors.^{[5]
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- Try saying something like, “I care about you and I have noticed that you have been struggling lately. I want to you to know that I am here for you and I want to help.”
4
Offer to listen. Someone with bipolar disorder may feel comforted by having someone who is willing to listen to how they are feeling. Make sure that the person knows that you are happy to listen if they want to talk.
- When you listen, do not judge the person or try to solve their problems. Just listen and offer some genuine encouragement. For example, you might say something like, “It sounds like you have been having a really hard time. I don’t know how you feel, but I care about you and I want to help you.”^{[6]
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5
Make a doctor’s appointment. The person may be incapable of making an appointment for themselves due to the symptoms of bipolar disorder, so one way that you can help is by offering to make a doctor’s appointment.
- If the person is resistant to the idea of seeking help for the disorder, then do not try to force them. Instead, you may consider making an appointment for your the person to have a general health check-up and see if the person feels compelled to ask the doctor about the symptoms they have been having.
6
Encourage the person to take prescribed medications. If the person has been prescribed medications to help control their bipolar symptoms, then make sure that they take those medications. It is common for people with bipolar disorder to stop taking their medications because they feel better or because they miss having manic phases.
- Remind the person that the medications are necessary and that stopping them may make things worse.
Even though there may be some improvement in the person’s bipolar disorder after a few months of treatment, recovering from bipolar disorder can take years. There may also be setbacks along the way, so try to be patient with your the person as they recover.^{[7]
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8
Take time for yourself. Supporting someone who has bipolar disorder can take a large toll on you, so make sure that you take time for yourself.^{[8]
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Research source} Make sure that you have some time away from the person every day.
- For example, you might go to an exercise class, meet a friend for coffee, or read a book. You may also consider seeking counseling to help you deal with the stress and emotional strain of supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Dealing with Mania

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1
Be a calming presence. During a manic episode, a person with bipolar disorder may become over stimulated or irritated by long conversations or certain topics. Try to talk to the person in a calming way and avoid engaging in an argument or lengthy discussion about something.^{[9]
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- Try not to bring up anything that might trigger the person’s mania. For example, you might want to avoid asking about something that is stressful for the individual or a goal that the person has been trying to accomplish. Instead, talk about the weather, a TV show, or something else that is unlikely to stress the person.
2
Encourage the person to get lots of rest. During a manic phase, the person may feel like they only need a few hours of sleep to feel rested.^{[10]
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Go to source} However, not getting enough sleep may make matters worse.
- Try to encourage the person to sleep as much as possible at night and to take naps during the day if needed.
3
Go for walks. Taking walks with your the person during manic episodes can be a good way to help them use excess energy and provide a good opportunity for the two of you to talk as well. Try to invite the person to go on a walk with you once per day or at least a few times per week.^{[11]
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- Regular exercise can also help when someone is having symptoms of depression, so try to encourage exercise no matter what the person’s mood is like.
4
Watch for impulsive behavior. During manic episodes, the person may be prone to impulsive behavior such as drug use, shopping in excess, or going on a long trip. Try to encourage the person to think a bit longer before making any major purchases or starting a new project when they are in the midst of a manic episode.^{[12]
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- If overspending is often an issue, then you might encourage the person to leave credit cards and extra cash at home when these episodes strike.
- If drinking or using drugs seems to intensify the situation, then you might encourage the person to avoid using alcohol or other substances.^{[13]
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5
Try not to take comments personally. When someone is in the middle of a manic period, they may say hurtful things or try to start arguments with you. Try not to take these comments personally and do not engage in arguments with the person.
- Remind yourself that these comments are due to the illness and do not represent how the person really feels.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Dealing with Depression

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1
Suggest working towards a small goal. During a depressive episode, it may be hard for the person to accomplish large goals, so setting small manageable goals may help.^{[14]
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Research source} Accomplishing a small goal may also help the person feel better.
- For example, if the person is complaining that she needs to clean her whole house, then you might suggest just tackling something small like a coat closet or bathroom.
2
Encourage positive strategies for dealing with depression. When someone is depressed, it may be tempting to turn to negative coping mechanisms, such as alcohol, isolating oneself, or not taking medications. Instead, try to encourage the person to use positive coping mechanisms.^{[15]
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- For example, you can suggest calling their therapist, doing a little exercise, or engaging in a hobby when a depressive mood strikes.
3
Provide genuine encouragement. Encouraging the person during depressive phases will help them to know that someone there cares. Make sure that you avoid making promises or relying on clichés when you encourage your friend or the person.
- For example, don’t say, “Everything will be fine,” “It’s all in your head,” or “When life give you lemons, make lemonade!”
- Instead, say things like, “I care about you,” “I am here for you,” “You are a good person and I am happy that you are in my life.”^{[16]
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4
Try to establish a routine. During depressive phases, the person may prefer to stay in bed, isolate themselves, or just watch TV all day. Do your best to help the person establish a daily routine so that they always have something to do.^{[17]
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- For example, you might establish a time for your the person to get up and shower, a time to go get the mail, a time to take a walk, and time to do something fun, like reading a book or playing a game.
5
Watch for signs that the person may be suicidal. During depressive phases, people are more prone to thoughts of suicide. Make sure that you take any comments about suicide seriously.^{[18]
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- If the person is acting suicidal or indicating that they have plans to kill themselves and/or harm others, then call emergency services for help. Do not try to deal with someone who is suicidal or violent on your own.

How Do You Treat Bipolar Disorder?

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Warnings

Never try to handle violence or suicidal threats on your own! Call emergency services for help.

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Do not dismiss the person’s behavior or say “It’s all in your head.” Remember that bipolar disorder is a mental illness and the person cannot control the way that they feel.

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