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China Bans Videos of People Eating Bananas

Well, fuck. China has reportedly banned people from seductively eating bananas on film. I am devastated.

According to state outlet CCTVNews, the country has banned people from live-streaming their consumption of the delicious yellow fruit. It’s supposedly part of a larger effort to crack down on “inappropriate and erotic content online,” and the regulations will require live-streaming services to “monitor all their output twenty four hours a day, seven days a week,” the outlet reported.

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Here’s what a few random Facebook commenters thought of the move:

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“Dick is dick!” Quite right, Facebook commenter.

As Shanghaiist points out, this not the first time this year China has attempted to cleanse the internet of its “ills.” The country has also waged battles against a LGBT-themed web series and swearing.

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This most recent ban, however, is another thing entirely. What did bananas ever do to you, regulators? Maybe people are just trying to meet their daily fruit requirements. Maybe they really like peeling back fruit casings. Maybe they just want to have some goddamn fun.

And now they can’t. Now, excuse me while I go find some alternate weekend plans.

[BBC]