Have you ever had friends who were going through a rough time? Maybe they had a family member who died? Or they were struggling with depression or addiction? Or maybe they just needed a helping hand after a difficult breakup or a bad situation at home?
How have you helped a friend in a time of need?
Lisa Damour offers parents advice on how to provide guidance for when their child’s friend is in crisis. She writes:
It’s not unusual for teenagers to need adult guidance on caring for their friends who have problems. Though teens are often characterized as being persistently self-centered, or for girls in particular, mean, anyone who spends a lot of time with adolescents can tell you that those stereotypes aren’t fair. Teenagers are devoted to their friends and, more often than not, they will sacrifice their time and comfort to buoy a friend who is sinking.
Teenagers are usually great supports for one another. They effectively advise, encourage and console their peers, often outside of adults’ awareness. Yet teens can also find themselves ministering to friends who have troubles that go far beyond what any adolescent should be expected to manage. This, ideally, is when teenagers look to adults for help.
Experience has taught me that adolescents often wait until they are frightened for a friend’s safety or feel themselves to be drowning in the valiant effort to rescue a peer before they will alert an adult to what’s going on. When parents learn that their daughter’s best friend is cutting herself, or that their son stays up through the night to text with a buddy who is falling apart, they know that they need to step in. But how?
And then the article offers some practical suggestions for parents:
- Begin by offering reassurance.
- Extend empathy.
- Move forward together.
- Prepare your teenager for resistance.
Students: Read the entire article, then tell us …
— How have you helped a friend in a time of need? What was the situation, and what support did you try to give?
— Looking back, do you wish you had handled the situation differently?
— Did your parents — or another responsible adult — know what was going on? Did you reach out to them for support?
— Has a friend ever been there for you during a difficult time in your life? How did she or he do in trying to support you?
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