“Evil” is a complex thing. Sometimes evil is justified, other times knowing evil is just the best way to fight it. Here are 10 things that clearly fall under the banner of “evil,” but are worth knowing how to do.
We’ve been featuring less-than-moral hacks in our annual evil week for a few years now, and we’ve racked up quite a few, so if you haven’t been keeping up, here’s a roundup of our best “evil” life hacks. Just remember: Knowing evil means knowing how to beat it, so use your powers for good.
10. Lie
Sometimes, lying is justified—like if you’re doing it to keep an important secret or if you’re trying to avoid burning a bridge. Sometimes it’s bad, but relatively harmless, like sounding intelligent or getting a small discount on movies, student products, out of warranty repairs, and other such things. Whatever your feelings, however, knowing how to lie can make you a lot better at detecting those lies in others, and even help you get the truth out of them. You may not be able to pass a polygraph test, but being a good liar is a good skill to have, evil or not. Photo remixed from mikute (Shutterstock).
9. Cheat
People cheat. It happens. But depending on the circumstance, it isn’t always a bad thing. Other times, its downright evil. We’ve showed you tricks from all across this spectrum, from cheating at video games to circumventing Wi-Fi timeouts, getting around paywalls, getting the best seat on a plane, or getting the best price online. Use your tricks wisely, though—if you rely on cheating too much, you’ll never be able to get stuff done when cheating isn’t an option.
8. Steal
Picasso once said “Good artists borrow, great artists steal.” You may not be able to apply that logic to stealing the air out of someone’s tires, but you could perhaps apply it to stealing a coworker’s idea and passing it off as your own. And I don’t think I need to mention BitTorrent and Usenet, two of the greatest (but most oft-used for stealing) services on the web. The best thing to steal, though? Your own stuff, so you can know how to keep it all secure. Image remixed from Simon and lynea (Shutterstock).
7. Manipulate
Ever feel like you aren’t persuasive enough, or that you can’t get people to do what you want? Maybe it’s time to turn to more evil persuasion techniques. We’ve shared a few tricks that’ll help you manipulate people, but reverse psychology can also go a long way when it comes to planting ideas in people’s minds. None of these are particularly new tricks, either—they’ve been used by everyone from evil dictators to parents for years. Of course, if you’d rather manipulate people without abandoning your ethics completely, there are ways around that too. Image remixed from Lorelyn Medina (Shutterstock).
6. Invade
Privacy is dead these days. If you want to truly protect yours, it helps to know the best tricks privacy invaders are using—whether that’s stalking you online, digging through your trash, snooping on your phone, breaking into your computer, or hacking your entire network. And once you get there, you should know how they might use that information against you, too. Photos by studiobeerhorst and Africa Studio (Shutterstock).
5. Be Lazy
Okay, being lazy isn’t exactly evil, but it’s still viewed as a negative characteristic. But being lazy can actually make you more efficient. So it may be necessary to master the art of looking busy or sleeping at work to please the higher-ups while you recharge your batteries. Obviously, you can go overboard with this, but with the right strategy, laziness can actually be productive. Photo by Alle.
4. Get Angry
Sometimes, getting truly pissed off can do good things—like help you achieve hard goals or be a more effective complainer. Other times, venting frustration will only make your anger worse. So don’t be afraid to get angry, but make sure you manage that seething rage productively—like using text expansion to make quick work of assholes. Photo remixed from an original by Sammy.
3. Infiltrate
Ever since you were a kid, you’ve probably enjoyed the rush of being somewhere you weren’t allowed. Maybe it’s for a legitimate reason (like sneaking into a private pool on a really hot day) or maybe it’s just the rush (like being at an exclusive party), but either way, there are always ways to sneak in. All it takes is a little research and a bit of social engineering. Of course, if you’re really devious, you could learn to pick locks or steal some passwords, but that’s bound to get you in a little more trouble than playing dumb and sneaking in. Check out our top 10 ways to break into anything for more...inspiration.
2. Disappear
Being anonymous isn’t evil on its own, but coupled with other less-than-pious activity, it allows you to get away with an awful lot. When it comes to online activity, you have a lot of ways to stay anonymous: private browsing, proxy servers, VPNs, disposable email addresses, all the way to creating an entirely new identity. Of course, if you really want to take it to the next level, you could actually disappear and ditch big brother forever. Photo by Getty Images.
1. Just Be a Jerk
Still not feeling evil enough? Well, then it’s time to just start being a jerk to everyone—that oughta cement your reputation as a villain. Cut in line. Talk at the theater. Speed on the freeway and don’t pay that ticket. Teach your chronically late friends a lesson (unless that’s you). Blackmail deadbeats. By the end of the week, you shouldn’t have any problem getting that invitation to the evil league of evil you’ve been waiting for. Photo remixed from Graeme Maclean.
Thanks for all the great Evil Weeks, everyone. See you next year!
Title image by Nick Criscuolo.
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