1. You refuse to text anybody that turns your messages green.
Anytime someone gives me their # and the message stays green and doesn't become blue for iMessage, I question if they gave me the wrong #.
2. You've had the "storage full" message more times than you can count.
3. You've turned off the keyboard sounds because if you're obsessed with your iPhone, there's no fucking way you can stand listening to that tap tap fucking TAP all day.
When someone has the keyboard clicks sound turned on their iPhone...
4. You've had to explain to an older family member the joys of having an iPhone in an otherwise dark and cruel world.
Nan got an iPhone and when explaining it to my mum she said she got an Apple 😂😂
Seriously Nan, how did you live without a front camera?
5. You have three pages of apps that you don't even use.
6. But you can never commit to deleting any of them because what if you genuinely need to use your iPhone to pretend to drink beer?
7. The only reason you use the health app is to see how many steps you took while dancing on a night out.
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 3,711 steps around the casino buffet last trip .... So I got that going for me.
8. For the love of Apple, you ~really~ tried to be on board with Apple Music despite the fact it's a pile of glitch-shit.
I'm sorry Apple Music, I tried, I really did. I wanted to like you, but you're nowhere near as amazing as Spotify
You probably gave up after the three month trial period ended.
9. You use FaceTime most Sunday mornings to catch up with friends that made questionable decisions the night before.
Every Sunday me and lyss sit on FaceTime and tell each other about our drunken weekend mistakes. I look forward to it all week I love it❤️
10. You never use Siri.
Seriously, that's for amateurs.
11. You've gone through 29697410673 charger cables.
12. And lamented how much each one costs.
why are iphone chargers so expensive? like i could buy a phone with 7 day battery for that money smh
13. You've bought a three metre charging cable so you can use your iPhone properly while it's charging.
having a 3m long charger for my phone has changed my life
14. You have your old iPhone in a drawer at home because you can't bring yourself to chuck it away or sell it.
This house has way too many iPhones
"No I can't just chuck it out, mum. Would you neglect me if you had another child? Actually, don't answer that."
15. You have your read notifications turned off.
How you turn off the "read" notification on iPhone? Cause I be tryna act like ion get people message but they see that I read it 😂😂😂
I'm not falling into that trap of letting you know I'm ignoring you.
16. You speak fluent Apple emoji.
I know what you and that eggplant want.
17. Your battery mostly goes on trying to find the love of your life.
Deleted Tinder, Grindr, Lavendr and Hornet 😂 expecting my battery life to go through the roof!
A mission that's still a work in progress.
18. You're so obsessed with the colour of your iPhone, you refuse to buy a case that will ruin the whole aesthetic.
Imagine smashin your iPhone 3 times in less than a year and still not buying a case or insurance. No, surely nobody is that dumb. Ohhhh wait
I did not buy a rose gold iPhone to cover it with a shitty fucking case, OK?
19. You would rather sit on the hand of Freddy Krueger than go through the pain of dropping your iPhone face down.
someone just dropped their iPhone and I'm just....my heart stopped
The world is cruel where bad things happen to good people.
20. You refuse to pick up the phone when you drop it face down because you know for damn sure the screen is going to be cracked and your existence may as well just cease there.
She just dropped the iPhone 6
You know as soon as an iPhone hits the floor, it's all over.
21. You're probably reading this from your iPhone.
