a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
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Harry Potter kind of Day
So I posted my bit about Fred, George, and Angelina and ask I was talking to my friends on Skype about it, I realized that a pairing I like in Fire Emblem is very similar to Fred/Hermione…which is my Potter OTP.
I had to tell one of my best friends, so I hopped on AIM and she had sent me an offline message about the actor who played Crabbe. She had been in London during the riots and apparently Crabbe had been in possession of a homemade bomb he had wanted to use during the riots? Not sure on the details…but Crabbe could have killed her. Which considering what big Potter fans we both are, that would have just been so much worse.
I sign on facebook…and my cousin posted a picture of herself reading Harry Potter by the pool side.
Clearly, it was a Potter Day, so I pulled out my wand, read some Potter fanfiction, looked at some Potter trivia, and decided to sort Dan the Killer into a Hogwarts House.
…Apparently Dan the Killer is a Ravenclaw. The house of lies. Considering I have plans to do a book review series with Dan, not really surprising. I’ll buy him a blue lined robe soon.
I love you, Dan…but you don’t belong in Hufflepuff.
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich?
Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are.
Okay, now I can reblog it!
Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points
Finally a Fred and George AU that doesn’t make me want to set myself on fire.
AU in which George (or Fred) is in Slytherin and Fred (and George) have a passionate seven-year debate over which one of them is the evil twin.
I endorse this. Someone write it.
Include a Fred/Hermione romance that doesn’t make Ron an asshole and I will consider it a commission and literally pay you monies. Real monies. That I earned and offer to you
cedric diggory did not die for all the good harry potter merch to be gryffindor and slytherin
@evilauthor
You should see how much Hufflepuff stuff I got for Christmas. No idea where the boyfriend got it. Not from the Harry Potter store. That’s for damn sure.