POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)

I try to do everything I can to make my divorce experience positive. Most of the time, I am successful. It is always my intention to be positive about the divorce, even though, it is a divorce I did not choose or want. Remaining positive with the kids is the only option. They are not responsible for our happiness as adults of divorce. They are too young to be involved in the decision to divorce. So, it is my hope that my positivism rubs off on them in the long run.

Positive Divorce is a choice, a lifestyle, a decision to always present a happy face even in trying times. This is not to deny the depression that might accompany an unwanted divorce, but it is modeling strength for your kids as they are also learning to cope with the loss of their happy family dreams. Here’s the plan.

1. Be positive.
2. Work out your sadness somewhere else.
3. Give 100% respect and love to your other parent.

Here are the positive divorce posts in chronological order.

• START HERE: Transformational Divorce
• Attachment Parenting Benefits Begin To Fracture After Divorce
• How Divorce Is Killing Men and Marriage In General
• Encouragements Along the Divorce Path: You and Your Kids Are Fine
• Is Divorce the Best Decision for You? What About Your Kids?
• What I Want My Kids to Know About Our Divorce 12 Years Later
• My Triad of Destruction and Rebirth #dad #divorce #depression
• Dads That Don’t Give Up After Divorce
• Why Do Ex-Wives Feel Entitled? And Ex-Husbands Feel Victimized?
• Moving from Parenting To Co-parenting: Joining Together In Divorce
• The Double-edged Sword of Divorce: Happier But Alone
• Dear Ex, We Are Different By Design
• Embracing the Win in My 12-years As a Single Dad
• Father’s Day After Divorce
• Divorce Survival Kit: Keep Moving Forward, Stay Positive
• The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad
• Dads vs. Moms: We’re All #Parents or #SingleParents
• 10 Positive Thoughts for You About Your Upcoming Divorce
• Reflecting on the 10 Years as a Whole Parent: 50/50 Shared Parenting Vision
• My Triad of Destruction and Rebirth #dad #divorce #depression
• Mindful Parenting – Returns and Love In the New School Year for Parents and Kids
• Dads That Don’t Give Up After Divorce
• Why Do Ex-Wives Feel Entitled? And Ex-Husbands Feel Victimized?
• Parenting Well: We Are All Somewhat Childlike Acting Like Adults
• Fathers and Sons: Reaching For Love
• Moving from Parenting To Co-parenting: Joining Together In Divorce
• The Double-edged Sword of Divorce: Happier But Alone
• Dear Ex, We Are Different By Design
• Embracing the Win in My 12-years As a Single Dad
• Father’s Day After Divorce
• Divorce Survival Kit: Keep Moving Forward, Stay Positive
• The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad
• Dad vs. Moms: We’re All #Parents or #SingleParents
• End of Divorce: Kids Out of House But Ex-Wife Still Playing Games
• Dear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did
• Falling Out of The Loop As a Single Parent
• Single Mom Syndrome: Meeting Your Needs Through Your Kids
• The Single Dad Afterglow: I Lost My Kids In the Divorce
• I Almost Didn’t Make It: A Crushing Depression Following Divorce
• A Healthy Co-Parenting Plan: Hope for the Recently Divorced Parent
• The Displaced Dad: How the Typical Divorce Is Killing Dads
• Sexual Freedom After Divorce: Dating a Single Parent
• A Tale of Two Divorce Blogs: How the Off Parent Became Whole
• Ferris Bueller Gets a Divorce: A TV Series That’s a Bit Off
• Burning Down the House of Love and Hope
• The 1/3 Parent: How Your State’s Family Law Is Harming Your Kids
• The Divorce Equation: Please Consider the Lawyer’s *Proposal*
• How the Whole Parent Got His Groove Back After Divorce
• A Single Dad In Love, Again
• As a Single Parent: Love Fiercely, Because This All Ends
• A Quick-Start Guide for the Divorcing Dad: The Off Times
• Present Tense: Co-Parenting Disconnected
• My Transformational Divorce: The 4 Stages of Divorce Recovery
• Divorce Recovery: How Long Must We Stick to the Lie?
• I Am Not the Problem in the Co-parenting Relationship, We Are
• Would You Damage Your Co-Parent’s Livelihood If You Could?
• The Optimistic Lover Lets Go of The Mother of His Dragons
• Why Some Fathers Give Up After Divorce
• Understanding Anger: From My Dad >> Me >> My Ex-Wife >> My Kids
• Happy Dad, Sad Dad, Angry Dad: Recapping The Whole Parent in 2021
• When “In the Best Interest of the Children” is Weaponized
• In All Cases Be Kind, Unless You Can’t Then Be Assertive
• Finding My Own Way Alone: “I’m Still Lost and Running”
• Fathers and Daughters: Lessons in Loving Someone
• Dealing with Depression After Divorce*
• Understanding My Co-parent’s Malfunction: My Easy Indifference
• Inviting the Dinosaur In: Weaponizing Child Support
• What Do We Learn When Things Fall Apart?
• Dear Custodial Parent: We Are All Still Together After Divorce
• Porcupine Mode: Expressing Dissatisfaction In Your Relationship
• In All Cases Be Kind, Unless You Can’t Then Be Assertive
• Reflecting On My Ex-wife’s Rage Nine Years After the Divorce She Wanted
• The Double-edged Sword of Divorce: Happier But Alone
• Parenting After Divorce Offers Fresh Challenges: FAYR – Has Solutions
• Missplaning Divorce: How Women Benefit In an Imbalanced Divorce
• My Single Parent Slogan: Every Day At a Time
• A Real Man in Divorce: How My Ex-wife’s New Husband Stirs Up Discord
• Fathers and Daughters: Divorce Affects Us Differently
• Marriage Story Review: Reckoning with the Blowback
• “When Are You Going to Get Over Your Divorce?” Is the Wrong Question
• The Loss of Kid-time Has Been the Biggest Source of Pain in My Life
• The Divorce Gender Bias: Men Need to Be Considered Equally in Divorce
• What Kills Marriages? Top Five Fails According to a Divorce Attorney
• How Men Carry the Emotional Load of Parenting Differently Than Women
• Always Being the Better Man: Dads In Divorce Leading with Love
• Divorce Zero: How the Pre-Natal Agreement Was Born
• The Breakfast King: All the Family Mornings Lost After Divorce
• Why Does So Much Anger Flare When I Write About Child Support?
• Does Online Dating Suck, Or is it Us? What Are You Hoping to Find?
• The Inner Life of Your Kid: Navigating Our Own Rainy Fridays
• Dads Will Love You In a Way No One Else Can
• Our Response to Someone Else is 100% Up to Us: Choose the Positive
• The Struggle is Real: Dads Headed for Divorce Must Fight for the Kids
• Six Masterclass Lessons on Divorce: Finding a Light After the Loss
• I Did Not See the Biggest Red Flag of My Life: Start Marriage w/ a Lie
• The Narrative After Divorce: What Your Kids Will Never Know
• Dads Are Equal Parents, But Only If They Step Up to the Challenge
• The Art of Indifference After Divorce: Letting Go With Intention
• Divorce in America – The Infographic
• Mom’s Entitlement After Divorce: Understanding Parental Alienation
• What If Things Had Gone Different In My Marriage and In My Divorce
• Finding Joy as a Single Parent During the Holidays: Our Celebration
• The First Holiday Season As a Single Dad: Stepping Into the Void
• A Fractured Family Christmas: One Single-parent’s Anti-Depression Plan
• Reflecting On My Ex-wife’s Rage Nine Years After the Divorce She Wanted
• The Approaching Storm Before the Divorce: It Wasn’t One Thing
• A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce – Book Release
• What Makes a Great Dad? 5 Things I Learned From My Divorce
• The War on Divorcing Fathers: Deadbeat Dad Accusations Are Abusive
• Fear of Being Alone, Again – Humans of Divorce
• Closure with Your Ex After Divorce: Setting Up Healthy Boundaries
• The Struggles and Fears About Divorce: Humans of Divorce
• We Do the Walk of Life
• We Do The Best We Can and Still We Fail: A Marriage Requiem
• I Wish You Well, and Absolutely Nothing Else: Re-forgiving a Co-parent
• Next-Level Parenting: Being Awesome Even in Divorce
• The Four Simple Rules for Dads Getting Divorced
• Men and Divorce with Children: My 9-year Retrospective
• Letting Go of Dreams Update – Celebrating The Whole Parent Year Six
• Finding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce
• Taking the Long Way Home: My Divorce Journey Back to Joy
• Fall Arrives: Pulling Back the Curtain on The Off Parent
• Top 4 Complaints from Married Men and How to Address Them
• My Porcupine Period: Expressing Dissatisfaction In My Marriage
• 10 Positive Thoughts for You About Your Upcoming Divorce
• A Single Dad Sends His Hope and Greetings from the Other Side
• What Dads Fear Most About Divorce
• 80% of Single Moms Will Never Understand a Single Dad’s Struggle
• Her Aspirational Divorce: Seeking a Better Life for Your Kids
• Healing My Divorce Resentment: A Single Dad Contemplates the Future
• Reaching a Moment of Peace and Happiness As a Single Dad
• Dad’s Divorce Journey: 9-years Later I Still Feel the Loss of Kid-time
• Fool In The Rain: A Brief Retelling of My Divorce and Rebirth
• Loss, Sadness, and Indifference: Struggles of a Single Dad
• Missplaning Divorce: How Women Benefit In an Imbalanced Divorce
• My Single Parent Slogan: Every Day At a Time
• How Did I Miss So Much In My Marriage? Divorced, I Now Understand.
• Why Divorcing Always Mom’s Deserve Child Support
• Defining the Deadbeat Mom
• Divorce, Depression, and My Ex-wife: Humans of Divorce
• Nine Years Into My Divorce: Finding My Single Parenting Superpower
• Father’s Day: Love Fiercely, Because This All Ends
• Deadbeat… < What’s the First Word That Came to Mind?
• Humans of Divorce: Why Child Support Should Be Cooperative
• Dear Ex, I Will Forgive You, But I Will Never Forget What You Did
• Single Dad Survival Guide: “Dear Step-Dad” Let’s Cooperate
• I’ve Had Enough: My Ex-wife Pushes for Gold Again
• Why Father’s Day Sucks and Mother’s Day Rocks: Single Dad Stories
• The Last Battle of My Divorce: Teenaged Children in the Crossfire
• You’re a Hard Act to Follow: Breakups, Divorces, & Learning to Move On
• The Big Lies My Wife Told and Our Divorced Parenting Relationship
• The Emotional Cost of Divorce is High for Everyone
• Single Dad Writes to his 16-year-old Daughter About the Divorce
• Experience, Strength, and Hope After a Divorce with Kids
• What Do You Tell Your Kids About Divorce As They Grow Older?
• The Odyssey of the Single Father: Kids Change Everything
• Single Father Manifesto: I’ll Never Stop Pursuing You
• The Divorce Brochure for Dads: How Does This Sound to You?
• The Prayer for All Single Parents (downloadable)
• The Low-Conflict Divorce Hustle: What You Don’t Know Will Hurt You
• What I Imagined About the Coming Divorce: The Loss Was Worse
• Self-Care and Fitness: How You Treat Yourself Says More than You Think
• Empty Nest Syndrome: How a Typical Divorce Affects Fathers Differently
• The Divorce Brochure: How Mom Plays the Game of Divorce
• Standing Strong Together: Boundaries and Relationships in the #METOO Era
• Becoming a Single Co-parent by Releasing Your Ex
• What Went Down: Divorce is Not Kind. Co-parenting is a Myth.
• Co-parenting Struggles: Withholding the Joy of Your Kids
• Dads: When Family Courts Start at 70 – 30 Custody, the Kids Lose
• My Ex-Wife May Think I’m the Enemy, But She’s Misguided
• The Long Retelling of My Divorce
• The Positive Divorce – Whole Parent 2018 Update
• Would You Damage Your Co-Parent’s Livelihood If You Could?
• Going Meta: Divorce, Depression, and Befriending Sadness
• Do You Know the DNA of Your Perfect Day?
• The Divorce Whisperer
• What I Need To Tell You: Take Heart After Divorce. It Gets Better.
• Your Kids Are Watching How You Cope with Divorce
• Field Notes for My Next Marriage (What To Remember Before Getting Married)
• How a Balanced Divorce Might Have Better Served My Children
• Sex Without Desire Is More Like Porn Than Lovemaking
• Parenting Lesson: Always Consider Lightening Your Kid’s Load
• The Blurry Lines Between Divorced Parents: Entitlement & Narcissism
• Divorce, Kids, and Money
• One Man’s Courage to Stand Alone: Brené Brown’s BRAVING
• Passive-Aggressive Miscommunication: Do You Want a Drink?
• Why Adding Cocktails to Your Emotional Mix Might Not Be Working
• Letting Go of Those We Love
• Co-Parenting Problems and Healing Strategies
• Back to the Beginning: Co-Parenting with Serenity
• Dad’s Divorce: Being Asked to Leave Everything Behind
• Displacement: A Single-Parenting Love Story
• Grief is Underneath: A Divorce Fable
• Life of Dad – Talks to John About Single-Parenting and Dating Again
• Divorce Lessons: Thanks for the Jetpack, Where’s the Fuel?
• When I Stopped Believing – And Started Growing Up
• Cherry PopTarts and Love (fathers & daughters in divorce)
• Team Dad, “Even When We Can No Longer Be Together”
• 8 Lessons from My First 2 Divorces
• The Kids are All Right: A Dad’s Divorce Reflections
• The Joy of Divorce and the 3 Gifts of Breaking Up
• The Hero’s Journey of a Divorced Dad
• Focusing On the Other Person is a Trap
• Seven Strategies for Winning Divorce
• Love is the Goal, Discover Your Own Path
• The Big Three Marriage Issues and the Hope of Counseling
• Two People In Love Spread a Message
• Transformational Divorce
• The Spiritual Quest for Love
• 10 Things I’ve Learned In the 5 Years Since My Divorce
• The Care and Feeding of a Lover
• The Training and Education of a Reluctant Divorcé
• What You Can’t Tell Your Kids After Divorce
• The 3 Immutable Laws of Co-Parenting
• Back to School and Summer’s End for the Single Dad
• The Transcendent Single Father
• Dear Non-Custodial Dad: Here’s What You’re Getting
• The Positive Divorce is Up To You: The Two Levels of Healing
• As a Nice Guy, Cooperative Divorce Was Not Fair Or Balanced
• The Present and Future Perfect Planning In Your Relationship
• Divorcing with Kids: The Golden Rule – It’s About Time Not Money
• Carrying the Load: Money Issues from Marriage to Child Support
• Loving Again is an Ongoing Leap of Faith
• The Benefits of a Happy Ex-Wife (Positive Divorce and CoParenting)
• Are You Receiving Me? When Not Listening Turns Towards Divorce
• An Amazing Thing Has Happened
• We Almost Lost the Ship
• Massive Action: The Return Journey Begins Now
• In Relationship with a Divorced Dad: Ground Rules
• Preparing to Disembark: Liftoff from Tranquillity Base
• The Crew Must Survive
• Single Parent Moon Landing: Into the Sea of Tranquility
• My Little Rocket Ship of Hope and Love
• Love All Parents
• That Silence Says A Lot: What Are You Paying Attention To?
• Celebrating a Drama-free Christmas as a Single Parent
• Giving Your Co-parent a Break
• Loss of the Proximity Effect as a Divorced Dad
• Where Did Your Connective Heart Go After We Got Married?
• Rebuilding Myself Into the Person I Was Before We Married
• Dear Daughter, We’ll Catch Up on Thursday
• Staying Positive and Becoming Whole – OverDivorce Podcast
• Dads, Fathers, & Men: Single Dads Are Pro Family, Too
• Burning Down the House of Love and Hope
• Holding Your Dream Together When Other’s Have Lost Theirs
• Coming Full Circle: A Dad’s Experience of the Divorce Recovery Cycle
• What I Learned From My First and Second Marriages
• Blameless Divorce: I Had a Dream Where You Apologized
• Stop Thinking: The Lost Art of Deep Listening
• 7 Wins for the Hyper-Focused Single Parent
• Upward and Onward After Splitting Up
• The Next 100 Coffee Filters: Don’t Be Hasty About Your Divorce
• I’m Proud of You: The Dance of Fathers and Their Sons
• The Good Side of Divorce – Making Things Go Easier
• Continuing Forgiveness As a Single Parent
• Live On the Interwebs: the Fatherhood Wide Open Interview
• The Rest of Our Lives Loving the Same Person
• The Fading Passion of Monogamy
• At the End of Sex and My Marriage
• Dad’s Hand On My Head, Forever
• The Ballet of Waking Up as a Single Parent
• Dad In Love a Happy Story
• A Different Side of Boyhood: Celebrating Divorced Families
• Dear Single Mom: Listen, I Was Your Son, I Get It
• What Turns a Hot Marriage Cold? The One Word Answer.
• Super Judo Warrior Dad in Divorce
• The Money After Divorce Manifesto; A Neverending Story
• Prayer for Single Parents, and My Ex
• Get Into Your Divorce, Because You’ll Never Get Over It
• Learning What “Responsible Separation” Means
• The Transformation of Parenting in Marriage and Divorce
• Positive Divorce: From Blame To Forgiveness
• Love Is An Ongoing Choice Not a Feeling: Reflecting On My Divorce
• Timing, Money, and Parenting Within the Standard Possession Order
• Foundation Troubles in a Marriage
• Durable Love: Forgiving Your Ex and Refinding Love
• Finding Balance In the Inequitable Life After Divorce
• All Available Light: Positive Parenting Energy Is Never Lost
• Putting Your Divorce in Context, For Yourself and the Kids
• Getting With the Program: The Cadence of Co-Parenting
• That Holiday Feeling After Divorce
• The New Father’s Day: My Day of the Week After Divorce
• Finding the Happy Side of Difficult Divorce Street – FLIP IT
• Moving from Parenting To Co-parenting: Joining Together In Divorce
• Co-parenting Is Not Always Easy, But We Have a Choice
• Pause and Reset After Divorce
• The Divorce Ahead, Go Slow, Breathe
• I Am Not the Problem, We Are
• A Return to Wholeness After Divorce