People who stay up way too late at night typically experience some, if not all, of the following symptoms:
1. Ability to recite in-depth facts about various infomercial products.
2. Increased awareness of what's happening on social media at all times.
3. Feelings of extreme sadness when people aren’t available for your texts at what some people call ~ridiculous~ hours.
4. Impressive ability to perform a million tiny, quiet cleaning projects.
5. Heightened email activity between the hours of midnight and 3 a.m.
6. Uncontrollable urge to throw shade at people who go to bed early.
7. Tendency to refer to 9 p.m. reservations as an ~early dinner~.
8. Extreme cravings for a second dinner around 1 a.m.
9. Learned ability to exercise while making minimal noise.
10. Increased nonsensical thought tangents after midnight.
11. Plus increased ability to recall every awkward thing you've done in the past five years.
12. Tendency to post statuses/photos/comments on Facebook at 4 a.m. — which you will most likely regret in the morning.
13. Encyclopedic knowledge of restaurants that deliver after midnight.
14. High proficiency in the art of bedroom selfies.
15. Acute sensitivity to cell phone brightness.
16. Feelings of strong aversion to both mornings and the strange people who say they like mornings.
17. Proneness to being totally disoriented when for some ungodly reason you have to wake up early.
18. Reoccurring delusional thoughts about your bedtime.
19. Followed by feelings of panic when the sun starts to rise and you still haven't gone to bed.
