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"What does a girl have to do to get soy caramel cappuccino around here?" A high voice asks. "No whip," it amends.
Tony rolls his eyes and just wants to get through the lobby of his tower and to his workshop, but Happy leans in and whispers, "She's cute."
Tony considers his options but not for long, because he always has time for a beautiful woman. Tony spins on his foot and answers, "Here? About 8 bucks, but for you we can work it out."
As per usual, Tony delivers his pick up line before he sees her fully. If he had, he might have aborted the mission. She is not his usual type to say the least. She is pale and short, 5'5 at the most and is dressed in rain boots, galaxy print leggings and more scarves than sense.
But her lips, though. Her lips are luscious, blood red and, after an initial moment of surprise, they curve into this coy smile that could mean very good things or very bad things for him.
"And what is it you think I'll do for a cup of coffee, Mr. Stark?" She asks
Tony shrugs. "A good one? I don't know. Wouldn't mind finding out, though."
Her smile turns from sultry to contemplative to amused in two seconds flat. She lets off a giggle that would wound a lesser man. It's a good thing he is not a lesser man. "The what would you do for a Klondike Bar routine? I'm a little disappointed."
He sighs. "Yeah, wasn't my best. To be fair, nobody actually comes because of the line; usually, they're hooked by the promise of the Tony Stark Experience... Trademark," he adds.
She snorts and says, "I wouldn't be surprised if you actually have that trademarked. Does it come with a 'I Rode *the* Tony Stark and Lived' t-shirt?"
Tony smirks and thinks that he may have lost the battle, but the war is not over. He is about to answer her, but then her attention is dragged to someone or something beyond his shoulder.
Her face lights up like she hears for the first time, like in those videos he will never admit he watches and she brushes by him like he *isn't* Tony Stark. "Dad!" She calls.
War over, Tony thinks, then he turns around to see her father and he blanches. First of all, she is being spun around in man's arm and in that moment, she looks all of fifteen. Second the man who is embracing her is none other Bruce.
So that's Darcy, the daughter Bruce has not seen since the accident. That means that she has to be at least 23, so he doesn't feel like a total pervert, but that doesn't make up for the fact that he just tried pick up the Hulk's daughter. That fact has him praying to a god that he doesn't believe in that she will never, ever feel the need to tell her father about this.
He looks to Happy, who doesn't quite know all the details but easily puts two and two together after she calls him 'Dad.' He has the wherewithal to look apologetic when Tony fixes him with a glare, but sorry won't do much if he's dead.
"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" Tony accuses. "You're trying to kill me and take my place. JARVIS?"
"Yes, Sir?"
"Delete, oh, the last five minutes up until just before that girl sees Bruce for the first time. And if the Hulk, or Bruce, kills me, let the police know that it was all Happy's fault."
"Noted."