Oh, you masterful Austrian tweakazoids. Last night, we were pondering the vodka Red Bull, thinking that the only way to best its amped-up booziness would be to invent a liqueur called “Creme de Meth.” Which might or might not be a great idea, depending on one’s self-regard. Today, this thing pops up: an Australian-built facet-crazy spud of a party van built on a Land Rover chassis.
Starting with the long-wheelbase Defender 130 frame, Land Rover apparently drew inspiration from Lockheed’s Have Blue program of the 1970s. After all, the vans of the era were all about modern conveniences (Television! Shag carpet! Water beds! Velour!) and outlandish exteriors. What was more bleeding-edge modern than Have Blue’s then-hypersecret stealth technology?
But Red Bull’s machine is no typical sin bin meant for after-hours relaxation with a sixer of High Life and Michael McDonald eight-tracks. It’s not meant to be shared with a fine fox or two, but rather with a teeming, partying crowd. To that effect, it features a pop-up DJ booth, presumably for bumping Chic, The Celibate Rifles, or Kraftwerk. Or maybe the works of one of those guys you see on Hakkasan billboards in Las Vegas. Oh, who are we kidding? Tiësto don’t van. But if he did . . .
Davey G. Johnson has been writing about the machines that move us since 2001. His first automobile was an El Camino, his first motorcycle a Guzzi, and his first sports car a Porsche, informing his admittedly fungible belief that one should haul American, drive German, and ride Italian.
