This Meat Cake Will Change Your Dog's Life

Hamburger Cake (as first appeared on Lucky Peach)

INGREDIENTS

6 lbs hamburger meat

hot dogs

mashed potato mix, hydrated

ketchup and mustard

parsley/lettuce/a tiny kale leaf/really just anything green

SUPPLIES:

cake pans

toothpicks

1 dog

PREPARATION

1. Line three small (around 7-inch, 6-inch, and 5-inch) cake pans with parchment paper and heat the oven to 350°F. Pack a bunch of the meat into the cake pans snugly, and put them into the oven.

2. Bake for 30–45 minutes, or until the meat is no longer red in the middle. (Remember: food safety is extremely important, even when you're making deranged crafts.) Let them cool for about 10 minutes and drain any meat juice that has gathered in the pans.

3. Set the largest meatcake layer onto a dinner plate and spread some of the mashed potatoes over the top. Set the next largest meatcake layer on top of this, and top with another scoop of mashed potatoes. Finally, add the smallest meatcake layer. This will look like a cute little hat, worn by a melting meat monster.

4. Now, go crazy with the mashed potatoes, covering the top and sides of the layers. Once all surfaces are well covered, ask an adult for help to smooth out the edges. (Anna was the adult in this situation.) Decorate the edges of the cake with peas and dots of Sriracha*.

5. If you are making the meatcake for a dog wedding, or just a regular wedding, you may consider adding a little hot dog bride and groom (or bride and bride or groom and groom) to the top. To do this, slice a hot dog in half horizontally. Paint on faces using ketchup and mustard (toothpicks make excellent condiment paintbrushes), add a little wedding dress made out of kale or another leafy green, then stick them into the top of the cake using toothpicks.

* Consider leaving out the Sriracha for your pup pal.

This meat-tastic recipe and photos were originally featured on Lucky Peach. Thanks to LP's Anna Hezel and Gabriella Paiella for allowing the republication here. Be sure to follow Fritz on Instagram for adventures in food and more!