Work Text:
(Not) For my whole life
For some months now I have been obsessed with the TV show suits. I love it to pieces. And of course I had to borrow the brilliant characters (who aren't mine) for a little fic I hope you'll all enjoy!
I wrote this without a betas´ aid and english is not my mother tongue. Pleas keep that in mind while rolling your eyes over misspells and the like! ;) With that said: have fun!
Harvey Spector has never been ashamed to admit, that there have been a few men here and there in-between the seemingly endless row of women who walked in and out of his bedroom. More in college than later on, but if someone is good-looking he can appreciate that regardless of the gender. Sometimes he wanted a little diversity and other times a handsome guy would steal his attention without him having it planed beforehand. He did not question this attraction, he was too confident and secure in his personality to question himself over such petty details.
Therefore Mike Ross being a man was not the issue. It wasn't his looks, either. He was a very good-looking guy, in this naive, skinny-ass puppy way of his.
He had a nice, slim body with lean muscle and fine bone structure. Pricing blue eyes in a more than simply pleasant face. He would definitely be someone Harvey would be interested in taking home if he had met him in a bar or the like.
It wasn't the undeniable fact that he was his co-worker, his associate even. Granted, working with someone you had hooked up with could result in pure awkwardness. But it could also go just fine, something that happened and would be left behind when the sun rose again. Not sleeping with coworkers was not a rule of his like not sleeping with married people was. And no, that farce of a relationship the young genius had with Rachel or this childhood friend of his did not count. Honestly, they weren't even on and off because Harvey had seen relationships that were more „on“ during an „off“-phase than theirs was during its maximum.
And Harvey was not blind, in denial or generally oblivious to what happened around him. He did feel the blue eyes of his protégée linger on his form when the other thought no one was around to notice. He could hear the hitch in his breath when they came into close contact with each other, for example when Harvey would leaned over him to read from the same screen. He did not miss that Mike would initiate contact on his own once he had a drink or two. How eager he was to please him, no matter what the cost or the means. Like a puppy, really.
So why did he not take him on his silent offer?
Because this was Mike Ross.`Brilliant, naive and much too emotional for his own good´ Mike Ross.
Maybe he was just having a major crush on his boss, the man who offered him everything he had ever dared to dream off on a silver tablet, the seemingly perfect and always suave mentor he had glorified in his incredible mind. But this crush would turn into something much more solid the moment Harvey would offer him so much as his little finger. Mike would try to grab everything and would throw all of himself on the line in return. It could never be just a night with Mike, the kid would get emotionally attached in a seconds breath and would face a major disappointment and heartbreak as soon as he realized that it would not be anything but a really nice night for Harvey. That would destroy everything they had, ruin their working relationship for good and leave the layer without the best associate he could have never hoped for.
Because while Harvey never denied himself to enjoy a mans company- when he tried to imagine his future he never pictured a man at his side. When he though about settling down he had never held a doubt that he would do so with a woman. Marry her, maybe not the kids part, but a house outside the city and a dog would be nice- all in a few more years, of course. It had nothing to do with tradition or wanting for something the larger mass would consider „normal“ (The larger mass of people were idiots and therefor not something he had to consider while making decisions for himself) It was just they way it was, period. He did not want to spent his whole life with a man.
At least that´s what he told himself in order to resist the urge to grab that ridiculous skinny tie and pull Mike flush against his chest. When he wanted to smack him against the glass wall of his office and snog the breath out of his lungs for everyone to see. There had been times when he had wanted to throw caution in the wind, when a still little but increasingly louder part of his brain had nearly convinced him that he wanted to claim the younger man all for himself, tell the paralegal to get lost, because Mike was his alone.
That, of course, was ridiculous, cause he did not want Mike. Not for ever, not for a lasting relationship.
Rubbing his face Harvey let a groan slip past his lips. Why was he even thinking all of this? Why could the puppy not finally leave for the weekend? Harvey wanted to have him out of his system, maybe find some woman (or man) to help him chase the blond out of his thoughts.
Sadly he was currently tied to his chair because he did not want to leave before his associate, could not. Pitiful, that was what it was. When he was true to himself he had to admit, that Mike wouldn't be a quick rump for him either. If he had Mike he would want to devour him. To discover all that was still hidden from his eyes, to finally figure the other out. He was so possessive over him already, he couldn't stand the sight of anyone else picking up the piece he would leave behind. He did not want the man to spatter into pieces in the first place.
He wanted to make Mike smile. To be admired by him. Wanted his trust and loyalty, his friendship that came so easy without Harvey having ever asked for it. He fucking cared.
Mike could be a brilliant fit for him, could be something big and Harvey did not want him to. This was not how he had ever wanted it to be.
Stupid pot-selling puppy with his stupid pull…
And because it was one of those days just then a polite knock on the glass wall of his office interrupted his thoughts.
Looking up he spotted Mike, some documents stashed under his arm and a huge grin on his face. Most likely he had found an other hole in some contract that would help Harvey make an other million for Person Hardmann. Like he cared about that right now…
Throwing an accusing look at his secretary Donna- who only offered a innocent who-me? expression in return- he gestured for Mike to enter. As soon as his foot crossed over the doorstep he started chatting his boss up, loosing himself in some elaborate story that mostly revealed about how awesome he was and how him caring had led him to the answer they had searched for.
Confidence was very attractive on him. As was his broad smile and the tailored dark blue Burberry suit.
Harvey resisted the urge to smack himself with a ruler. How that would make him look in office gossip was not something he wanted to experience first hand. Louis was certain he was losing it since he had caught him telling his reflection in a spoon to stop checking out the labels on Mikes pants. Because the label was totally what he was looking at in the first place…
Oh, wait, he had missed the point where he was supposed to answer right now, hadn't he? Big expecting eyes stared into his. Yup, definitely his turn. Clearing his throat and positioning himself in a more comfortable manner he searched his brain for bits of Mikes monologue he had picked up while spacing out. „Yes, well done, Mike. Great work.“ Not very creative but sure ass hell fitting. And the goofy grin he was rewarded with made a part of him very happy in return.Mike raised his hand and wiggled his eyebrows expectingly. Making a show of rolling his eyes and looking around to make sure no one was watching he raised his, too. But instead of just giving the ordinary high-five he caught Mikes hand in midair and held on. A stunned note sneaked in his associates eyes. Also wonder and a little bit of hope. It wasn't until he took a closer look that Harvey could name the other thing as desire.
That was when he let go like he had burned himself. He did not want to lead the other on, did not want to make the impression that anything could ever happen between them.
„Harvey…“, the young genius started, but the layer wouldn't have any of it. With a quick movement of his hand he silenced Mike.
„Its quiet late already, don't you think? You did great work today, you should go home“
„Harvey, just now…“
„Go home, Mike.“ Huffing in annoyance Mike shook his head. But he turned around non the less, chin lifted and shoulders stiff. This time Harvey forced himself to not let his gaze linger on that ass. He did not want Mike. He did not want what he had been offered. A burning feeling his his gut, paired with longing stuck him with the full force of surprise.
That was new. Not the desire that was burring under his nails for what seemed like months now, but the pain it cause him to lie to himself.
It was not a day later that he knocked on the wooden door in that blasted neighborhood he loathed to even set a foot in. It was several days, weeks, months even. Three months. Three too long months of watching, wanting and telling himself it was just sexual attraction.
In the end he had been frustrated enough to not even flirt back when a gorgers blond client had all but throw herself at him after he had settled her model contract. Donna had laughter at his face afterwards. She even had the nerve to ask, wether he liked his models blue-eyed and with skinny ties around their necks these days. Not even the fiasco with Scotty had ever left him feeling this itchy and unnerved. It was staring to influence his work.
The worst thing that he could have imagined, one of the strongest arguments he had used to talk himself out of bedding Mike. Knocking again for good measure and to stifle his impatience Harvey listened to the footsteps that now came his direction. They stopped for a second in front of the door, most likely to check who was interrupting him in the middle of the night. Then the chain was removed and the door swung open to reveal a sleepy looking Mike. His hair even more dissolved than usual, loose fitting sweatpants low on his hips and a black Tee that wasn't long enough to cover up the stripe of bare skin on his hip that Harvey itched to run his palms over. He looked a little awestruck too see his boss. In the middle of the night. In front of his door.
„Harvey“, his name sounded good, coming form those full lips, Harvey decided. Do you want something? Hung silently between them. And god, yes, Harvey did want something. He couldn't think of anything else since he had spotted that damn hikey on Mikes neck his afternoon when the younger man had loosened his collar while sorting trough a load of case files. Since he had seen Rachel stalk around the office with that huge smile on her lips that made her look really good but Harvey loathed. Because he knew too well how he had to connect the two things.
„Do you still want me?“ Mike actually moved a step back, his eyes unbelieving and nearly twice their usual size. The question had caught him completely unprepared. Harvey could see the different emotions flicker behind his skull. He was positive he knew some of them. Mike was trying to figure out what to make of Harvey's question (offer) and how to react. It sure must suck to finally get what he had wanted when he had just moved on. Harvey loathed himself for being this cliche, but with Mike he couldn't help himself. Just like Mike couldn't help himself with Harvey. They fit too well. Once their inner walls were brought down there wasn't a thing that could hold them down. Not a girlfriend-to-be, not stupid expectations at ones own future.
Harvey was not surprised by how in-sink they were when they both moved at the same moment, met each other half way in a desperate, messy kiss that contained bottled desire from years of longing. Harvey griped Mikes waist, let his thumb skip over smooth skin while Mike fisted his collar, holding on desperately.
Together they moved inside, ties loosening and buttons coming undone while Harvey all but ripped the tee off his young colleague. He bit down on a sharp collarbone and was rewarded with a guttural moan that sent his own libido into hyperdrive. With a little more force than need he pushed Mike down on the others bed while toeing off his expensive leather shoes. He did not care to track the way that his shirt and jacket had taken when quick hands had pushed them down his shoulders. The way Mike now lay in front of him, desire lighting up his face and sending an exited flush down his sculptured chest. He had never seen anything as delicious. And it was all his to take.
Grinning like the predator he was at hearth, he moved in, getting rid of his belt and opening the button of his pants. Making it slow all the while to give his new found lover time to fully enjoy the view. And Mike was. Licking his lips and arching his lean back while moving his own hands down his sides. God, if the kid only knew what he did to him…
„I will take you. And afterwards you will me mine and spoiled for everyone else.“ Although Harvey had only been half mocking Mike laughed delighted and then smirked while getting up to meet his boss in an open mouthed kiss that left them both panting.
„Believe it or not, but thats exactly what I was aiming at. And now shut up and show me“, a meddlesome hand moved down to cup Harvey´s erection and he growled. Oh, he would show the brat. And when he was finished with him no one would not be able to tell which blasted hickey wasn't his. He would mark his boy up and make sure that no one would touch what was his ever again…
You see, the funny thing with making plans for your life is, that they are all well and good until you meet someone who is worth thinking it all over. Who runs into your life and makes it stand upside down.
Harvey still can't imagine himself spending the rest of his life with some man. But as they lay in their shared bed, too lazy to get up, it has bee five years since that first night.
And he can´t imagine to ever let this go either.
The end