Chapter Text
From Blaine: Skype. 15. Code Red.
Kurt looks down when his phone buzzes in class and rolls his eyes at Blaine’s dramatics.
To Blaine: make it 30, in class he texts back under the table.
“Oh my god,” Rachel accosts him when they leave class, “you would have gotten in so much trouble Kurt. Professor Langan is incredibly strict about her class policy.” She takes his phone from him.
“Code Red! Why haven't you called him back?”
“Because it’s not a big deal. Code Red is what we came up with for when Blaine needs me ASAP but it’s mostly because he’s being dramatic. Code Black is the real Code Red.”
“I love that you have special codes for Blaine’s admirable sense of drama,” Rachel laughs.
Kurt smiles. “I have my own codes too.”
“Like?” They link arms and walk into the semi fresh New York air from the subway kiosk.
“Code Yellow is a fashion emergency, and Code Purple is a fashion emergency that takes precedence over pretty much everything else. It’s my Code Black.”
Rachel just laughs again.
“So you’re skyping him when you get home?”
“Of course. Bro Code,” he says, eyebrow twitching to underscore the irony. “You call when you can, as soon as you can depending on the level of distress. Code Red means as soon as I have a minute, not drop it all this moment.”
“Bro Code?” Rachel asks and Kurt just looks loftily away. She wouldn’t understand anyway.
~*~
“I think he’s flirting with me,” Blaine says without preamble. Kurt sighs.
“You know he is. I know he is. The mice at the Lima Bean know he is, Blaine.”
“What-- wait mice?!”
“Oh my,” Kurt puts his fingers over his mouth, “had I not mentioned that before?”
Blaine’s eyes kind of bug out. “No! How could you not?”
“Well I am not sure they have mice, I just think I saw one once. And everyone loves the Lima Bean, so I didn’t want to ruin it. I just decided I’d not get anything from there again.”
“Kurt, as my best friend, “ Blaine puts his heart over his chest, eyes wide and wounded and Kurt rolls his eyes, “I am appalled that you’d let me go back there without telling me.”
“Oh calm down Drama Dave,” Kurt waves him off. “Can we focus on the important part of this conversation? Namely, you finally getting your head out of your ass.”
“Fine,” Blaine huffs.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t know he was flirting, his smarm was all over you. You were soaking it up like a sponge.”
Blaine skips over that. “But I didn’t realize he had like, serious intent!”
“Oh?” Kurt feels his ears perk at that. “How do we know now?”
“He sent me a box of Valentines day cookies.”
“Aww.”
“With a faintly suggestive note.”
“Everything that comes out of that man's mouth is suggestive Blaine-”
“And a date and time at the bottom.”
“...oh.”
“Yeah,” Blaine nods and holds the card up, too close to be anything but fuzzy. Kurt bats at the screen like he could push it away.
“Well, what are you going to do?” Kurt perches, literally and metaphorically, at the edge of his seat.
“I don’t know. He’s...he’s kind of a lothario isn’t he?”
Kurt snorts. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“I mean,” Blaine fiddles with the card, “I like him. He’s funny and traveled and it’s nice to be the center of his attention. He’s really good at making me feel like the center of his attention.”
“Something you love.”
“Don’t make me sound like an attention whore,” Blaine says flippantly and Kurt giggles.
“So do you want to go with him?”
“I guess?” Blaine bites his lip and drums the card against his palm with a small fwap-fwap sound. “I just...I think he’ll….expect things. And I don’t know if I’m ready. I always thought I’d do that with a boyfriend. I don’t know that Sebastian does boyfriends.”
“You don’t have to plan your wedding silly,” Kurt smiles. “Go on a date. You can say no. See how it goes. Maybe get a smooch out of it.” Kurt flips him a wink.
Blaine sighs dreamily. “Oh I would love to be kissed.”
“Wouldn’t we all.”
“I bet he’s excellent at it,” Blaine says
“All that practice he must get, I believe,” Kurt adds.
“Don’t be so catty, it looks terrible...who am I kidding, it looks natural on you,” Blaine jokes.
“I’m sorry. You know me. I guess the pangs of jealousy make me a bit mean. The green eyed monster in me knows little respect for the bonds of friendship.”
“It’ll come Kurt,” Blaine encourages softly. “You’ve only been there a few weeks.”
“I do suppose that my expectations were a bit high,” Kurt admits. “Falling off the train into the arms of a dashing, elegant and handsome gentleman who would carry my bags and kiss me tenderly was a bit over the top.”
“Kurt Hummel, the day you stop living an over the top dream, I’ll call the Pope,” Blaine says.
“A useless endeavor.”
“Okay I’ll call McQueen.”
“From the dead?”
“Shut up and work with me here.”
“No you shut up.”
“Both of you-” Santana yells from somewhere in the loft, “fuck off with the foreplay already and take off some clothes.”
“Oh god, she’s listening,” Kurt turns the sound down. “Think about his offer. Text me when you know what you’re going to do.”
“M’kay,” Blaine’s already looking elsewhere at the screen. “I’ll talk to you later tonight when we watch The Bachelorette.”
“See you then!”
~*~
“Definitely a date,” Blaine says smugly as soon as Kurt answered the phone.
“Oh? And was he a gentleman?”
“I’d assume you could extrapolate that since I said it was a date and not a hookup.”
“With you Blaine Anderson, one never knows. One day you’re all sweetness and blushing and the next you’re dancing on tables practically selling…it.”
“Sex, Kurt,” Blaine laughs at him. “Say the word.”
Kurt blushes.
“I can know about it,” he brushes at his pants primly, “and be curious and want it without saying the word to you.” He sits up a little straighter.
“Oh it’s just me?” Blaine teases.
“Leave me alone. It’s a long way off. I’d settle for some scandalous hand holding right now.”
“I held your hand once.”
“That wasn’t scandalous B, it was weirdly crossbody and awkward,” then he softens. “But it meant the world to me.”
“Anyway, if you’re done critiquing my hand holding techniques, can we talk about the goodnight kiss?”
Kurt squeals loudly enough to garner grumbles from the living room where Santana and Rachel are hanging out.
“It was lovely,” Blaine sighs. Kurt pushes down the ugly rise of jealousy. Blaine’s finally gotten his first kiss that counts (Blaine insists that making out with Rachel didn’t count, no matter what Rachel says), and he’s well and truly happy for him.
“I don’t need details on tongue-age-”
“Lots of it,” Blaine interrupts, a little too lost in his thoughts.
Kurt claps loudly to break him out of his reverie. “Focus. I need details on how it happened.”
Blaine snaps back to the conversation. “Well the date started off on a strange foot. His sartorial choices left a little to be desired -- sweatervest -” he ignores Kurt’s snort and mumbled pot calling the kettle, “which was obviously from the Gap, I mean god, he’s rich enough that the Gap-”
“Oh gods, yes, say no more,” Kurt says.
“Wrong colors for him too.”
“Tragic. You’d think he could find something that would downplay the ratio of horseteeth to face he struggles with.”
“Kurt-” Blaine warns, “be kind.”
Kurt nods, and pulls back. “I’m sorry that was just mean. Carry on.”
“He took me to a very nice dinner,” Blaine props his chin on his palm and stares off into the distance. “French. He ordered for us in French.”
“He ordered for you?” Kurt frowns.
“Oh god, I know, I know your soul just shriveled a little, but I thought it was romantic. He was trying to take care of me.”
“Well then,” Kurt swallows any concerns. From his impression of Sebastian he seems like the kind of guy who could easily walk all over Blaine. “So did he give you a lovely peck at the door? I suppose ending a date at a dorm room can be somewhat anti-climactic when he’s three doors away.”
“It was by the car actually,” Blaine admits. “He opened the door for me, and then took the takeout container from my hand. And then….” he sighs.
“Wait, what happened with the container?” Kurt asks when the silence has stretched on too long. He can’t help but shudder at the thought of something rich and maybe even buttery spilling out on Blaine’s clothes. They’d spent hours picking them out over the course of the week, it would be tragic to ruin them for a simple kiss.
“Uh, Kurt, can we focus on the important part?”
“Clothing should always be a priority,” Kurt says haughtily.
“Okay well I wasn’t talking about clothes,” Blaine looks at him strangely. “I was about to tell you more about the kiss…”
“Oh. Oh!” Kurt tears himself away from images of ruined clothing. “So how did that go? First real kiss live up to your daydreams?”
Blaine sighs and makes the most disgustingly sweet eyes at the monitor. He even puts his hand over his heart. “It was amazing.”
Kurt wants to gag but keeps his mouth shut because he’s 99% sure what he’s really choking on is envy. Pea green is not a suitable color on anyone.
“Anyway,” Blaine continues, “we kissed for a...bit,” he gives Kurt a familiar smile, wide and what Kurt thinks fondly of as completely dorky, complete with a little eye roll. “And then in courtly manner, he walked me to my room, told me he had a lovely evening and kissed me on the cheek.”
“Wow,” Kurt props his temple on his hand. “I’m- that sounds wonderful.”
“It was,” Blaine looks at him sympathetically and for a second Kurt hates that Blaine can read him so well.
Or that he’s so transparent.
“Shut up,” Kurt says, but it’s said kindly. He gives Blaine a small smile. “I know, I’m too fabulous to end up an old maid, I just have to wait patiently for my prince.”
Blaine laughs.
~*~
“I think I found a prince,” Kurt says without preamble. He hears some shuffling through the phone’s speaker.
“I’ve told you Kurt, there aren’t lost lineages that lead to the Queen, you’re not a forgotten heir,” Blaine explains patiently.
“Shut up, that’s not what I’m talking about,” Kurt shoulders past people heading toward the subway stairs. “Listen I’m about to go down to the train, but are you around tonight? Because I have got the best gossip about Prof. Wilks and Julie from dance and I have news about a potential new beau.”
“Ohh, Kurt you had me at gossip but I’m salivating over the beau,” Blaine teases.
~*~
“So are you going to ask him out?”
“Ehhh,” Kurt settles his laptop off of his lap and onto the bed, feeling overheated. “I don’t know. I mean, he’s older and so handsome, why would he be interested in me?”
“Kurt. You are a catch,” Blaine says definitively. “Besides, I know you’ve had this whole ‘waiting for my prince’ thing happening, but I think it stands to reason that if you go looking, you’ll find one even faster. You’re Kurt Hummel,” he gives Kurt a toothy smile and a wink, “go get him tiger.”
“Oh god, never say that again,” Kurt moans, laughing. “I’ll find a new Millionaire Matchmaker buddy.”
“Please,” Blaine holds up bowties one at a time for Kurt to consider while he talks, “trashy Bravo shows are the bedrock of our friendship.”
“And here I thought it’s that we like each other. The grey one with the green stripes.”
“We like each other?” Blaine sets the other ties aside carefully as he jokes. “I’m really just here for the tv shows and tie advice.”
“Watch it or I’ll start making you watch Designing Women with me.”
“Noooo,” Blaine moans dramatically, “anything but that.”
~*~
“I’ll be there at 4 sharp,” Blaine promises, excitement hopping in his voice.
“And I’ll be stumbling off the plane toward you,” Kurt yawns. “Thanks for coming to pick me up.”
“Please, I’m just excited I didn’t have to fight Burt for it.”
“Blaine,” Kurt reminds him, “it’s never a fight, you only ever win by default.”
“Shush, I like to feel important.”
“Well then, you’re the most important.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Blaine laughs and hangs up. Kurt smiles. He’ll have Blaine for himself until dinnertime, when Carole will be getting home after picking Burt up from his own incoming flight from Washington.
~*~
“Okay so we have options. I can take you to dinner, or we can go back to your house and we can make something for your Dad and Carole for when they get home and we can catch up there.”
“Is it awful to admit that I have all of New York at my feet and I really miss Breadsticks? Please don’t judge.”
“No judgement,” Blaine’s energy is infectious and Kurt giggles. “I bet you miss eating out too.”
“Yes!” Kurt buckles himself in and bounces in his seat. “Being poor sucks.”
“Well, dinner is on me, so tonight, you may dine upon stale breadsticks like a king.”
“Blaine,” Kurt rolls his eyes, “you don’t have to pay, I can afford to get myself dinner.”
“You’ll get me back when I come visit by giving me board,” Blaine says, steering carefully out of the parking garage.
Kurt squeals so loudly Blaine slams on the brakes. “Kurt!”
“Oh my god are you definitely coming then?” Kurt slaps at his arm in his excitement.
“Jesus Kurt didn’t anyone ever tell you not to yell in a moving car?” Blaine lets out a laugh and tries to calm his now pounding heart. He’d planned on telling Kurt over dinner. “Okay you got me, cat’s out of the bag. My parents said I can come for spring break!”
~*~
“I have a confession to make,” Kurt snaps a breadstick in two.
“Do tell,” Blaine says. He wipes stray crumbs that flew over to his side of the table away, then straightens his silverware.
“I kissed Adam last night.”
“Kurt shut up,” Blaine claps his hands together and bounces.
“You shut up, I don’t need all of Ohio to know,” Kurt whispers.
“Oh my god, tell me everything. All of it.”
“Well we went out to the movies. He let me pick,”
“Consummate gentleman,” Blaine sighs happily,
“And then we went for gelato. I was feeling particularly daring and so I made my move-”
“Kissing over gelato, you Cassanova,” Blaine wiggles his eyebrows.
“No I meant I grabbed his hand,” Kurt corrects him. “Although almost. I wanted to, but then I freaked out a little about kissing him with cold lips and it being sticky and that’s maybe not the best first kiss memory I would want-”
“Kurt Hummel, always on the hunt for perfection,” Blaine swirls his pasta fork carefully.
Kurt gives him a look. “Anyway, once we were done, we went for a moonlight walk in the park. Well, it was supposed to be in the moonlight, but it got cloudy,” he waves a hand. “But all that aside, we wandered a bit until we went down to Lullwater Bridge, so romantic-”
“Which I’ve never seen so I have no idea how to picture this,” Blaine inserts.
“I’ll take you,” Kurt waves a hand. “Anyway, that’s when we kissed. Well, he kissed me.”
“And?”
“And like you said,” Kurt preens a little, “amazing.”
~*~
“What are you doing?” Kurt adjusts his monitor and then flips his light off to get rid of the glare. Blaine’s been totally distracted the whole conversation. “That’s the seventh time you’ve looked down in ten minutes,” he’s trying not to be annoyed and so he jokes, “I know you just had me for three whole days in Ohio, but you can’t be bored with me already, I’ve been home for a week. By my calculations you should be nearing maximum threshold missing Kurt levels.”
“Sorry. Sorry,” Blaine tries to compose his face when he looks up, but ends up covering half of it and laughing sheepishly. “I- I think Sebastian is trying to sext me.”
“Shut up,” Kurt hunkers closer to the screen, “what is he saying?”
“I know you’re busy today, but I hope I’m on your to-do list for later,” Blaine reads aloud. “I tried to cool off with a shower, but baby the thought of you makes me so hot.”
“He did not!”
Blaine holds the screen of his phone up to the screen, as if Kurt would be able to read it that fuzzy and close up.
“That seems awfully forward of him,” Kurt says.
“Well, I mean…” Blaine looks away.
“Oh. Oh! Blaine Devon Anderson what have you not told me?” Kurt hisses.
“Nothing! Nothing,” Blaine rubs the back of his neck.
“You liar! You are a lying liar, you are a terrible liar! You’re rubbing your neck that is your tell, god if you’re going to lie to me at least learn to do it better you liar.”
“Jesus Kurt, don’t hold back,” Blaine is holding his stomach he’s laughing so hard.
“Did you lose your virginity and not tell me Blaine?” Kurt whispers. He’s not sure if he’s hurt, outraged, or a little jealous.
“God, no! God, Kurt,” Blaine makes that face then, that weirdly intense and earnest look with his eyebrows, and sometimes it’s just really hard not to laugh at him.
“Okay but you-”
“Okay I have a confession to make,” Blaine sits up and adjusts the lapels of his pj top. “Not that I lost my virginity, but that things have...progressed.”
“Ohhh, progress,” Kurt wiggles a little. “Tell me, tell me! Well maybe without too much detail. Did you flash him some ankle in the quad and overcome his sensibilities?”
“This isn’t a victorian drama Kurt. We were making out last Friday-”
“Friday your date that you told me about already Friday?” Kurt clarifies.
“Okay, I’ve been caught, I didn’t fess up right away.”
Kurt frowns. They tell each other everything. Why-
“I just didn’t know...I guess I was processing?” Blaine says it gently, guessing what Kurt is thinking.
“Well so you guys were making out?” Kurt shakes it off. He might be a little jealous, but that’s okay. Sure, he seems to be moving at a turtle’s pace with Adam -- and all of it is his fault -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not happy for Blaine. Or something.
“Yeah. It was really hot, by the way. His body. It was one thing to imagine but another to see, you know,” Blaine moves his eyebrows suggestively, “naked.”
“Careful-” Kurt warns.
“Kurt how can I really tell you what happened if the whole topic is an overshare?”
Kurt thinks on it for a moment. “Okay. I will concede that I’ll have to change the overshare rules. Because I’m dying to know.”
“So what you’re saying is that you want to know but not to be too frank?”
“Yes.”
“Okay well….” Blaine stops.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah I’m just...god now I’m trying to find a way to word it that doesn’t sound crude. Maybe I’ll google some synonyms,” he says, typing fast.
What-? “What did you do that needs googling Blaine, if you were making out?”
“Well obviously it was more than just making out,” Blaine rolls his eyes.
“More than making out but less than losing your virginity?” Kurt feels like he’s trying to solve a riddle.
“Yeah?”
“Blaine, what is in between those?”
“Kurt, did your dad not actually give you the sex talk you swore he gave you?”
“No, god, the horror. He did,” Kurt bends over and fishes around in his desk. “Here, look I kept them for reference,” he waves them around. “Pamphlets!”
“Alright so-”
“So- “ Kurt flips one over and reads through them quickly trying to ignore the blush that spreads over his cheeks, “frottage, oral, manual, self, blah blah, intercrural -- ooh I’d forgotten about that one -- fingers, toys, blah blah…”
When he looks up Blaine is staring at him, eyebrows raised and a speechless look on his face.
“What?”
“Okay Kurt we need to define some things here. You don’t count all of those things as losing your virginity do you?”
“Well, why wouldn’t I?” Kurt puts the pamphlets down.
“Because they don’t?”
“Wait a minute- you think just….just that counts?”
“Of course,” Blaine makes a face.
“What if...I don’t know what if...okay this isn’t me, but just say it were-”
“Uh huh,” Blaine says knowingly.
“What if I never wanted to do that-”
“Either giving or receiving?” Blaine asks. Kurt clears his throat delicately.
“Either.”
“Really? Not either? Ever??” Blaine says it like his mind is blown. Kurt crosses his legs and clears his throat primly.
“That’s not what I am saying,” he has to wave a hand at his face to tamp down the heat in his cheeks. “I mean I have an idea- I mean, never mind.”
“Kurt’s getting shyyyyyy,” Blaine teases.
“Shush now for a second,” Kurt stops him and wills his blush to die. “My point is, if I never wanted to do it at all, but was okay with everything else here,” he waves his pamphlets around, “then I am a virgin and always will be?”
“Huh,” Blaine looks up. “I’ll have to think about that. But I mean, I guess you would find a loophole anywhere right?”
“I have no idea what you mean,” Kurt says.
“Okay well, you tell me, what do you think counts?”
“When two people agree to it beforehand and they both have...you know,” he gestures with his hands.
“Orgasms?” Blaine tries to pry the word out.
“Yes,” Kurt huffs out a sigh.
“I think-” Blaine looks down when he gets another text and then back, “I think we define this very differently from one another.”
“What a world we live in. I’m scandalized,” Kurt puts his hand over his heart and turns a shoulder.
“Even though I can’t see it cause my screen is crappy, I know you were batting your eyes there too.”
“It’s nice to be able to trust that someone knows me that well,” Kurt sighs.
“Yeah,” Blaine looks at him, a plain look that says the words Kurt speaks next.
“I miss you.”
“Yeah, this isn’t the same without you,” Blaine clears his throat. “After...with Sebastian...I wanted to come to you and talk and just...you’re not here,” he shrugs.
“What would you tell me?” Kurt asks softly.
“That it was more fun than I thought it would be. That I didn’t realize I’d be so okay with it even though we’re not exclusive or anything. That the whole thing is actually kind of awkward when you can’t laugh about how weird it is with them.”
Kurt doesn’t say anything, but thinks, when it’s me, I want a guy I can laugh about it with because I can’t think of anything weirder.
“But still, overall I give it a good eight out of ten. You know, give it a little room to grow.”
“Wow, for a first timer I think you maybe rated yourself a little highly there,” Kurt jokes.
“I was the ten, who are you kidding?” Blaine teases back.
“So….” Kurt is dying to know but can’t think of how to ask. God, he really does have a lot of detail overshare rules he doesn’t want violated...but it’s not violating if he is asking right?
“We jerked each other off,” Blaine butts into his thoughts.
“Oh dear god no,” Kurt slaps his hands over his eyes like the images might not infiltrate. “I hadn’t decided if I was going to ask or not!”
“I thought I’d save you the agony of indecision. Anyway, like I said, not a huge ordeal. I definitely don’t qualify that as losing the big V.”
Kurt’s quiet for a minute, and waits until he can look into Blaine’s eyes. “I would.”
Blaine’s eyes soften. “Yeah, I know. It’ll happen Kurt.”
“Not if I insist on being a prude the rest of my life,” Kurt shrugs, feeling prickly in his skin and annoyed with himself.
“You aren’t a prude. You’re private. You’re selective. You’re Kurt Hummel, come on.”
Kurt smiles. “This is true. I am fabulous. It’ll be a challenge, finding anyone as fabulous as I to share the experience with.”
“Maybe you already have?”
Kurt smiles a secret sort of smile. “Maybe.”
~*~
“I think tonight’s the night,” Kurt flops onto the bed where the laptop lays and for a second Blaine’s face bounces off to the left when it almost falls off the edge.
“Tonight? Kurt it’s 6pm!”
“I know, and I know I’m cutting it close but I think I want tonight to be the night and so I need advice.”
“What kind of advice? Kurt I’ve stuck my hand down a guy's pants twice in my life, that’s hardly the romantic first time you’re going for here.”
“Oh,” Kurt feels kind of sad. “That’s how it went?”
“Okay well no, it was quite a lot less tawdry than that. Still. It was fine for me. I just think you’d want something a little different.”
“What does that mean?” Kurt frowns.
“It means you deserve something really special.”
“Blaine.”
“I don’t mean I don’t either. I just mean….it didn’t feel like I was losing my virginity Kurt. I didn’t feel like this pressure to make it the most memorable moment ever. When and If I do lose it, trust me, there will be a script and a lighting crew and marks and everything.”
“Well that might actually do more to ruin the romance, don’t you think?” Kurt teases.
“You know what I mean,” Blaine smiles and looks down.
“Okay then,” Kurt feels nerves rise so fast they double as nausea. “I have to go start getting ready. Um. Any advice?”
“Let yourself enjoy it. Have fun,” Blaine says.
“Enjoy. Check. Fun. Okay. Can do,” he pauses. “Wish me luck?”
“Get lucky!” Blaine says. “That’s way more appropriate here, don’t you think?”
“I suppose,” Kurt says, laughing.
“Alright then. Be careful, have fun, and GET LUCKY!”
“Blaine, you are incorrigible,” Kurt rolls his eyes and blows the monitor a kiss before closing out the screen.
Kurt looks at the clothes he’d laid out. It’s an outfit he’d had Blaine help him pick a few weeks ago, a just in case and a for when I’m ready. Pieces that are flattering but easier to remove. Not too easy, because Blaine had agreed that there was something very sensual and erotic about peeling someone out of clothing. Slipping some buttons through a shirt was sexy. Unhooking four straps to get through one layer of a bondage shirt and then finding a sweater and a button down under it -- not.
One last glance at the clock tells him he’s almost out of time, and so with a fortifying breath, he begins to get ready.