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Dean was sure he had never seen a donut look as delicious as this one did.
He had bought three because he was really hungry, and after he had eaten the two he couldn't get himself to eat the last one. It was just perfectly browned, with dark glaze and some blue sprinkles here and there. It looked rather random but Dean really liked how good it looked on the donut.
After having had the donut in his possession for a week, he decided that he was going to call it Castiel. A pretty random name, but he was happy nonetheless.
A week later, he was at a loss for what to do. He had displayed the donut on his kitchen counter with tiny flags and umbrellas on the side that showed off just how pretty the donut actually was, but Dean felt lonely.
He didn't like taking women with him home anymore, because they always questioned his weird obsession with his donut.
But Dean was a sex driven man. He couldn't live without it, so in the third week, as he was walking naked around his home, he stood staring at his donut for a long time. Then, he picked it up and tried sticking his fingers through. And then he tried to see if his dick would fit. It did.
So Dean started thrusting and thrusting until he came all over himself and his beautiful donut.
And he did it again the next day.
And the day after that. It was some of the best sex he had ever had.
Dean fell in love. He fell in love with his sprinkled donut and he came over it almost everyday. He had started taking it to bed, sleeping beside it every day and spilling out his biggest secrets, becoming very intimate with his beloved object.
Two months after he had purchased the donut, he invited his brother over to watch a game and drink some beer.
Only, Sam didn't know about the donut, so when Sam went to fetch some more beer, he also came out with half a donut in his hand and his mouth full.
"Aw, Dean, where do you buy your donuts? This is really great."
Dean threw Sam out, and in his rage didn't talk to his brother for four weeks.
After Dean had spent that month crying himself to sleep every night over his long lost lover, he went and purchased a new donut that looked just like the first one.
And this one he named Cas.