21 Cocktails You Can Totally Pretend Are Healthy

We all know that adding kale to anything automatically makes it good for you. Recipe here.

See that sprig of thyme? That means it's a salad. Recipe here.

Cranberries for UTI prevention, obvs. Recipe here.

Because if the carrots don't help you see things more clearly, at least the alcohol will. Recipe here.

Between the cucumbers and the mint leaves, you've basically met your greens requirement for the week. Recipe here.

Hydration is really important in the summer. Celery is good, too. Recipe here.

The salami garnish adds protein to an already vegetable-heavy beverage. Recipe here.

Nothing soothes like chamomile, especially when mixed with whiskey, amirite? Recipe here.

Metabolism boosting green tea means the calories from the sugar don't even exist. Recipe here.

An appetizer and cocktail rolled into one: So economical of you. Recipe here.

Peas and rum: Both will keep you young. Recipe here.

Celery actually has negative calories, so you can drink five of these and still come out ahead. Sort of. Recipe here.

Want to cheat on your cleanse but just a ~little~? Add bourbon. Recipe here.

Vodka kills bacteria. Honest. Recipe here.

Spicy foods help burn calories so adding a chile means this cocktail practically never even happened. Which is perfect because after a couple, you won't remember it anyway. Recipe here.

Just another example of Anthropologie reading into my soul and giving me exactly what I never knew I always needed. Recipe here.

Practically an arugula and pineapple salad with a rum-sugar dressing. Recipe here.

There's gotta be something nutritious left in the pickle juice, right? (Recipe: Shot of whiskey, followed by shot of pickle juice.)

Totally works on a raw food diet, too. Recipe here.

Antioxidants like WHOA. Plus cucumber. Recipe here.

Oh hey, healthy fats. I almost didn't see you there with my good friend, Tequila. Recipe here.