How to Flatter a Man

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: September 2, 2023

Everyone likes to feel valued and appreciated. Our fathers, taxi drivers, shop staff, co-workers, fellow students, strangers, etc., men are almost everywhere there are people. If you want to flatter a man, you can follow these steps but do keep in mind not all men are the same and your reasons for flattering a man can be varied.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Flattering in General

1
Compliment him sincerely. Only compliment him about something if you actually like it. People often notice things like cringes or awkward body language, so he can probably tell if you're lying to him. Instead, point out your favorite traits about him. Simple statements like, "You're smart", "I like the way you think" or, "I admire your work", when said in a heartfelt way are very effective.
2
Let him be a gentleman, even if it isn't necessary. Some men want to hold doors, pay restaurant bills, hold your arm, help you with your coat, carry your bag, or do other courteous things. Even if you don't need him to do this, he may feel happy if you smile graciously and say thank you. Many men like to feel helpful and courteous, so try going ahead and letting him do it.
- Of course, this doesn't mean you should have to put up with something that makes you uncomfortable. It's okay to say "please don't call me sweetheart" or "I don't like being touched like that" or something else to set a boundary.
3
Ask for his opinion. People love to know that you care what they think. Show interest in his thoughts and ideas. Try asking him for his input, especially if you're unsure about a decision, and listen to what he has to say.
4
Use the obvious! If a man is drawing attention to something about his appearance, or if he has a prominent trait that you think is cool, point it out. Say you like it or ask a question about it. It's flattering just to be noticed so say hi or wave to acknowledge someone and flatter them.
- "That's such a cool tattoo! What's the story behind it?"
- "You have great style, I like your shirt."
- "Those are really nice cuff links."
- "That is an awesome pink mohawk. How do you get it to stand up?"
- "Your beard is so well-groomed. How do you take care of it?"
5
Acknowledge his skills and accomplishments. If you know him well, you know some of the things he's good at. Referencing them on occasion can help him feel respected and valued.
- "You're good at literary analysis. What do you think about the book?"
- "I could use your baking expertise."
- "Could you check these facts and figures? You have an eye for precision and I bet you could catch any mistakes I might have made."
6
Show him that the things he's done for you have made a difference. It's flattering for anyone when something they've given is appreciated and/or put to good use. Some people say imitation is the sincerest form for flattering, so consider imitating a man to flatter him.
- Wear clothing and jewelry that he gave you.
- Use tools that he gave you.
- Show off skills that he helped you learn.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Avoiding Common Mistakes

1
Avoid highlighting something that may make him uncomfortable. Sudden changes to a man's appearance aren't always chances made voluntarily; sometimes illnesses or accidents cause a change. If you know the man, try flattering him by saying, "I'm glad I ran into you today, it's always good to spend time with you" rather than mentioning the sudden change. If he says "how do you think I look?", you can play it safe and say, "You're looking good" or, if you think he'll be happy to talk about a change in his appearance try, "Whatever you've done, it looks great".
- Weight loss and hair loss sometimes happen due to illness. It's best not to remark on them.
- If a man has started wearing a wig, using fake tan, had his teeth whitened, wearing lifts in his shoes, wearing a shapewear etc, he might initially be self conscious and not want attention drawn to it.
2
Don't make assumptions about income, sexuality, size, or ability. You want to stay respectful of people's differences and avoid offensive comments, or you may find that he's quickly become unhappy.
- Income: Money is a touchy subject for many people. "That's a beautiful watch" is a more diplomatic thing to say than, "wow, your watch looks really expensive". Some crass people may decide to tell you what things costs and to flatter them, you should look mildly impressed. Do not tell a man you have a more expensive version of anything they've got, unless they are really showing off and being obnoxious and you're over trying to flatter them!
- Sexuality: Don't try to flatter a man you don't know well by saying "I bet you're popular with the ladies/fellers". You don't know his sexuality unless he tells you. If you want to flatter him, you can simply say "You must be out on dates all the time."
- Size: Don't comment on his weight, even if he's lost weight. Some men are self-conscious about weight because they feel too heavy or too skinny. And sometimes weight loss is due to illness.
- Disability: Be cautious about disability-related compliments. For example, just like you wouldn't say "I bet you're really speedy on those legs of yours" to an able-bodied person, it's not necessary to say "I bet you're really speedy in that chair of yours" to a wheelchair user. Avoid sympathy flattery; don't tell him that he's brave for doing ordinary things or being out in public. Instead, talk about his actual achievements, or if you know that going out is a bit of an ordeal for him, say that you're glad he's here.
3
Don't put yourself down or accept things that make you uncomfortable. Building him up should not happen at your expense. Don't pretend to be weak, foolish, or less accomplished than him when you're not. It's important for your flattery to come from a place of self-respect.
- Don't downplay your achievements. You're both awesome. A good man can acknowledge others' strengths and accomplishments without letting insecurity poison it.
- Don't put up with bigotry or sexual harassment. This behavior isn't okay and you don't have to tolerate it.
- Say "no" to his advances if you're not interested.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Flattering Romantically

1
Get close to him. Body language matters, and you want to communicate that you like being with him. You can invent an excuse or just go for it.
- Adjust his appearance (like fixing his collar or picking lint off his shirt) and give him a smile.
- Cuddle with him.
- Hug him.
2
Compliment his appearance. No matter how long he has known you, he wants to know that you find him attractive. Tell him what his attractive qualities are.
- "This shirt shows off your gorgeous blue eyes."
- "Your arm muscles are huge."
- "You always look handsome to me."
- "You have such deep, thoughtful eyes."
3
Flirt with your husband or long-term boyfriend, even though he's already yours. Keep the magic alive by continuing to flirt with him. This lets him know that you're still very interested and you think he's worth it.
- Take him out on dates.
- Tease him.
- Pull him away from the public eye and give him a kiss.
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Tips

Flatter men you know well! Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves now and then. You may rarely flatters your son/dad/brother/husband/grandad or whoever else because you think they know what's good about them, but, say it now and again. "You look good in that shirt", "You're great at that", "I knew you'd give me the right advice" - all flattering, all well worth saying.

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