How To Fix A Marriage When Your Spouse Is Recovering From Addiction
It is a well known fact that marriage and addiction don’t mix. It is hard to watch the person you love battle addiction and even harder to watch the effects of drugs and addiction on your marriage.
Figuring out how to fix a marriage is the last thing on an addict’s mind so it’s no surprise that couples dealing with addiction are four times more likely to divorce than other couples. The surprising thing, however, is that most of these divorces happen while the addicted spouse is recovering. This is because it is very hard to get over the lies, anger and hurt feelings that come with dealing with an addicted spouse.
Your Marriage Will Be Different
You cannot get back the same marriage you had before the addiction and recovery, and your marital problems won’t go away just because the drug use has stopped. You will probably continue to have fights even after the drug use has stopped and it is very likely that your spouse will be a completely different person from the person you thought you married. You have to stop looking back at the “blissful” pre-addiction days and start working on getting to know each other again and creating a new marriage.
Get Professional Help
Figuring out how to fix a marriage while your spouse is in addiction recovery is not going to happen without professional counseling. Trying to do it alone is the fastest route to failure.
A counselor helps you work on forgiving your spouse and letting go of all the anger and hurt that has built up from years of dealing with an addicted spouse. He or she also helps you to stop blaming your spouse for “ruining your marriage” and realize that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing on your husband or wife’s part.
Counseling also prepares you for potential setbacks and relapses and teaches you not to take them personally. This way you are less likely to feel betrayed if they happen and can offer your partner the support he or she needs.
Simply put, professional counselors are the only people who are qualified to give advice on how to fix marriage after addiction.
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