How to Relate to Children

Co-authored by Wits End Parenting

Last Updated: November 5, 2020

Your relationship with a child will go more smoothly if you show a little kindness.

Steps

Step down a little and physically go to his or her level. Get on their level so you can look them in their eyes. It's like you to enter to their little worlds, their space by kneeling, placing them on your laps, etc.
Don't scold or hit.
3
Listen. Really pay attention to what they have to say. Some of it will be silly. Some of it will be repetitive or less than sensible. Then, go with it. Joke and be silly, explain, answer their questions as best you can, or ask them some questions of your own to get them thinking.
- Ask them what are they thinking about? Prepare yourself because you may be surprised! If they can not put their thinking in words, you may think of simple emotions or thoughts.
This will make them think you're cool. Let them stay up late, or invite all kinds of friends over. Let them get into the chocolate, watch the big kid movies or a TV show that is on a little late.
Get off your computer, and play some childrens' games like "Mother May I", "Red Light, Green Light", or board games.
, or let them read to you. A good story is a great thing to share.
When kids are getting some exercise and fresh air, their behavior is better than if they are playing video games all the time. The best way to convince them to get outside is to announce "in half and hour we're all going outside, so you have a half hour to play video games" then in 10 minutes time, remind them again. Then, when they have to get off there will be less likelihood of all the screaming and "I hate yous".
Cheer them on with phrases such as "good job". Give high-fives. This will get them excited and will make them feel appreciated.
Playgrounds, libraries, amusement parks, skating rinks, lakes, movies, museums, anywhere where they can explore, learn, and/or have fun.
Dance, laugh, sing, shout, tell jokes, tell secrets, be a kid yourself!

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How should a parent deal with a disrespectful child?

Wits End Parenting
Parenting Specialists
Wits End Parenting is a parent-coaching practice based in Berkeley, California specializing in strong-willed, “spirited” children with impulsivity, emotional volatility, difficulty “listening,” defiance, and aggression. Wits End Parenting's counselors incorporate positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s temperament while also providing long-term results, freeing parents from the need to continually re-invent their discipline strategies.

Wits End Parenting

Parenting Specialists

Expert Answer

If you're talking about a preschool-age disrespectful child, it's usually some kind of testing behavior that they're trying out. You completely ignore it and don't give them what they want. With any age child, you don't give somebody something if they're acting disrespectfully to you. With school-age kids, you're going to have to have some kind of consequence, usually above and beyond just not providing them what they're asking for. Sit down and talk to them. Tell them that it hurts your feelings.

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Do you have any top examples of how a parent can teach a child to help others through action?

Wits End Parenting
Parenting Specialists
Wits End Parenting is a parent-coaching practice based in Berkeley, California specializing in strong-willed, “spirited” children with impulsivity, emotional volatility, difficulty “listening,” defiance, and aggression. Wits End Parenting's counselors incorporate positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s temperament while also providing long-term results, freeing parents from the need to continually re-invent their discipline strategies.

Wits End Parenting

Parenting Specialists

Expert Answer

The first step is modeling. It has to be a normal activity. The parent has to be helpful to other people, helpful to strangers, helpful to neighbors, and helpful to people they don't like. It's very powerful. If you have a neighbor that you don't like but you see that that person needs help, you say, "Look, he needs some help. His car's not starting. Let's go out and help him."

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How do I love my children?

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People generally believe and accept that love for one's children comes completely naturally and doesn't require any extra effort. If you find that you feel no love for your children, you may want to talk to a mental health professional to try and figure out why. Keep in mind that becoming angry or punishing your children for bad behavior is not a sign that you don't love them.

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Tips

On rainy days, have indoor activities planned like board games, or make a tent inside, dance, dress up, or get soaked in the rain.

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On sunny days go outside, wander around and play tag, go swimming, rake leaves, go sledding, or skating, be fun!

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Be supportive of the child. When things go wrong, don't freak out. Children get upset when someone is angry at them. Stay calm, even though they lost your ring, or broke your favorite whatever. Use a firm voice; never scold. Help them when things go wrong. Hug them and hold them and tell them you love them.

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Warnings

Small children heat up quickly when angry and take a few minutes before they like you again.

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Be prepared to talk about "what is on your mind" because if you ignore what they just said, you are the one they can't communicate with.

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This only works on really little kids!

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