How to Buy a Promise Ring

Co-authored by Luis Congdon

Last Updated: December 4, 2021 References

You’ve reached an important point in your relationship, and you want to buy your significant other a promise ring. A promise ring shows your dedication to the relationship and demonstrates your love for your partner. But picking out a ring can be overwhelming! With all the materials and styles, it’s hard to know where to begin. It's important to think carefully about what kind of ring you want to buy before going shopping. This makes the whole process much easier.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Figuring out the Basics

1
Decide what finger the ring is for. Promise rings traditionally go on the ring finger of the left hand, and are replaced by the engagement ring if you and your partner get engaged. However, there is a much looser code when it comes to promise rings than there is with engagement or wedding rings. Pick what finger seems right for you and your partner. ^{[1]
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- If you don’t want the promise ring to eventually be replaced by the engagement ring, consider buying the promise ring for a finger other than the ring finger.
- Sometimes friends give each other promise rings, though it is not as common as romantic partners. If you are buying a ring for a friend, consider a different finger than the ring finger.
- Some people even wear promise rings around their neck. Consider buying a chain for the promise ring also if your friend or partner doesn’t like wearing rings.
2
Find out their ring size. You will need to know your significant other’s ring size before buying them the promise ring. If the ring is a surprise, do not ask them for their size. There are several ways that you can find it out without spoiling the surprise. ^{[2]
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- Look around for ring boxes in the place they store their jewelry. Some boxes print the ring size on the box.
- Print out a ring sizer. You can find ring size charts on the Internet. Make sure to print it out to size, and then place one of your partner’s rings over the circle that best lines up to the diameter of the ring. This will give you their ring size.
- Trace the inside of a ring they wear with a pencil onto a piece of paper. If you visit a jewelry store, they will be able to find what size they are from the tracing.
- Ask their friends or family. If you know your significant other's friends or family well, consider asking them. Only do this if you trust them not to tell your significant other that you asked.
- Ask your partner. If you and your partner have already talked about getting a promise ring, simply ask them what their ring size is.
3
Pick a price point. You will want to pick a price point before you actually go to purchase the ring. This way you will know exactly what to look for, and you won’t end up buying a ring that you can’t afford. Do some online research and look at typical ring prices. ^{[3]
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- Promise rings are typically cheaper than engagement rings, with prices at mainstream jewelers starting as low as around $200 and going up to $2,000.
4
Decide if you are also buying a ring for yourself. Traditionally, a man buys the promise ring for the woman. However, you may decide that you and your significant other should both wear promise rings as a testament of your love for each other. Or you might be buying a matching ring for yourself and your friend.
- You can either buy a ring that matches the one you are giving your significant other, or you can purchase a simpler one.
- If you do decide that you want to buy a promise ring, factor the cost of this ring into the overall price point.
5
Decide whether or not to talk to your significant other before buying the ring. There are pluses and minuses that come with talking to your partner about buying a promise ring.
- A plus is that you can ask them what kind of ring they want, and the process of choosing will be much easier.
- A drawback is that telling them you are buying the ring will take the surprise out of the moment you give it to them. Decide whether or not it’s worth it to talk to them about the ring beforehand.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Choosing the Ring Design

1
Consider your partner’s taste in jewelry. Your partner will likely be wearing this ring every day, so you want to make sure to pick out something they will like. Look at their jewelry collection, especially their rings, and consider what styles and metals they prefer. Ask yourself these questions before buying them the promise ring: ^{[4]
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- Does your partner wear small, delicate pieces or larger, statement pieces?
- Do they wear pieces that contain precious stones or diamonds, or do they prefer solid metals?
- Does your partner wear mostly warm-toned metals like gold and copper? Or do they wear cool-toned metals like silver and titanium?
2
Choose the right kind of metal based on your price range. You need to keep your partner’s preference in metals in mind, but you also need to consider your price range. You should be able to settle on a ring that satisfies both your partner’s taste and your spending limits. Think about what metal you want before buying the ring. ^{[5]
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- Gold and platinum rings, or rings with diamonds or gems, are on the pricier side.
- Titanium and silver are on the cheaper side.
3
Decide if you want a symbolic design. There are several standard designs for promise rings that symbolize you and your partner’s love and your promise to each other.
- A heart design is the most traditional design. The heart symbolizes your love for one another.
- A Claddagh ring is a traditional promise ring design that originated in Ireland. The Claddagh design, showing two hands coming from either side to grasp a central crowned heart, symbolizes loyalty and love. It can be really special if your significant other is Irish, as they will recognise the symbol. Explain why you chose the ring and what the symbol means to you. If you are buying this ring, research the meaning and explain it to them. The crown is loyalty, the heart is love and the hands are friendship. ^{[6]
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- Rings containing the infinity symbol are also common promise rings. The infinity symbol represents a love that will last forever.
- Three-stone rings are another promise ring design. The three stones represent the past, the present and future that you share with your partner.
4
Choose whether to engrave the ring. Many choose to engrave their promise ring with a personal message. This makes the ring more personal and emphasizes the reason for giving the ring. You can choose your engraving to be on the inside of the ring, or on the outside so it’s visible when your partner wears it. ^{[7]
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- Engraving both your names, like “Julia and Daniel”, is a sweet way to make the ring more personalized.
- You could simply engrave “I love you”.
- You could also engrave a date, either your anniversary or the date that you are giving them the promise ring.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Shopping for the Ring

1
Look for jewelers in your area. Do some research online and find jewelry stores nearby. You will want to go to several stores, so ideally the stores you go to should be close together as opposed to hours apart.
- Go online to their sites and look at prices. It’s better to eliminate certain stores from the get go rather than go there and realize they are out of your price range.
2
Go to several stores. You don’t want to only go to one store when you are buying a promise ring. It puts too much pressure on just one buying experience, and you may come out with a ring that they won’t like. Instead, try to go to at least three different places. ^{[8]
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- Think about going to at least one larger, more well known store, and also to a smaller, boutique-style jeweler.You may find very different offerings between the two.
- Think about bringing a friend along who can help you. Also consider bringing someone who knows your significant other well and who knows what they do and don't like.
Be honest and direct about your price point, material preference, and style of ring you are looking for. The salesperson can direct you to the best rings for you, and it could save you time. You also will be less distracted and won’t leave with a ring that isn’t exactly what you want.
At some big jewelry stores, salespeople are paid by commission. Don’t feel like you need to leave with a ring that day, and don’t let them try to sell you anything outside your price range. Stand firm in what you want and if in doubt, leave with a business card and decide what ring you want after you have seen all your options. ^{[9]
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5
Buy a ring online. Buying a promise ring online can save you money. If you are underwhelmed by the rings that you see in jewelry stores, or if you are worried about spending too much, look online. Stick to reputable sites and look up customer reviews of the online stores. ^{[10]
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- Make sure to keep measurements in mind when you are shopping online. Sometimes on a screen a ring can look much smaller or larger than it actually is, so always carefully look at the measurements listed in the description.
- If you are considering buying a ring with gems or diamonds, make sure the online site is certified by a trade association like the Jewelers of America, the American Gem Society or the Gemological Institute of America. ^{[11]
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6
Make sure there is an exchange policy. Before buying your ring, make sure there is an exchange policy. As hard as you worked to pick a ring that they'll like, there’s the possibility that they will want a different one. Do not buy a ring if there is no way to return it.
- If you are buying an engraved or personalized ring, make sure the return policy covers your ring.
7
Pay for the ring. If you have the money up front, go ahead and buy the ring! If you don’t have the money, you have a couple options. The best thing to do would be to wait a couple months until you have enough money.
- Many jewelers also have payment plans that are interest free for a certain number of months. Keep in mind that you may have to open a retail credit card with the jeweler, and if you fail to pay on time it could affect your credit. ^{[12]
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Giving the Promise Ring

1
Pick a special day. Waiting for an important day like Valentines Day, their birthday, or your anniversary is a way to make giving them the ring extra special. Think ahead and see if you any of these days are coming up. ^{[13]
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- If you don’t want to wait that long or nothing is coming up, don’t worry. There are other ways to make the occasion special.
2
Plan a special date. Try to make the day special and romantic even before you give your significant other the ring. Take them to their favorite restaurant or do an activity that you both enjoy. This will make giving them the ring even more special. ^{[14]
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- If your partner is up to it, you could also hold a special ceremony day in front of your friends and family in which both of you will wear the promise rings as a sign of dedication and love towards your partner, but you won't get married or call it a wedding.^{[15]
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  Expert Source
  
  Luis Congdon
  Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 3 September 2021.}
- If you are giving the ring to a friend, do not do anything out of the ordinary, or anything that could be seen as romantic. It could give them the wrong idea about the ring.
3
Wait for the right moment. You want the moment you give them the ring to be intimate and special. You don’t want to be interrupted, so make sure that you are in a place with just the two of you.
- You could also make giving them the ring a fun challenge by making a scavenger hunt or hiding it in a place that they will find that night, like on the bedside table or underneath their pillow.
4
Put the ring on their finger. Present them the ring (or wait until they find it) and slip it onto their finger. Look into their eyes as you put it on their finger: this will make it even more romantic. ^{[16]
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- Don’t get down on one knee. You don’t want to do anything that will make them think that this is an engagement ring. This could make them confused or even disappointed!
5
Explain the ring. Your friend or significant other may not be sure what a promise ring is. First, tell them it's a promise ring, not an engagement ring. Tell them what the ring means to you and why you bought it. Also explain to them what makes them so special to you. Your partner should be incredibly touched and excited after you tell them about the ring and put it on their finger. ^{[17]
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- For example, you could say something like, "I bought you this promise ring because I wanted to show my commitment to you. I want you to be able to look down and remember exactly how I feel about you."
6
Don’t be upset if they don't like the ring. If your partner or friend doesn’t want the ring, don’t be upset. It doesn’t mean that they don't like you or want to be with you. It may just be that they don't like the tradition of the promise ring. ^{[18]
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- You can ask them why they don't want the ring, but try not to sound accusatory.
- Remember that your significant other or friend is incredibly important to you. You may feel hurt but try not to do or say anything that could hurt their feelings.
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Tips

Make sure to know exactly what you want before visiting a jewelry store.

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It’s ok to be a little flexible once you see all your ring options, but do not spend any more that the limit you decided on.

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Warnings

Promise rings are not to be taken lightly. Don’t give your friend or significant other a promise ring unless you’re serious about your relationship.

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If you can’t afford to pay up front for the ring, be careful about borrowing money or starting a payment plan. If you can’t pay by the time you promised, you can risk your credit score.

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