2.
Ask them to say things in an over-the-top Scottish accent.
3.
Assume they have an encyclopaedic knowledge of Scottish politics.
4.
Talk about your views on the Loch Ness Monster.
5.
Tell them how you've never been to Scotland, but you've heard it's "nice".
6.
Assume that Scotland is stuck in the past and that we don't have Wi-Fi, electricity, or indoor toilets.
7.
Talk about how your great-great-great-great grandfather was Scottish, so that means you are too.
9.
Shout "Och aye the noo!" at them repeatedly as soon as you find out they're from Scotland.
10.
Talk about how it always rains in Scotland.
11.
Laugh about how hilarious the whole "legal tender" thing is.
12.
Astound them with your lack of Scottish geographical knowledge.
13.
Tell them you know someone from Scotland and ask if they've ever met them.
14.
Pronounce things incorrectly.
15.
Ask about battered Mars Bars.
16.
Make a joke about Andy Murray being British if he wins, Scottish if he loses.
17.
Have a meltdown when the weather forecast predicts an above average amount of wind/rain/snow.
18.
Wonder aloud what a "real Scotsman" wears under his kilt.
19.
Make any kind of comment about how rubbish Scotland is at sport.
20.
Call American whiskey "Scotch".
21.
Ask any Scottish person if they think your impression of a Scottish accent is any good.
