What do you think?
Rate this book
Dear Son: A Father's Advice on Being a Man
Today’s culture doesn’t encourage men to grow up. Everyone from pastors to op-ed columnists have described a crisis of masculinity, fostered by a media culture that uniformly make men the butts of jokes. Men are much more likely to give up on life than women. One indicator of this is the large gender difference in suicide rates―men are four times more likely than women to drop out of life. This points to a profound lack of effective mentoring of men, especially in the church. Dave Bruskas seeks to fill in this gap with this book. Two decades ago, Dave lost his only infant son to a congenital heart defect. That devastating loss fueled his desire to provide effective mentoring to young men. Dear Son contains the guidance and insights Dave would have given his son if he had lived through the milestones of growing from first dates to first jobs, from weddings to births, from friendships to funerals. Dear Son contains heartfelt wisdom for life’s journey, especially for guys―and for those who want to strengthen them.
224 pages, Paperback
First published April 18, 2014
About the author
David Bruskas
1 bookDave Bruskas serves as an executive elder of Mars Hill Church. He is the teaching and network pastor, overseeing all lead pastors at each Mars Hill location. Born in Albuquerque, Dave planted City on a Hill Church in his hometown in 2001. He pastored that church for 10 years before transitioning into Mars Hill Albuquerque, the first Mars Hill outside of the state of Washington. He remained lead pastor until moving to Seattle in 2011, to take on the role of executive elder. He’s a graduate of Texas Tech University and Dallas Theological Seminary, where he won the Harry A. Ironside Award for Expository Preaching. He’s a proven, seasoned pastor and gifted teacher. He frequently teaches at all 14 Mars Hill locations as well as the Resurgence Training Center (ReTrain). He’s been married to his wife, Kara, for 26 years and has four lovely daughters.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 3, 2014
"Dear Son" by Dave Bruskas is a book meant for young unmarried men each chapter starts with a letter to the author's son who died in infancy then speech on manhood. I did not enjoy this book, I will admit at times it was interesting but overall not for me. Yes I know I am not the target audience of this book but even for men its not that good. It is advice book with some scripture thrown in it. Most of the book seemed to me a like do this and you will be the best parent/husband out there (Yes I know the author mentions that we can't be perfect but he sure made me feel like we should be). The section that annoyed me the most was when he was talking about work, he talks about jobs that in his opinion can't support a family. For example he mentions theater managers, retail associates, etc, those positions depending on the area can easily support a family maybe not in this author's area but in other areas they can. Then another section he discussing how a preacher he has listened to extensively does not repent of any of his sins publicly then goes on to discuss this preachers former members that have moved. He then says that they are great doctrinally but proudly self-righteous like their leader, well if that is such a problem why does he listen to the preacher. I just cannot recommend this book.
I was given this book by Tyndale Publishers for my honest review.
I was given this book by Tyndale Publishers for my honest review.
April 30, 2014
I thought this was a good read. Now, it focuses more on young men who are not married yet and do not have children. I have been married for 9 years and have 4 children so it doesn't all relate to me personally but there were many important things I took from this book none the less. It made me look back at my life and think "gee, I wish someone would have taught me that when I was growing up". In other words, there was a lot of hindsight I saw while reading this.
The flow of the book went really well for someone's first written book!
I enjoyed it and would highly recommend this to all single young guys and more newly married guys.
thanks
Paul
The flow of the book went really well for someone's first written book!
I enjoyed it and would highly recommend this to all single young guys and more newly married guys.
thanks
Paul
April 20, 2022
I wish this book was still in print.
I found this to be the best book on biblical manhood I've ever read. I'm the mother of two young boys, and though this book is meant to be a spiritual "father" addressing "sons", I found it extremely helpful in terms of how to think about how I'll talk to my boys about different topics as they are older. Though my husband would take the lead on some of the topics, there will be times when it will be me who talks to them about who they can be as young men in the Lord and this book will be a big help in that.
This is a book of reasonableness. It doesn't call boys to be "warriors" or "dragon slayers" but calls them to wisdom, respect, honoring, listening, and protection of the people in their care. It highlights how to be a person, someone who serves in the church, a husband, father, and so on.
I would recommend this book to any parent of boys or any young man who is working through what it means to be a godly man and live a godly life.
I found this to be the best book on biblical manhood I've ever read. I'm the mother of two young boys, and though this book is meant to be a spiritual "father" addressing "sons", I found it extremely helpful in terms of how to think about how I'll talk to my boys about different topics as they are older. Though my husband would take the lead on some of the topics, there will be times when it will be me who talks to them about who they can be as young men in the Lord and this book will be a big help in that.
This is a book of reasonableness. It doesn't call boys to be "warriors" or "dragon slayers" but calls them to wisdom, respect, honoring, listening, and protection of the people in their care. It highlights how to be a person, someone who serves in the church, a husband, father, and so on.
I would recommend this book to any parent of boys or any young man who is working through what it means to be a godly man and live a godly life.
July 23, 2014
I mostly requested this book because I am a single mother and I need all the help I can get with my young son – who is 11 at the moment.
And my advice to you, is to
BUY THIS BOOK!
Whether you ARE a father, or you plan to become a father some day… Whether you are a single mother or a man who is new to Faith and in need of help along the way… If you are a man who has not been the father you need to be or the son who needs to heal the relationship with their own father.
This is the book for you!
This is the book for ALL fathers, sons, young men about to become fathers or single mothers who don’t know how to teach their sons what they’re missing from the father who should be there.
Dave Bruskas GETS IT. So many people today say that things have changed – and while that is certainly true – God has not changed and he never will. And, while our world is confusing and troubled – the relationship between father and son is just as vital as it always has been.
Now, I am not a man or a young boy but I had a distressing relationship with my father for years and when I finally began to realize that I needed to treat him the way the Bible told me to, we began to relate in a way that we never have. I can only imagine the drastic changes we would see in this country if all young men began to do this as well.
One thing Dave Bruskas seems to understand better than most pastors I know is that God truly is a Father to the Fatherless – even those who have a father who is physically there but doesn’t really know how to BE a father. Most of us don’t think about those children. We focus on the children who don’t have a father physically present in their lives. Those are the kids who miss out – right?
Not the ones who understand that God is their Father!
There are parts of this book that are a bit brutal and I applaud that. Too many people tiptoe around the truth because they’re concerned they might possibly offend someone. And, while I am not a fan of the harsh ways some people try to evangelize (bloody pictures of Christ on the side of a bus or truck or a depiction of what we think Hell might be like on a billboard), I do believe that people need to hear and see the truth. And sometimes that truth needs to be brutal.
The words may be harsh in places but the format of the book is not – quite the opposite actually. Dave writes a series of letters to the son he never got to see grow up. It’s heartbreaking but it gives a unique perspective that so many of us – with perfectly healthy young sons – take for granted.
I am truly blessed to have found this book and I am anxious to pass it on to my son. Most of the information in it is helpful to me right now but one day soon, he will need to read it too.
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review.
And my advice to you, is to
BUY THIS BOOK!
Whether you ARE a father, or you plan to become a father some day… Whether you are a single mother or a man who is new to Faith and in need of help along the way… If you are a man who has not been the father you need to be or the son who needs to heal the relationship with their own father.
This is the book for you!
This is the book for ALL fathers, sons, young men about to become fathers or single mothers who don’t know how to teach their sons what they’re missing from the father who should be there.
Dave Bruskas GETS IT. So many people today say that things have changed – and while that is certainly true – God has not changed and he never will. And, while our world is confusing and troubled – the relationship between father and son is just as vital as it always has been.
Now, I am not a man or a young boy but I had a distressing relationship with my father for years and when I finally began to realize that I needed to treat him the way the Bible told me to, we began to relate in a way that we never have. I can only imagine the drastic changes we would see in this country if all young men began to do this as well.
One thing Dave Bruskas seems to understand better than most pastors I know is that God truly is a Father to the Fatherless – even those who have a father who is physically there but doesn’t really know how to BE a father. Most of us don’t think about those children. We focus on the children who don’t have a father physically present in their lives. Those are the kids who miss out – right?
Not the ones who understand that God is their Father!
There are parts of this book that are a bit brutal and I applaud that. Too many people tiptoe around the truth because they’re concerned they might possibly offend someone. And, while I am not a fan of the harsh ways some people try to evangelize (bloody pictures of Christ on the side of a bus or truck or a depiction of what we think Hell might be like on a billboard), I do believe that people need to hear and see the truth. And sometimes that truth needs to be brutal.
The words may be harsh in places but the format of the book is not – quite the opposite actually. Dave writes a series of letters to the son he never got to see grow up. It’s heartbreaking but it gives a unique perspective that so many of us – with perfectly healthy young sons – take for granted.
I am truly blessed to have found this book and I am anxious to pass it on to my son. Most of the information in it is helpful to me right now but one day soon, he will need to read it too.
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review.
May 15, 2014
Dave Bruskas, father of four daughters, writes a book aimed at young men in their teens to twenties. Why should a prospective reader consider this book? Two decades ago, Bruskas lost an infant son. Dear Son, a message written from the heart, is the author’s answer to the question, “What lessons would I teach my son about being the man God wants him to be?” Bruskas desires to be a fatherly help to young men who do not have practicing dads of their own.
The book is written as a conversation between an older man with much life experience and a younger man who needs a clue. As a pastor, Bruskas has fulfilled this role for many, and his real world knowledge is evident in the text. Bruskas states, “But words have enormous power. They may be used to build up or tear down.” With that awareness, he strives to communicate clearly so the reader gets the message.
Chapter 5 (Provider) offers practical career advice on planning and preparing for the future. The upcoming generation may have difficulty adopting a long-range view in the preparative years following high school graduation. Bruskas spells out the issues and raises great questions to help in the planning.
Chapter 10 (Vessel) covers the need for purity and personal holiness. Bruskas explains, “your usefulness to Jesus and your fruitfulness in the church will be determined far more by your character than by your competency.” The reader is reminded that gifts and abilities belong to God and are given as an aid in serving others.
Are you a young man in your late teens or early twenties trying to find your way? Could you use some sound life advice from one who cares? Pick up your copy of Dear Son, grab a pen, and start making notes. You will find a solid return for your time investment.
Note - Tyndale House Publishers provided a complimentary copy of Dear Son to facilitate this review.
The book is written as a conversation between an older man with much life experience and a younger man who needs a clue. As a pastor, Bruskas has fulfilled this role for many, and his real world knowledge is evident in the text. Bruskas states, “But words have enormous power. They may be used to build up or tear down.” With that awareness, he strives to communicate clearly so the reader gets the message.
Chapter 5 (Provider) offers practical career advice on planning and preparing for the future. The upcoming generation may have difficulty adopting a long-range view in the preparative years following high school graduation. Bruskas spells out the issues and raises great questions to help in the planning.
Chapter 10 (Vessel) covers the need for purity and personal holiness. Bruskas explains, “your usefulness to Jesus and your fruitfulness in the church will be determined far more by your character than by your competency.” The reader is reminded that gifts and abilities belong to God and are given as an aid in serving others.
Are you a young man in your late teens or early twenties trying to find your way? Could you use some sound life advice from one who cares? Pick up your copy of Dear Son, grab a pen, and start making notes. You will find a solid return for your time investment.
Note - Tyndale House Publishers provided a complimentary copy of Dear Son to facilitate this review.
October 27, 2014
'Dear Son: A Father's Advice on Being a Man' by Dave Bruskas has the kind of title you might just overlook. When you realize that the author is a sonless father and this is his advice to a son he lost a long time ago, it takes on poignancy. The advice is solid and given over a lifetime of ministry to young men.
The book is divided into chapters, each focusing on a different characteristic of a young man's life. Titles like Christian, Brother, Provider and Citizen give you an idea of the content. Each chapter begins with a letter from Dave to his son, who died shortly after being born. As someone who has gone through a not unsimilar loss, I can agree that it's the kind of thing that stays with you. The letters are about milestones in the family: graduations, events in his sister's schools, and birthdays. After the letter is some Christian advice for young men. According to Dave, we have a crisis among young men who are not stepping into the roles they should to lead the next generation. There are illustrations from young men that Dave has led and shepherded.
It's a well written book and easy enough to read. I've heard Dave preach on a number of occasions and he has a similar writing style. It's personal, straightforward and sincere. Recommended for young men in their late teens to late 20s.
I received a review copy of this ebook from Tyndale House Publishers, Resurgence and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this ebook.
The book is divided into chapters, each focusing on a different characteristic of a young man's life. Titles like Christian, Brother, Provider and Citizen give you an idea of the content. Each chapter begins with a letter from Dave to his son, who died shortly after being born. As someone who has gone through a not unsimilar loss, I can agree that it's the kind of thing that stays with you. The letters are about milestones in the family: graduations, events in his sister's schools, and birthdays. After the letter is some Christian advice for young men. According to Dave, we have a crisis among young men who are not stepping into the roles they should to lead the next generation. There are illustrations from young men that Dave has led and shepherded.
It's a well written book and easy enough to read. I've heard Dave preach on a number of occasions and he has a similar writing style. It's personal, straightforward and sincere. Recommended for young men in their late teens to late 20s.
I received a review copy of this ebook from Tyndale House Publishers, Resurgence and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this ebook.
August 22, 2014
This is a fabulous book for parents of sons to give to their sons when they start to date. In this book Dave Bruskas tells young men how to run the race of life as a Christian by sticking close to Christian friends, pursue holiness, stay pure before marriage, and not get hurt by three major distractions: pleasure, passions, and pride. We need Christian brothers to run with us, to help us in the fight to stay pure, pursue righteousness, be governed by faith, and have hearts ruled by Jesus. We need Bible believing churches where Jesus is the focal point of the sermon, and suffering, faith, pursuit of righteousness and growth of purity are mentioned. Since young men need to be able to provide for their families, they need to seek jobs with a future in mind. They should avoid jobs without a future and low paying jobs. They should seek jobs they like to do and do well, that pay well, and offer benefits. If they go to college, they should have a career in mind. Some practical steps they should take are 1) Pray, 2) Get counsel, 3) Pick a path, 4) Plan and set goals, 5) Partner with someone who has done this. 6) Flee youthful passions. Christians can expect persecution. We must submit to authority, do good works, not hide our gifts, avoid anger, arguing, and assassinating character.
July 20, 2014
“I like to believe that you would have been a young man people paid attention to and that you would have brought some good to this world that is desperately in need of help. I am proud of you, who you are, and who I think you might have been. I love you!” (a letter to the author’s son, Chapter Four)
“Dear Son: A Father’s Advice on Being a Man” is a well-written and easy-to-read book. Each chapter begins with the letters that author Dave Bruskas wished he could have given to his son if he had not lost him in infancy. You can feel his heartfelt urgency in every letter and every word of guidance.
He encourages young men (although the current track record for young men may not be impressive) to take their life seriously because they live in a broken world needing hope of Godly men.
He asks several valuable questions including: “What if your freedom is blinding you to what actually may be enslaving you? What if, in the energy and idealism of young manhood, you are in the process of losing the only thing that matters while chasing everything else?”
CONTINUED HERE: http://istoriaville.com/2014/07/20/a-...
“Dear Son: A Father’s Advice on Being a Man” is a well-written and easy-to-read book. Each chapter begins with the letters that author Dave Bruskas wished he could have given to his son if he had not lost him in infancy. You can feel his heartfelt urgency in every letter and every word of guidance.
He encourages young men (although the current track record for young men may not be impressive) to take their life seriously because they live in a broken world needing hope of Godly men.
He asks several valuable questions including: “What if your freedom is blinding you to what actually may be enslaving you? What if, in the energy and idealism of young manhood, you are in the process of losing the only thing that matters while chasing everything else?”
CONTINUED HERE: http://istoriaville.com/2014/07/20/a-...
July 21, 2014
Dear Son is designed to spiritually and practically guide young men in their actions, behaviors, thoughts, and lifestyle choices. Dave Bruskas starts out by discussing a bit about his son that left this life not very long after it just began. Each chapter of this book starts off by a letter from Dave to his son, as only a dad could write it. Immediately after the letter follows a discussion on a topic related to the letter, like being a Christian, a father, a husband, used by God, and being a provider to name a few.
Amazing! That is what I thought Dear Son was, amazing. Even though I am of the female species, I found the reading to be quite interesting and useful. Especially useful since I have just given birth to a son, my first child at the age of 45. This book was a page-turner, I loved it! I found the advice and guidance to be wise and right on target. There were Biblical scriptures used throughout the book.
I highly recommend this book, not just for young men but for all readers!
I have received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes from Tyndale House in exchange for an honest review.
Amazing! That is what I thought Dear Son was, amazing. Even though I am of the female species, I found the reading to be quite interesting and useful. Especially useful since I have just given birth to a son, my first child at the age of 45. This book was a page-turner, I loved it! I found the advice and guidance to be wise and right on target. There were Biblical scriptures used throughout the book.
I highly recommend this book, not just for young men but for all readers!
I have received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes from Tyndale House in exchange for an honest review.
July 15, 2014
Dear Son is basically a letter from a father to his son about how he would have raised him and what he would have taught him if he had survived. The author lost his only son when he was only a baby and he took his heartbreak to reach out to young men to teach them what it is to be a man. In this book, the author explains that the church and fathers have failed to not only mentor young men but also to show them what it is to be a man of God and the effects of that on society. He makes a case about this lack of mentoring to help cause some men to give up or even take their own lives and he explains that our culture only adds to this problem. In this book, the author explains what guidance and teachings he would have passed on to his own son regarding things like dating, getting married, working, births, and friendships, and how to act during funerals. This is a great read for any man especially those who are raising young men of their own because it has so many great insights and practical teachings that are important for any man to know today.
August 15, 2014
This should be a must read for young men – preferably while they are in high school or college! Mr. Bruskas has broken his book into 11 chapters – each begins with a letter to his son and then goes on to discuss more fully a topic that relates to a man’s place in the world – Christian, son, brother, provider, citizen, etc. I was really impressed with Mr. Bruskas chapter on provider where he challenges young men to, after high school graduation, join the military, go to college, or go to trade school. They need to be thinking of how they can provide for a future family. Spending time at a job that doesn’t pay well but that they love is merely selfishness on their part as they are not preparing to provide for a family. Mr. Bruskas also challenges young men in many more areas. Excellent book!
June 23, 2014
We live in a very hostile environment towards men.This past Spring I took a Psychology of Gender class in college and the teacher addressed the issue of how Christian men are at an alarming rate, not going to church and are becoming apathetic in the Christian religion. This book really addressed that issue and so many others. This is a book that any man should read and especially if one has sons or is planning on having children. It is a well written, thought provoking book and would make a great gift to any young man in ones life. I am so glad that books like this are being written to address the vitally important role of men in a society that isn't very good to them.
I received this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
I received this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
November 12, 2015
This book pulled on the heartstrings a little. I had some moments where I put it down because, let's get real, David's son died and he relives that moment over and over again throughout the book.
There were nuggets of wisdom interlaced in this book; some of this book was fluffy and difficult to read; most of it was worth it. Excellent points, actually. The one about most college students leaving the church because of dads' hypocrisy; David's discussion about going to college, trade school, or the military was, hand's down, the best advice this book offered and I recommend this book to all young men.
Thanks,
Rob
There were nuggets of wisdom interlaced in this book; some of this book was fluffy and difficult to read; most of it was worth it. Excellent points, actually. The one about most college students leaving the church because of dads' hypocrisy; David's discussion about going to college, trade school, or the military was, hand's down, the best advice this book offered and I recommend this book to all young men.
Thanks,
Rob
July 7, 2015
with a letter from the author to his son. (The author, Dave Brukas, lost his son only a few short days after his birth.) Dave Brukas through this heartbreaking event—was able to heal by learning to become a father figure to young men in his church and now to many through this book! The book shares wisdom that he wishes to pass to his son and other young men as well! - See more at: http://www.levinerlife.com/2015/07/de...
June 19, 2014
This was a great book on both biological and spiritual fatherhood and sonship. I appreciated Pastor Dave's openness with personal experiences, and his desire to see young men grow into strong godly men. I recommend this book to any man looking to grow as a disciple.
January 19, 2015
Finished this book a while ago and did a book review which you can read at http://www.toddmckeever.com/2014/08/d...
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
October 25, 2014
An amazing read. Incredibly encouraging.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews