How to Get a Date

Co-authored by Cher Gopman and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 14, 2024 Approved

Going out on dates is a great way to meet potential partners and see if you two are a match. Getting a date, however, can be a nerve wracking experience—but it doesn’t have to be! Use these tips and tricks to approach people online or in-person and (hopefully!) get someone to agree to a date.

1

Hang out in places with people your own age.

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You’ll have a better chance of meeting someone if you’re out and about. If you’re old enough, you could try going to a bar or a club. If that isn’t really your scene, hit up a coffee shop or a bookstore nearby. ^{[1]
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- You could also try joining a book club or a hobby club to meet people interested in the same things as you.

2

Ask a friend or family member to set you up with someone.

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Your loved ones might know someone else who is single. If you feel comfortable, you can ask them to pass on your name or number and potentially set up a date. Your friends and family probably know you well, so they should be able to pick someone who is right for you.^{[2]
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- Setups like this are often called “blind dates,” and they can be a little nerve wracking. However, they’re a great way to guarantee a date!

3

Strike up a conversation with a stranger.

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Pick a good opening line to keep your potential date’s interest. Try looking for something around you that you could talk about, like books in a book store or produce in a supermarket. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking; just something that you two can talk about for a few minutes.^{[3]
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- For example, if you are in a supermarket, you might say, “Those new bakery cookies look good. Have you tried them yet?”
- Or, if you’re in a bookstore, you can ask, “Have you read that book yet? The reviews say it’s great!”
- Stay away from pickup lines, as they can be a little off putting.

4

Use open body language when you're talking to people.

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Show the person that you’re interested before you even start talking. Stand up straight, push your shoulders back, smile, and make eye contact to show that you’re really listening. Try standing a little closer to them than you would with anyone else to show that you’re interested in them.^{[4]
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- Occasionally, you can tip your head to the side or nod to show interest.
- Speak slowly and confidently.

5

Try a little small talk to keep things light.

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Strike up a conversation with someone you're interested in. Listen and pay attention to what your potential date is saying, and start the conversation off slowly. Look for details that you can use to keep the conversation going.^{[5]
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- For example, if they say they haven’t tried something because they’re vegan, ask them how long they’ve been avoiding meat.
- Or, if they’re interested in the same book as you, talk about other books the author has written or novels that you’ve liked in the past.

6

Suggest an activity for a date to be direct.

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You can use your common interests to suggest an activity. If they’re outdoorsy, try going for a nature walk. If they like coffee, visit a cafe nearby.^{[6]
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7

Be honest about your feelings for the easiest approach.

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You can simply tell your potential date that you’re into them. If you two just met, keep it lighthearted and don’t make a huge deal out of it. Just tell them that you think they’re interesting and you’d like to meet up again. Try something like:^{[7]
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- “I know we just met, but you seem really cool. I’d love to get to know you a little better.”
- “Are you free this weekend? I had a really nice time chatting with you, I’d love to continue this over dinner.”

8

Make the date their idea to keep things casual.

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Learn more about what they like to do for fun, then ask them out. People are usually more comfortable with their own plans, and they might be more likely to agree if they suggest something. For example, you could say:^{[8]
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- “Know any good restaurants nearby?” When your date lists one, say “Sounds good! We should go there sometime.”
- “What’s your favorite place to get a drink around here?” After your date says the name of their favorite bar, say, “That place sounds cool. Want to grab a drink there tonight?”

9

Create a challenge to keep things lighthearted.

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See who can come up with the best date idea. This works well if you can tell that your potential date has a competitive side to them. Say something like, “I bet you can’t come up with a better date than I can.” When they explain their date idea, change your mind and say, “Okay, you win. Let’s do that.”^{[9]
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- This is a fun, flirty way to ask for a date that isn’t super serious. It can help put your potential date at ease if they’re not so sure about you.

10

Ask for their number to take it slow.

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Some people might not agree to a date with someone they just met. Try asking for their number so you can text or call them and get to know them more before going out. This is a great way to ask someone out if they seem a little iffy on agreeing to a date with you.^{[10]
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- Say something casual like, "I have to run, but let me grab your number so we can hang out sometime!"^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}

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Question

Can I get a girlfriend online?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Yes! If you're asking someone out you met online, try to have at least 5 back-and-forth exchanges before you ask them out on a date.

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Question

How do you politely ask for a date?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to suggest a date that's related to your common interests. For example, if you find out you both enjoy hiking, you could say something like, "I'm actually going on a hike this Sunday. Do you want to go with me?”

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Question

What if the other person likes pick-up lines?

Hannah Madden

Community Answer

If you know they'll like a goofy pickup line, go for it! They work well on close friends and people who have a good sense of humor.

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