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You have come to a realization. Your relationship(s) are not healthy...they are lacking. They are not going to initiate a recovery, you have to do it. But how do you begin? Read this article and hopefully, get some ideas.
Steps
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Refuse to make excuses to others. More than likely, that is what you have been doing, ad nauseum. No longer.
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Refuse to lie. Be sure that they understand that you have told your last lie to the boss (or whomever), white or otherwise. And follow through.
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Force them to see the results of their behavior: if they break something, don't fix it. If they throw up, don't clean it up, etc.
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Don't bail them out. They got themselves in, they can get themselves out.
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Don't pay bills or anything that is not necessary for your safety or well being.
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Don't be part of 'nowhere' arguments. If they aren't going anywhere, leave, read, or anything else, but argue.
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If you aren't prepared to follow through, don't make threats.
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If possible, talk about your concerns with the person in a non-emotional way.
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Locate and use a support system. There are several: Al-Anon, CoDA, Nar-Anon, a sponsor, codependency treatment, private therapy or counseling, a spiritual advisor or minister, or trustworthy friend.Advertisement
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Tips
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Know that you aren't alone. Unfortunately, enabling is all too common.Thanks
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