Kim Kardashian West is an American hero. Her new app Kimoji has blessed the nation with the opportunity to spend $2 on a collection of emojis that are completely necessary. Ask yourself this: Did you really communicate with friends and family before being able to send a pair of Kardashian's lips—in six different colors—to them? No. No you did not. Your words were dismissed because dammit, who the hell has time to read, and you used the smiling poop emoji so often your friends became concerned.
Thankfully, Kardashian's Kimojis are here to save the day. Here is a guide for when and how to use the most important ones.
Use the unicorn Kimoji to show friends that you're a free spirit and one-of-a-kind.
Cousin: "Hey, this is awkward, but my mom said she saw you leave our house with her oven mitts?"
You: [Unicorn Kimoji]
The underwear around the ankles should only be sent after six to ten alcoholic beverages.
Tinder Match: "Yeah not sure where we're headed after this."
You: [Underwear around the ankles Kimoji]
Tinder Match: "Be there in 10"
Contrary to what you might think, the pregnant Kim Kimoji has nothing to do with pregnancy.
You: [Pregnant Kim]
Friend: "What??? Congrats!!!"
You: "Ohhh belly so full"
Friend: "WTF? Are you pregnant or not? Call me"
You: "Big burrito baby"
Friend: "You need a job"
Send the Kim selfie when you're looking too rough for an actual selfie.
Friend: "You ready?"
You: [Kim selfie]
Friend: "An emoji of Kim Kardashian taking a selfie is too many levels for me rn"
You: "Understood"
Use the Kim boobs to avoid uncomfortable subjects.
Colleague: "Get the promotion?"
You: [Kim boobs]
Colleague: "?"
You: "Forbidden topic"
Colleague: "Shit. Why not?"
You: "Blah blah blah we want to see more effort blah blah"
Colleague: "They asked about you leaving early every night to watch Family Feud, didn't they?"
You: [Kim boobs]
