1. Dread Cthulhu has been reborn!
2. He's risen from a slumbering state to take the Golden State.
3. His far-reaching tentacles are enveloping Spain...
4. ...and are writhing forth from your laptop!
5. He lights our way to ineffable darkness...
6. ...and is delicious as a cookie (Cthuukie?).
7. Cthulhu! Even our wardrobes are not spared.
8. After all, his visage is on literally every t-shirt ever.
9. (And they're perfect gifts to place beneath the Cthulumas wreath.)
10. Nothing is safe from Cthulhu. Not our beards, our arms...
11. ...or even our faces.
12. And remember: that is not dead which can eternal lie (and also do a burlesque number)...
13. ...and with strange aeons even death may die.
