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Despite being the harsh one, Liam always had a soft spot for Zayn. Maybe it was the fact that he was really a vulnerable puppy inside his bad boy exterior, or maybe the fact that his happier moods were so rare that it was be a tragedy to, for lack of a better word, shit all over it. But it might just be the plain reality that Zayn is fucking gorgeous and the ‘platonic’ sex was in fact mind-blowing.
Between the two of them, there was only one rule: if no one knows, nothing happened. So almost every other night on tour, either one of them would claim to feel lonely at night, eventually sharing a bed with the other and ultimately letting the sexual frustration get the best of them.
They both know they have loyalties—or at least obligations—to their girlfriends, but how can they deny such an open opportunity to feel satisfied and pleasured when they are deprived of public affection. They both agreed on never letting their feelings get involved (“This isn’t about our hearts, Liam; it’s just about getting rid of a hard dick”), and that it never leaves the pair of them (“Yeah Zayn, ‘cause everyone will take the situation of two straight guys—who have girlfriends, by the way—banging each other”).
But somehow, to be straightforward, they banged their ways into each other’s hearts without even trying.
***
“I know, Per. I will try to get a flight home tonight, but I can’t guarantee anything babe. You know how strict management are about flying home during tour,” Zayn lied through his teeth on the phone with his girlfriend—well, fiancé now.
Liam shuffled back into their shared hotel room wearing nothing but a thin towel low on his waist, as he had only got out of the shower. Seeing Liam in that state only reminded Zayn of his sore back and arse, as well as the fact that Perrie could never satisfy him like that.
Smiling at him, Zayn suppressed his desire towards Liam and tried to focus on Perrie complaining about how her parents’ anniversary was apparently also his concern. He also tried his best to reverse the blood that was flowing towards his lower area as Liam bent over his suitcase to pick up an outfit for the day. All he could think of was how he was bent over the same way just last week in Turin; how he was begging for Zayn’s cock as he teased the younger boy’s hole by brushing only his tip around the rim, and how he screamed for Zayn to go harder as he fucked Liam into the wall.
“Babe, are you even listening?” Perrie’s shrill voice brought Zayn back to earth.
“Uh, yeah, babe. Sorry. Just getting distracted by Liam…”
Liam’s head whipped towards Zayn’s direction, narrowing his eyes at the tan boy.
“Liam?” Perrie’s confused voice travelled through the speaker.
Zayn blushed at Liam’s stare and cleared his throat.
“Yeah, he was trying to tell me something. I think it’s about the concert tonight. Listen, babe, I’ll call you back, okay?”
Perrie’s “okay” could barely be heard before Zayn hung up the phone, just in time for Liam to straddle him and push him backwards. Zayn flushed at the suggestive position and tried to tame his semi that was forming quite aggressively. But of course, Liam could always tell when Zayn was hard, considering the fact that the only thing shielding Zayn’s private area was the thin sheet on the bed.
Not to mention Liam was still only in his towel.
“Distracted, hmm?” Liam hummed in Zayn’s ear, sending shivers of pleasure through the smaller boy’s spine.
Zayn couldn’t find the ability to speak as Liam started grinding subtly, only omitting small moans of pleasure as he bucked up his hips. Liam started kissing down Zayn’s neck towards his collarbone, sucking slightly to produce faint bruises, knowing that it will drive the boy crazy.
“What were you thinking about?” Liam murmured against Zayn’s finely shaped abs, nose brushing against his pecs.
“A-About last week, when—oh, god—you were begging for m-my dick,” Zayn moaned as Liam moved down to his now fully hard bulge, mouthing and kissing his balls.
Liam felt his own dick twitch at the memory of that night in Turin, his towel falling away as he clambered back up to nibble at Zayn’s bottom lip.
Zayn eventually pulled away from the passionate snog.
“I want you. Need you in me now.”
“We don’t have time though, Paul wants us to meet in his room in half an hour,” Liam sighed and frowned.
“Don’t care. Need something. Anything,” Zayn begged.
Liam then smirked and moved to grab the bottle of lube specifically for tour. He applied some onto his three fingers and hovered over Zayn again.
“Gonna make you come with just my fingers, yeah?” Liam breathed.
Zayn gulped and nodded quickly, and soon felt Liam’s pointer finger prod and enter his hole. He let out a whimper, followed by a groan. Liam grunted and wiggled his finger to get it deeper.
“M-More,” Zayn whined.
Liam obeyed and squeezed in a second finger, feeling Zayn’s muscle clench tightly around him. He groaned as he remembered how wonderfully tight Zayn’s arse was wrapped around his dick. Adjusting the angle, Liam brushed against a bundle of nerves, making Zayn yelp and arch his back, screaming “oh god, Liam!” Liam grinned at finding Zayn’s prostate, finally adding his third finger. He picked up his speed and pressed against the prostate at every thrust.
“T-Touch me. F-Fuck, touch me-e, p-please!” Zayn yelled. Thank god the walls are soundproof.
“Can only come by my fingers, Zayn,” Liam teased, adding more and more pressure against his prostate.
Zayn moaned loudly as he felt the waves of pleasure sending him into orgasm.
“Liam!” he yelled brokenly as he spurted his load all over his chest.
Removing his fingers, Liam leaned down and licked all of Zayn’s cum. Both boys were breathing heavily as they laid down together on the king-sized bed.
Zayn suddenly sat up and straddled Liam, kissing down his chest towards his penis.
“Your turn,” he whispered seductively, then started sucking at Liam’s balls.
Liam took a sharp intake of breath, groaning loudly as Zayn licked a fat stripe from the base to the tip. Zayn sucked at the tip, teasing Liam as he hollowed his cheeks.
“P-Please. More,” Liam moaned, feet twitching with excitement.
Zayn hummed against his dick, making Liam shudder, then taking as much of Liam as he could in one go. Zayn started bobbing his head, occasionally causing Liam’s tip to bump with the back of his throat. Liam curled his toes and clawed at the bed sheets as Zayn lightly dragged his teeth across the sensitive skin, yelling out his name in desperation.
With his mouth still full of Liam’s cock, Zayn whispered, “come for me.” And with that, Liam wailed and shot his load down Zayn’s throat. Zayn pulled off with a pop and licked his lips.
“We should get going,” he said hoarsely, a speechless Liam responding with a hasty nod.
They got dressed quietly and exited the room at different times, both secretly wishing that they could enter Paul’s room at the same time without suspicions. Nevertheless, Zayn came in two minutes later than Liam, all signs of morning sex and blowjobs clearly nonexistent.
***
Zayn was kind of shameless, as some people would say.
He knew he loved Liam. He was absolutely in love with Liam and he knew it. But he still stayed with Perrie. He was still an engaged man whenever he went to bed with Liam.
The guilt kills him, but the want and hope makes him stay exactly where he is. The more Zayn tried to be the perfect boyfriend for Perrie, the more he found Liam to be the perfect life partner for him. And he was so confused.
He remembered when he had proposed to Perrie and no one had knew.
*Flashback*
Liam barged in through that front door.
“What the fuck do you mean you’re engaged?”
Zayn whipped his head towards Liam in surprise, and felt his pants tighten at the sight of Liam’s angry face.
“L-Liam?”
He only stormed over and grabbed Zayn’s face, smashing their lips together in a fierce kiss. As their tongue explored each other’s mouths, their hands also travelled all over each other’s bodies. Soon enough, both boys were naked and rutting against each other, exchanging sloppy kisses and heavy breaths.
Zayn cried out in pain as Liam penetrated his non-prepped hole dry.
“FUCK!”
Liam only grunted and picked up his pace, making Zayn feel the burn and slight bleeding between his legs.
“Consider this your punishment.”
Zayn sobbed and nodded, whimpering as Liam flicked and pinched his nipples.
Liam soon found his prostate and pounded against it, leaving Zayn a screaming and choked-up mess.
“I-I’m g-gonna—“ Zayn wailed.
“No coming,” Liam spit harshly, snapping his hips sharper and faster.
Zayn stammered at the denial of relief, then whimpering in obedience as he held in his load. With Liam kept slamming into his prostate, Zayn wondered how he hasn’t lost control of his cum yet. His dick was now so hard it was starting to turn a dark shade of red.
“P-Please…” Zayn sobbed.
Liam pulled out so suddenly Zayn whined at the empty feeling. Liam kneeled before Zayn’s head and shoved his tip towards his lips.
“Open.”
Zayn obeyed and wrapped his lips around Liam’s dick.
“Suck.”
Zayn bore with Liam’s cock choking him, attempting to satisfy Liam by deep-throating him. Without warning, Liam released his cum down Zayn’s throat, then pulled out, letting Zayn catch his breath for a bit before flipping him over.
“Hands and knees,” he demanded.
Zayn crawled into position despite the soreness of his bum crack, sticking his arse just a little.
“Only come when I tell you to.”
Zayn nodded.
The first smack wasn’t light, especially so close to Zayn’s wrecked hole. Zayn cried out in pain and pleasure, burying his face into his pillow.
“Been such a bad boy.” Second smack.
“Not telling anyone.” Third smack.
“Did you even think this through?” Fourth.
“Do you even love her?” Fifth.
“You just keep—“ Sixth.
“—Crawling—“ Seventh.
“—Back—“ Eighth.
“—To—“ Ninth.
“—Me.” Tenth.
Staying quiet except for a few grunts this time, Liam delivered the same amount of spanks to the other cheek, Zayn sobbing so hard that his pillow was soaked with his tears.
Liam reached around to Zayn’s front, brushing his tip a few times, then moving his fingers to position above Zayn’s nipples.
“Come for me.”
Liam squeezed his nipples hard, and Zayn released with a loud scream of Liam’s name. His legs gave out and he collapsed onto the bed.
Liam pushed himself off the bed and exited the room. Staying silent, he reentered with a wet cloth and cleaned up Zayn’s bloodied arsehole, placing a soft kiss at the crack. He also applied some lotion for Zayn’s bum cheeks, massaging them softly with his palms. Liam then laid behind Zayn and wrapped his muscular arms around him. Soon, both boys’ soft breathing was the only sound that could be heard in the big room.
*Present*
After that, Zayn had confirmed that sex between them had too many emotions mixed in to be simply platonic, finally accepting that he had actually fallen in love with Liam months before he even proposed to Perrie when the whole thing had started.
To Zayn, it was never sex. Not even at the beginning. Zayn always thought of it as making love, no matter how harsh and rough their actions were. He had always hoped that Liam would feel the same way, but he knew not to get his hopes up because levelheaded Liam Payne just could not possibly be gay.
***
“You promised me you’d call every morning, Liam!”
He cringed at Sophia’s loud voice as he sat in tonight’s first concert outfit.
“Sorry, babe. I had a meeting early today and I slept late last night,” Liam replied, not being totally false, as he and Zayn did stay up quite late doing…things.
“I wish you would have texted me or something. I hate having to worry about you falling off the face of the earth and only knowing you’re okay by fans posting concert videos on YouTube.”
Liam understood Sophia’s need for concern, but lately he couldn’t help but feel tired of her attention, thinking that she was slightly clingy and annoying. He couldn’t understand these feelings because Sophia was such a sweet and beautiful girl, but the spark just disappeared. But while it wasn’t present between the two of them, it could be found whenever Zayn was around. That was the fact that Liam was most confused by.
“I’m sorry, I’ll try and call more,” Liam replied, knowing that it was just an empty promise.
“Okay, babe. I love you.”
“Love you too, Z—Sophia!” Liam quickly avoided the slip up.
Fortunately, Sophia had not heard and had already hung up the phone.
Well, shit.
Liam paced around one of the bathrooms in the arena, which was the only place where no one could see or bother him.
He couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call. He almost said he loved Zayn. Did he? The sex was always just sex. It never occurred to him that it became something more. He was even more confused when a thought crossed his mind: did he want something more? Does Zayn want something more?
He remembered the jealousy and betrayal he felt when Zayn announced his engagement to Perrie half a year ago. He had fucked Zayn until he was sobbing, and he was so proud of himself because he’s the only one who can leave Zayn speechless and begging for it.
Zayn looked so pretty that night, with tears running down his perfectly sculpted cheekbones. His lips parted, eyelids half-opened in pleasure. His head was slightly tilted back because he couldn’t help but arch his back every time Liam pounded into him. His hair was slightly ruffled due to the friction between his head and the pillow. Liam remembered Zayn’s biceps clenching and unclenching as he grasped the bed sheets, also his thighs stiffening whenever his toes curled with satisfaction. He remembers Zayn’s perfect and round bum that seemed to give off a slight shine after their long spanking. Liam definitely remembered his swollen lips that were wrapped around his cock; the soft choked sounds from his throat as Liam thrusted a bit too deep; his glazed-over eyes as he looked up at Liam with some cum still dribbling from the corner of his mouth.
Okay, so Liam was definitely in love with Zayn.
***
“Has anyone seen Liam?”
Zayn lifted his head up at the sound of his name.
“Why? What? Liam’s not here? Where is he?” he spewed out his questions all at once.
Louis, who had spoke up in the first place, looked at him weirdly, but quickly disregarded it.
“Can’t find him anywhere,” he shrugged.
“Well, we have to find him,” Zayn protested.
“It’s Liam. He’ll know where to go,” Harry cut in, without even looking up from his bright phone screen.
“But what if he’s lost, or got kidnapped. I mean, what if some really messed up guy with a gun got in and saw him. Oh god, now I’m freaking out,” Zayn rambled.
Niall only laughed and pointed at the dressing room door.
“Hey Payno,” he chuckled.
“Who has a gun?”
Zayn turned around at the sound of his unrequited lover’s voice. His grin was so wide his face could have split in half.
“Thank god, Liam!”
Zayn surprised Liam with a tight hug of relief. And of course, Louis had to ruin any cheesy moment between them.
“Payno isn’t your husband returning from war, geez. Calm the fuck down.”
Zayn tensed, causing Liam to look down at him in concern, but not before shooting Louis a dirty glare. Zayn coughed and released the taller lad, taking two steps backwards.
“I’m gonna…just…yeah,” Zayn murmured, then exited the dressing room.
Liam made to follow after him, but turned back around and glared at Louis once more.
“Great job.”
***
It was after their concert in Porto. Zayn was lying on his back in his own hotel room, suddenly feeling too small for the king-sized bed. He couldn’t sleep. He never could when Liam didn’t come over to his room. It’s funny how he’s actually more exhausted when Liam wasn’t there.
He was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed a body slip into bed with him until a hand suddenly cupped his bulge. Zayn didn’t even have to look to know who it was.
He moaned as Liam started massaging his dick, and slipped a hand into the other boy’s boxers—oh, briefs—and taking his cock out. Rolling over, Zayn straddled Liam’s hips, sliding down his (Batman) briefs. Then he got up and pushed his sweatpants down, the clothing pooling at his feet.
“Sh-Shit. Did you—are you—you’re commando?” Liam sputtered at the sight of Zayn’s dick springing free.
Zayn smirked seductively and laid back down with his feet flat on the bed. He then patted his dick, signaling for Liam to straddle him in return. The younger boy scrambled to sit on the older lad’s crotch a bit too quickly, making him hiss in surprise. Zayn leaned forward to whisper in Liam’s ear.
“I’m in charge tonight. Loosen yourself up for me, baby.”
Liam blushed and leaned backwards, bringing his hand to his mouth, slicking his fingers with his own saliva. Zayn never let him use lube to finger himself anyway. Soon enough, all three fingers were buried deep into Liam’s arse, soft whimpers exiting the boy’s mouth as he brushed over his own prostate.
“Enough,” Zayn snapped, almost going crazy at the sight of Liam pleasuring himself.
He grabbed Liam’s thighs and held the boy above his perked-up cock.
“Slowly, baby,” Zayn warned.
However, Liam was too impatient, bottoming out almost immediately, groaning at the feeling of Zayn’s large member. After getting comfortable with Zayn inside him, Liam started to grind back and forth, as well as figure eights, teasing the older boy to no end. Grumbling, Zayn’s hands shot out, stopping Liam’s miraculous hips, bucking upwards harshly as a warning. Groaning, Liam started to bounce on Zayn’s lap, creating soft slaps that rang through the dark room. Liam leaned forward, changing the angle of Zayn’s upward thrusts. He almost collapsed at the feeling of Zayn’s tip nudging his prostate, lowering himself to his elbows to balance himself. Feeling that Liam’s legs are getting exhausted, Zayn thrusted harder so that the younger boy only bounced limply in his lap.
“I-I need to—gonna—p-please—oh, Z-Zayn—“
The two boys engaged in a sloppy snog, Zayn’s hand snaking between them to quickly jerk Liam off. They both came at the same time, Liam’s orgasm hitting so hard that some of his cum got onto the boys’ faces. They laid there for a while, catching their breaths. Zayn lifted Liam off of his lap, and then laid down on the bed next to him.
“God, I love you,” Liam murmured without thinking, eyes widening at his declaration.
“I love you too,” Zayn replied subconsciously, realizing a second after that he wasn’t really supposed to say that.
“You what?”
Both were shocked at the revelation of each other’s feelings, also panicked at the fact that both their girlfriend/fiancé were waiting at home.
“You love me?” Zayn whispered.
Liam gulped but nodded. He couldn’t deny the truth, and he would never ever lie to Zayn.
“I love you too,” Zayn smiled as he admitted his feelings.
Liam felt like crying, both out of joy and confusion. He loved Zayn so much that it actually hurts to have to think about going back home and having to kiss Sophia like he used to.
Zayn felt the same. He wanted so much to stay with Liam forever, but he knew that his forever was resting on Perrie’s finger back in London. His heart broke knowing that he could have everything he ever wanted, but it was just a bit too late.
“So what do we do about this? Do we continue with our affair—“ Zayn winced at Liam’s choice of words “—or do we break it off with our girlfriends? Well, fiancé.”
Zayn sighed, feeling the weight and pressure of the situation crushing him.
“I don’t know. I mean, I want so bad to be with you. But what do I tell Perrie? How am I supposed to break her heart by breaking the promise of my eternal love?” Zayn questioned with tears welling up his eyes, more towards himself than Liam.
“Well, you already can’t assure your eternal love to her if your heart lies with me. And I would never be able to look at Sophia ever again knowing that my heart belongs to you,” Liam admitted, wrapping an arm around Zayn’s waist to comfort him.
“So I guess I have to call it off with Perrie,” Zayn sighed.
Liam nodded.
“And I’ll end it with Sophia.”
***
“I don’t understand,” Perrie sobbed through the phone.
“I can’t marry you. Not when…” Zayn replied with a shaky breath, hesitating with what he was about to reveal.
“When what? When you love someone else? Is that it? I’m not good enough for you,” she laughed harshly, “who is she then?”
“He’s…”
“He? What, you’re gay now?” Perrie questioned, angry and insulted.
“I am, for him. Just for him,” Zayn murmured, love evident in his voice as his thoughts wandered to his puppy-like lover.
Perrie was quiet.
“I’m so sorry, Perrie. I should have broken it off when I first started getting feelings for him. But I thought that it was just some weird phase I was going through and that it would pass, but it didn’t. It only got stronger and I couldn’t deny or resist it anymore,” Zayn sobbed through the receiver.
“Were you in love with him when you proposed to me?” she asked quietly.
“I think I was, but I only realized it when he confronted me after I told him I was engaged,” Zayn replied truthfully.
It was silent for a while.
“So you love Liam then?”
“Yeah, I—wait, how did you know?” Zayn asked, shocked at her accurate assumption.
“You look at him the way you used to look at me,” Perrie replied through her tears.
Zayn only cried harder.
“I’m so sorry, Perrie. I do love you, I do. But just not that way anymore.”
“I know, Zayn. You’re happy with him. You deserve happiness,” Perrie assured him softly.
“Keep the ring, Perrie. Just remember that I loved you so much, and I hope that you find your happiness as well.”
“I will, Zayn. Bye,” she said softly.
“Goodbye, Perrie.”
***
“Wow. Never thought you’d be a cheater, Liam Payne,” Sophia spat harshly.
“I never thought that I would start developing feelings for him, I’m sorry,” Liam pleaded, not realizing the mistake in his words.
“I’m sorry? Did you say him? What the fuck, did I actually turn you gay? Is that how bad I am?” she yelled louder with every question.
“No! No, you didn’t turn me gay, Sophia. Trust me, you are the most perfect girl anyone could ever have, but it turns out I’m not looking for a girl. You are nice, kind and absolutely beautiful. You were the best girlfriend I ever had, but I can’t deny the fact that I fell hard for…this boy,” Liam explained.
“So you, like, truly love him? We haven’t even said that to each other,” Sophia said quietly.
“I know, and I’m sorry. But with him, I feel this spark that just, ignites me, you know? And I used to feel that with you, but not anymore. I’m so sorry, but I’ve accepted the fact that I feel alive when I’m with Zayn. It’s just, he understands me like no one else. He knows exactly how I like things done; he knows exactly what I’m feeling at almost every moment; he just knows everything about me. I have never gotten along so well with someone before, mentally and physically. I will admit that I had sex with him…a lot, but I just got addicted to how he always made me feel around him.”
Sophia was silent for a very long time.
“I guess the harm isn’t as bad as it could be. I’m just glad we broke it off early. Imagine what Perrie would feel,” Sophia sympathized.
“Wait, so we’re okay? No hard feelings? Well, at least not much.”
“It’s okay. He’s giving you something that I could never give you, and that’s love and passion. To be honest, I have always felt so weird, because you’re so sweet and perfect, but I just couldn’t bring myself to love you. So yeah, it’s okay. We wouldn’t have been a really smooth couple anyway,” she reassured him.
“Oh thank god. Well, all I can do is wish you good luck with meeting the love of your life then,” Liam smiled into the receiver.
“Yeah, best of luck with Zayn, too.”
“Goodbye, Sophia,” Liam said softly.
“Bye.”
***
“So glad you’re all mine now,” Liam moaned onto Zayn’s inner thigh, leaving warm puffs of air near his hole.
Zayn was squirming and writhing on his hands and knees under Liam’s breath, knowing what was coming next. Liam stuck his tongue out and kitten-licked a trail from Zayn’s ball sack to his puckered hole.
“God, Liam!” Zayn moaned.
Liam hummed, sending pleasuring vibrations through Zayn’s body, then plunging his tongue up his hole. All Zayn could do was whine and bury his face in the pillow. Liam’s hands tightened around Zayn’s thighs, burying his face further into the smaller boy’s arse, his chin knocking against Zayn’s balls. Zayn’s hands gripped the headboard even tighter, so that his knuckles were turning white. Liam started to flick his tongue, licking and prodding at Zayn’s prostate. Zayn muffled his moans and wails through the pillow, pushing his arse back at the pleasure. Liam’s nails dug even deeper into Zayn’s thigh, most likely leaving bruise marks.
Suddenly, Zayn came with a yelp, dirtying the sheets. Liam pulled out surprised, ignoring his lover’s whine of emptiness.
“Did you just come? Just from my tongue?” Liam asked in awe.
Zayn blushed and hid his face further into the pillow.
“…And nails…” he mumbled.
Liam laughed, disregarding his own need for release. Zayn turned around and pushed his boyfriend backwards, then lying on top of him.
“Stop laughing at me! It was hot and a little kinky!” Zayn defended, nuzzling his nose into Liam’s chest.
“Okay, okay. I won’t laugh. But now you’ve got to help me with my problem,” Liam smirked, motioning at his still-hard dick.
“With pleasure.”
Zayn wriggled down, avoiding his own puddle of come, and started to lick at the head of Liam’s cock. Liam didn’t even bother to hold back his moans, yelling Zayn’s name at the top of his lungs whenever he would suck extra hard, especially at his balls. Zayn was dragging his finger along the underside of Liam’s dick, when suddenly he released his load.
Zayn looked back up at his lover, a look of shock and amusement. Liam blushed.
“Your nails. It felt…tingly and…nice,” he stuttered in response and explanation.
Zayn burst into laughter.
“I guess now we know our kink is long nails!” he grinned.
Liam removed the cum-covered sheets and pounced on his naked boyfriend.
“Well now that we’ve established that, stop laughing at me!”
They wrestled around for a bit, giggling and laughing at each other. Eventually they plopped down on the bed facing each other. Zayn pulled Liam in for a short but sweet kiss, then snuggling into the larger boy’s arms.
“I love you,” Zayn murmured against his lover’s chest with a loving smile on his face.
“I love you too,” Liam mumbled against his lover’s hair with an adoring tone in his voice.
And they fell asleep with their bodies and hearts intertwined.