Love when this post resurfaces to my dash
“But what will you look like when you’re old and wrinkly!?!?!” “Fucking epic”
I want this to be me when I’m old
im screaming why does this child look 40 years old omg
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lowkey upset that I’m not graduating with my class this year (which i will never admit to anyone) but mental health before everything i will go back and graduate next year.
help me make a imporant choice on my senior year.
my tumblr friends please help me make a very important choice. I need to pick by tomorrow. should I go to night school my senior year 2:15-5:15 four days a week no homework or go to regular school 9 classes or go back to the school I got sent to when I got kicked out easy and more supportive environment but restrictive. my friends are begging me to go back to regular school and I kinda want too but its so much work and I got a bad rep there so the teachers will be out for me but I miss my friends in school. Im very behind on credits I prob wont be able to graduate but its possible night school also has so many drug dealers and kids who use and idk if that’s good for me to be around but It would be way less work so would the other school but its an hour bus ride there and back everyday help what should I do?
“Age is just a number” means senior citizens can still find love.
“Age is just a number” means middle-aged people can still find love.
“Age is just a number” means 30+ people can still find love.
“Age is just a number” is not an excuse to be a pedophile.
Nothing is an excuse to be a pedophile.
So don’t.
Just don’t.
I woke up today feeling rather down. I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly and than it hit me that today makes one year since my bad heroin overdose. At this very time last year I was in my deepest, darkest battle with drug addiction. I was using large amounts of heroin everyday, any mental strength I had was diminshing faster than i was able to replenish it. I was in my senior year of high school and couldn’t make it through my 3 hours of night school without having to go shoot up in the bathroom. I not only mentally relied on smack, but my body would feel as if I had been beaten up without it, I was physically dependent too. Despite this major struggle with addiction I had managed to use the manipulation I learnd from being an addict to keep my addiction a secret from anyone who could take away my comfort, my sense of serenity-heroin. On this day last year my world unravled. I wasnt old enough to buy needles so while waiting for a new supply I decided to sniff my dope. I was a heavy iv user so when my dealer told me to be careful this shit was fire I shrugged him off and proceeded to sniff the bun of smack that I’d usually slam. I was content with my high and nodded off. When I woke HOURS later(how i learned overdoses can occur houses after use and from sniffing ) I had the house to myself so I put the empty bags in my jacket and went upstairs to dispose of them outside. Before I reached outside I must of passed out because I vaguley remember waking up on the floor and unable to move I felt so peaceful though so cell phone in hand i called my friend and talked to her to tell her i loved her. I knew i was dying but was to afraid of My consequences if i calles for help because I was ignorant to good samitarian laws. My neighbor decided to stop by and when she arrived she called out to me and recieved no answer so she searched the rooms for me and when she located me I was turning blue, unconscious and not breathing she had her son try to revive me while she called the police he lifted me onto the bed and the baggies fell from my pocket when the police arrived they say the bags and knew instantly that i had overdosed. (Because of good samitarian law that i wasnt aware of i couldnt be charged) They shot me with narcan(the drug that reverses opiate overdoses) and I remember waking up hearing the one officer stating her opinion that “we should just let the junkies die” I started to argue with her but before I could get my point across i fell unconscious again. the next thing i recall is waking up in the hospital with oxygen and my mother by my side. Apparently it had taken 3 shots of narcan to fully revive me. My secret was out. My neighbors, friends and family were in shock and disbelief as for me I was trying to figure out when i could leave the hospital and get high because I felt miserable. To make a long story short I was released that night and got high shortly after arriving back home. I ended up getting laced shit and had a bad trip. Two weeks later I was forced to get Clean by the legal system. I stayed sober for 9 months. Im feeling so down because I should have a success story to share with you all the near death expirence should of been my rock bottom but it wasnt. Im currently using and I wonder why the hell I survied.. I dont deserve too when so many lovely people have lost their lives to addiction. I once was an addict who was ignorant about harm reduction and overdose prevention, today I’m still am addict but I am very knowledgeable of harm reduction. I don’t want to see any of you lose or almost lose your lives due to lack of knowledge about harm reduction and precautionary measures. This is why I try so hard to be honest and raw and share My expirences, mistakes and my story with you all because I care. If I can atleast help one of you than I have a reason that i survived last november..
Life update
I think I should give you all an update on me and my life recently. I’m doing home tutoring for school and am waiting to get into alternative school and will graduate in June (yes im a super senior) I’m working a job at a restraunt and do little jobs on the side as well. I’ve started going to physical therapy again for my back and its been helping. I also just got diagnosed with lupus and a thyroid condition and have started medicine that will hopefully help me feel better and have more energy. I’ve cut some toxic people of my life as well which has been hard but necessary. I have a psychiatrist appointment the first week in janaury and have decided to give medicine another try. I’m also in search of a therapist ( so hard to find one who is a good match for me) and I’m going to be starting a suboxone clinic soon. There is more little things but I dont want to bore you. I want to get better. I hope that my life starts to come together soon. Please just know that I’m trying.
I hope you know how truly proud of you I am. honestly, all of that is hard and very traumatic and it’s tremendously impressive you can handle all of that.
Thank you so much.💖💖
afukkincowboy-blog asked:
Still in school?
Yes senior I go to night school
Not gonna lie it sucks watching all my friends start senior year without me and seeing the pictures without me in it. :( I wish my school would let me go back.
Going to take my senior pics today to make my mom happy because I can’t graduate so I don’t see a point but she wants them
seccretly
