Are You a Narcissist? 10 Behaviors

Am I a narcissist? The meaning of "narcissistic" is little more than a way to describe the personality trait of being vain. Narcissism is not necessarily an indication of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Signs of narcissism can instead range from having a large ego to experiencing a sense of self that's pathologically grand.

Narcissistic behavior may also include the need to compete with others and always win or manipulate to get what you want.

1. You Like To Be the Center of Attention

Fabricating or embellishing your achievements is one of the signs of NPD. You might embellish your stories, spinning them to impress your audience. You may paint yourself as the boss's most trusted advisor, the most flexible yogi in your class, or the most popular neighbor on the block.

These fabrications are easy to excuse as little white lies help you tell a better tale. They also serve a riskier purpose: to present an idealized version of yourself that distracts you from the fear of not being good enough.

2. You Have a Habit of Giving Unsolicited Advice

You might recommend the best restaurants in Portland or share your wisdom on parenting through the terrible twos. The problem is you may do so in a way that suggests you are more sophisticated than everyone in the room.

Research has shown that narcissists have an obvious superiority complex. You are likely expressing an inflated sense of self at the expense of those you are supposedly helping.

3. You Detest Waiting in Line

Narcissists live their lives with a sense of entitlement and expect the world to revolve around them. You might get frustrated if someone does not respond to your voicemail right away. You may feel you deserve special treatment on some level, whether among friends and family or at the DMV.

4. Your Ambition Knows No Bounds

Having dreams that you are working hard to achieve is one thing. It's another to believe you are destined for greatness. This type of grandiose assumption is a classic symptom of narcissism.

Narcissists believe they are naturally unique and part of an elite class that deserves only the best. They prefer to associate with other "high-status" people.

The need to be admired by or receive special treatment from your peers may influence this feeling of superiority. You may obsess over status symbols and even belittle anyone you do not perceive to be part of the same exclusive club.

5. You Know How To Turn on the Charm

You have got a knack for making other people feel important. All the admiration you shower on another person is part of an unspoken deal: You expect them to make you feel just as attractive and intelligent. This pompous behavior is a textbook trait of NPD.

6. You Are Competitive

A narcissist must win in virtually every domain. Losing is out of the question for them. This compulsive drive to come out on top can make it difficult to celebrate other people's successes in a relentless quest to prove your dominance.

7. You're Famous for Holding Grudges

Narcissists tend to be confrontational when it comes to others. Rather than deal with their hurt feelings, they get angry and seek revenge in one form or another. These individuals may also insult, belittle, or intimidate other people when possible.

8. It's Never Your Fault

You may not be narcissistic if you own your mistakes, apologize for them, and try to fix them. Immediately flipping the script to directly blame others, in contrast, is a sign of narcissism. A lack of empathy is another hallmark trait among people with NPD.

9. You Take Advantage of People

Manipulation is another part of narcissism. Taking advantage of others may not be intentional, but it happens if you view situations in terms of what they mean to you. This means you are not afraid to manipulate or bully others to get what you want.

10. You Crave High Levels of Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Narcissists want to satisfy their need for what's called "narcissistic supply." This consists of attention and an ideal life mixed with excitement and anxiety.

Narcissists desire to share a sense of grandiosity, and they can fall apart without it. They may engage in dangerous living, reckless behaviors, or substance use.

Benefits of Narcissistic Behavior

Narcissistic behavior can sometimes be helpful. People often view leaders characterized as narcissistic, for example, as charming and self-confident. This type of leadership has been associated with efficient communication and active collaboration.

Other possible benefits of narcissistic behavior include:

• Being more active in unpredictable situations
• Choosing relatively positive actions that help with finding one's personal meaning in life
• Performing better in terms of change, reform, and crises
• Striving to be recognized and viewed as successful

Red Flags in Relationships

It's important to note the above signs when you are interacting with others and creating relationships with them. Some red flags in relationships might manifest as:

• Constant competition: Narcissists believe there's always a winner and a loser, even within their close personal relationships. They'll do whatever it takes to win.
• Envy and jealousy: Someone with narcissistic attributes might get envious of others if they interfere with or "threaten" your relationship with them.
• Lack of commitment: A person may initially show interest in dating you, but it turns into a situation in which you are only one who's committed.
• Love bombing: This is a tactic in which a person gives their partner numerous gifts and over-the-top affection in a short amount of time at the start of a relationship.

A Quick Review

Anyone can be narcissistic at any point. Narcissistic behaviors may have a significant influence on a person and their relationships. Expressions of narcissism can look like wanting all of the attention, being extremely competitive, or not wanting to take the blame when you are in the wrong. Talk to a mental healthcare provider if you find these traits greatly affect you or someone you know.

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