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The last time he had been in the same room with Arthur Pendragon, he had been 17 years old. Arthur had been 20, and he was breaking up with Merlin. "I'm going to LA! We got a record contract!!” he all but yelled. Merlin had been so happy for him… but they would be a world apart, and Arthur would be a rock star. Merlin was underage. It wasn’t going to work. “Knight Stud and the Scarlet Self” became Scarlet Night, and Merlin never heard from Arthur again.
Now, Merlin was 26 years old, and had been dragged to the concert by his friend Gwen. They hadn't bought the tickets, but Gwen had won them in a radio call contest. They were her favorite band, and she knew Merlin had met them back in the old days, back home in Ealdor. She had no idea there was any history beyond that – Merlin didn't like to talk about it.
So there he was, in the front row of a concert he didn't even want to attend, watching a band he had loved but which had taken the love of his life from him. To say he had mixed feelings would be an understatement. Great seats at a concert with a great band but he was pretty sure Arthur would see him sitting in the front row.
About halfway through their latest radio hit ballad, Arthur had looked down through his long hair and his eyes met Merlin's. There was no doubt that Arthur knew exactly who Merlin was. Arthur looked a little stunned but he kept singing; the mark of a professional, Merlin guessed.
When the song was over, Arthur put his microphone back on the stand. Then he had looked down at Merlin again, grabbed the mic and announced to the crowd that “We’ll be right back!" The rest of the guys looked pretty surprised but they followed Arthur off the stage just that same.
When they came back on stage just a moment later, Arthur had grabbed a different guitar. “Hey guys we’re going to play an old cover special just for Cardiff! This is going out to a special friend who’s in the audience tonight." Looking right at Merlin, he pointed and said, “I want YOU to want ME.” Everyone started screaming, the drums kicked in, then the base, and the guitars.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up my old brown shoes.
I'll put on a brand new shirt.
I'll get home early from work
if you say that you love me.
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
Oh, Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
Feelin' all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin'
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I'll shine up my old brown shoes.
I'll put on a brand new shirt
I'll get home early from work
if you say that you love me.
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
Oh, Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
Feelin' all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'<
Feelin' all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin'
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
Feelin' all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin'
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, see you cryin'
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
The rest of the show, it was as if Arthur was singing directly to Merlin. Merlin barely looked at Lance, Gwaine, or Leon. Arthur barely looked at Merlin, but when he did it was a sultry look Merlin remembered from the club gig days.
When the show was over it was as if Merlin had awakened from a spell. A crowd of groupies pressed forward; everyone else was filing out. Gwen wanted to try to get an autograph but Merlin knew there was no way they’d get past security. He was dragging Gwen through the crowd, away from the stage, when a man as big as a house laid a hand on his shoulder.
“Mr. Pendragon would like you to come back stage,” the man said.
Gwen squealed, and Merlin sighed. “Her too?” he asked the large man, who looked at her and gave a single, terse nod.
“Follow me,” he said. People parted in from of him like Moses at the Red Sea.
Soon, Gwen was getting Gwaine’s autograph and Merlin was being dragged into a private room – looked like Arthur’s dressing room, and he hadn’t gotten any more tidy with age.
“Merlin! You’re a sight, I am so glad to see you, so glad you came. I was going to send tickets but I didn’t think you’d come. You came! You got tickets yourself and you came.” Arthur stepped very close to Merlin then. “I’ve missed you, God. All these years. We couldn’t… it wasn’t the time, but god, I’d give up all my money for a second chance.”
Merlin blurted the first thing that popped into his mind. “Gwen won the tickets.”
Arthur blanched. “What?”
“Gwen. My friend Gwen. She won the tickets.”
Arthur turned away to fumble with something on the table. “You didn’t want to come. Well, damn it. I’m sorry to have…. I’m sorry I inconvenienced you, then,” he said, turning around. His face was a mask. “I’ll have Percy escort you out, unless you want to speak to the other guys.”
“Arthur,” Merlin said. “You clotpole.”
Arthur’s mask broke, a tiny grin showing. “Idiot.”
“I didn’t buy tickets because I didn’t know how to see you again, and not see you.”
“That didn’t make any sense.”
“See you, on a stage, and not see you… well, like this,” Merlin said, sweeping a hand around.
“Could you… could we start again? I know it ended badly, but I…”
Merlin interrupted. “I was 17. I could hardly go to America with you, and you couldn’t stay. You had to go, for the band, for the music.”
“I could have figured it out.”
Merlin sighed. “It’s the past, Arthur.”
Arthur swallowed. “At least we can be friends again?”
“I love you,” Merlin said. Arthur looked a little stunned. “I always have, and I suspect I always will, and if you want another chance you have it.”
Arthur didn’t speak. He opened his mouth, and then he was kissing Merlin, his hands on either side of Merlin’s face. He’d gotten a hell of a lot better at kissing in the previous last nine years, they both had.
Merlin felt a pang of jealousy, and pulled back. “I supposed you’re used to dragging groupies back after a show. ‘I want you to want me?’ Honestly, Arthur.”
Arthur looked down. “I haven’t been a saint, Merlin. But none of them were you.”
“I won’t be used.”
“I would never be parted from you, Merlin, never again.”
Tears came to Merlin’s eyes. Arthur had always been a bit of a poet.
Arthur dropped to his knees, nuzzling Merlin’s bulge. “Let me blow you, love,” Arthur said.
Merlin went from interested to rock hard with Arthur mouthing at him through his jeans. He put his hands in Arthur’s long blond hair. He wanted that mouth on him. He needed it.
Merlin was embarrassingly quick to find release. “Can I, Arthur? You,” he indicated Arthur’s lap.
“Not necessary, love,” Arthur said.
“You already… from blowing me?”
“Yeah,” Arthur said. “I told you, none of them were you. I love you, and I always have.”
***
Merlin was not parted from Arthur. They spent all their off-road time back in Ealdor, at a house they built near Merlin’s mum’s. Scarlett Night did ‘I want you to want me’ at every show, and Arthur sang to Merlin, who always watched from the wings.
Cheap Trick’s original song, from which the lyric above is taken: