How to Be a Feminist

Co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS

Last Updated: October 14, 2023 Fact Checked

There is no single way to be a feminist; being a feminist can take on very different forms. Essentially, a feminist is someone who believes in equality for all genders. Most people would say that they favor equality and gender rights. They believe that men, women, and non-binary people should have equal opportunities and the ability to do whatever they want with their lives.

Part 1

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Incorporating Feminism into Daily Life

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1
Love yourself, no matter your gender. It may sound cheesy, but loving yourself and practicing self-care empowers you. When you love yourself, you are essentially saying “my humanity matters.^{[1]
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- With this is loving your body, even (especially!) if it does not fit the media’s stereotype of perfection. Feminists often fight the misconception that an attractive female has one particular set of traits.
- This does not mean that you can’t spend time making yourself look pretty. You can wear makeup or high heels and be a feminist, but you don’t have to!
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Share equal responsibilities in your relationship. It can be common for members of heterosexual relationships and marriages to slip into traditional gender roles.^{[2]
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Research source} If you want to stay home with your children while your husband works, that’s fine! You can still be a feminist! However, you and your partner should make mindful decisions about household responsibilities.
- If you do most of the cooking, perhaps your partner should clean up the kitchen after dinner. If your partner does laundry on the weekends, you can contribute in other ways, like by vacuuming. As long as you’re making decisions about responsibilities based on choice and personal preference, and not on gender stereotypes, you’ll be incorporating feminism into your lifestyle.
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Raise your children to believe in gender equality. There are many ways to raise children to be feminists. A good start is encouraging them to embrace their individual interests and passions, regardless of their gender. You can also teach them to question gender assumptions (such as why girls’ items are invariably pink and purple, but boys’ items are never pink). Help them make life goals that do not hinge upon their gender.^{[3]
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- It is also important to emphasize both the mother’s and the father’s role as a parent. This will minimize the assumption that mothers parent while fathers work.
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Maintain positive equality in the workplace. Ideal workplaces would all be blind to gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and certain other life choices. In reality, this is not always the case. Maintain professionalism in the work place and always perform your best; if you feel that you are being discriminated against, (ie: paid less for similar work or passed over for a promotion) due to your gender. Do not be afraid to speak out about the inequity.^{[4]
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- If you have a managerial position, ensure fairness and equity in hiring, pay, and promotion policies.
There is an unfortunate modern tendency for women to judge and belittle the choices of other women, (particularly on social media). To be a feminist, support and empower other women instead of judging them. Realize that women who make decisions that differ from your own have likely put as much thought into those decisions as you have.

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Promoting Global Gender Equality

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Recognize systemic inequalities. An important part of being an informed feminist is cultivating an awareness of systemic prejudices against women around the world. You cannot stop every individual from having a particular opinion about women, but you can expose systemic inequalities.^{[5]
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- You can support organizations that provide suppressed women in other cultures education and opportunities.
- You can notice trends such as the discrepancy between the percentage of politicians or world leaders who are female, versus the female population of the world.
- Realize that in systems that discriminate against women in the areas of education or employment, women’s economic lives become dependent on others in power, which takes power from them.
Go to rallies that promote women’s equality. Join organizations that fight for the equality of women in your area as well as other countries. Speaking out about inequality is an important step towards achieving equality. You can find resources for feminist activism http://feminist.com/activism/ here.
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Vote for pro-women political leaders. One way that you can be a feminist and support feminist causes is to vote with women’s rights in mind.^{[6]
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Research source} Voting for politicians who advocate for women in the workplace and women’s healthcare rights can put your feminist beliefs into action.
- Additionally, you may want to find out if a candidate (male or female) has women working on his or her campaign staff. Advocating for women’s employment rights is less meaningful if a candidate doesn’t actually employ women.
Part of being a feminist is supporting the rights of everyone to do what they want in their lives and careers, even if it means breaking traditional gender stereotypes.^{[7]
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United Nations
Official site for the United Nations, an intergovernmental organization devoted to maintaining peace and building relationships between all nations.

Go to source} That means believing that a mom or a dad can choose to stay at home to raise young children. It means believing that a man or a woman can become a CEO of a company or a politician or president.

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Learning about Feminism

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A feminist believes that men and women should have equal opportunities and may spend time sharing and cultivating those beliefs. Feminism is not about rejecting female sexuality or upholding women as superior to men; it’s about challenging preconceptions about gender roles.^{[8]
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Research source} It’s about making observations and asking questions like, “why are pilots usually male, while flight attendants are usually female?”
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Explore common misconceptions about feminism. There are many misconceptions about feminism.^{[9]
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Research source}Some people hear the word “feminist” and imagine a woman who wears her hair short, hates men, and acts aggressively all the time.^{[10]
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Research source}However, a feminist can also be a stay-at-home-mom raising 4 kids and spending her days cooking and cleaning. A feminist can also be a man.
- Feminists do not have to remain unmarried, hate men, or be lesbians.^{[11]
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- Feminists do not have to dress or act a certain way.^{[12]
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To really understand feminism, you may want to brush up on the different waves of the feminist movement.^{[13]
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Research source}Learn about the most influential women leaders of women’s the suffrage movement. Learn about women’s equality issues such as equal pay for equal work,^{[15]
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Internal Revenue Service
U.S. government agency in charge of managing the Federal Tax Code

Go to source} and maternity leave policies.^{[17]
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Community Q&A

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How should I talk to someone who is being rude to women without being violent?

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Simply speak up and tell them why what they're saying is offensive to you (and presumably the other women). Don't get loud, don't point your finger in their face, etc. Calmly state your case. If you get too emotional, they will write you off as an "angry feminist" and not listen to anything you have to say.

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How do I become a feminist if I am a white French male?

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You are a feminist if you believe in equality between sexes/genders. Your nationality and own gender do not matter. If you are at voting age, you could vote for feminist politicians (as long as you agree with their manifestos). In your friendship group, you could educate others about your views.

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As young teen, how can I embrace feminism?

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Start small. Work on loving yourself, building up your friends, respecting others' boundaries, and supporting people of all backgrounds. If someone says something unfair or mean, say "I'm surprised a nice person like you would say something like that." Try reading some feminist websites aimed at teens and tweens for more ideas.

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Tips

Consider that both men and women have grown up in the same gendered society and have patience with those who do not yet understand why feminism is so important. People will be more open to discussing feminism if you treat them fairly and respectfully.

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Don't ignore the fact that men and women are biologically different, but don't make the mistake of confusing physical differences with culturally enforced ones.

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Read Betty Friedan's 'The Feminine Mystique'. This is one of the most important books in feminist culture, since it started the "second-wave" of feminism.

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Warnings

Feminism is not about hating men, hating other women for choices they make on their own, rejecting transgender people as either "not real women" or "traitors", or generally doing something that isn't in the name of true equality. These kinds of mindsets will not only make you look immature, but will also put feminism in a bad light. Feminism is the idealistic perspective that every individual has a right to equality.

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