Cereal is delicious. We all know that. But the power of cereal reaches beyond the confines of the kitchen table.
The scent... the artificial flavoring, the food coloring, the pounds of sugar and high fructose corn syrup... will undoubtedly cause sexual arousal. Like, for real.
You think about it all day, waiting for the next time you can put it in your mouth.
All day, every day, 24/7.
Look at this fucking complete breakfast.
It's so delicious it hurts. Whoever went like, "Let's make a breakfast item that'll cause people to have an orgasm" is a genius. That person deserves a fucking statue...
...and the sexual pleasure of a thousand bowls of Lucky Charms.
I mean, just look at the way those flakes are SMOTHERED with melted chocolate and 1% low-fat milk.
::STICKS TONGUE OUT::
YEAH, MICHAELANGELO! You sprinkle that shit all over your pizza.
FUCK YES, PEE WEE! THROW DOWN SOME MR. T ON THOSE FUCKING PANCAKES.
All that cinnamon, all that crunch, all that brown sugar raining down from the heavens above...
So goddamn sexy it'll make you crazy.
So fucking crazy it'll make you LOOPY!
Oh... yeah... just like that...
YEAH, POP FOR ME, BAYBAY!
YEAH, BABY, JUST LIKE THAT!!!!!
CEREAL! TAKE ME LIKE THIS, HERE AND NOW!
HONEY BABY, PLEASE! YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO GUUUUUUD!
OH, FUCK!
... yeah...
... mhmm...
::silence::
::more silence::
::sexual silence::
So yeah... cereal is awesome.
