Work Text:
Promise
Promise. Webster's defines promise as a declaration that something will or will not be done.
"Nothing happened, Kurt. Honestly. We didn't even kiss," Blaine moaned, exasperated. He saw his boyfriend's expression turn grave at that. "Babe, I promise you." They had only been together a short while, and they had already had this conversation countless times. "Look, I was confused. I knew I wanted you, but something about kissing Rachel that night... I don't know. It messed me up. But I'm here now, and nothing can take that away from you. I promise."
Kurt looked at his boyfriend. Rachel had been acting differently since their date and he was determined to figure out why. He didn't want to have anything interrupting his relationship with Blaine or Rachel, but something had to have happened that night. Besides, his boyfriend may be able to hide a lot of things from a lot of people, but he surely couldn't hide the fact that he was hiding something - at least not from Kurt. He had been studying that boy's hazel eyes since his first day at Dalton Academy.
Blaine's cell phone buzzed away on the bedside table. Rachel. "We need to talk. Meet me at the Lima Bean. 5:30. Please.
A sweater strewn haphazardly over the bedpost. A neat blazer lay on the floor. A tanned hand trembles as it moves deeper into the girl's dark, straight hair. "You can help me find my way," the boy says, breathlessly, into her ear.
"Don't stop," she moans as the two figures entwine.
Pounding hearts. Staggered breaths. Squeaking springs. Small moans. Then, silence.
"What did we just do?" he mutters, running a hand through his now untamed curls. "I'm sorry, Rachel..." He got dressed silently and walked out, shutting the door behind him.
Rachel rolled over and exhaled. That did not go as she had planned.
Where have you been? Is this some stupid game?
I meant it when I said I need to talk to you
I understand, but Ivy, nothing's changed
You have no idea what I'm going through!
I'll say it one more time
I'm sorry I don't feel the same
We had ourselves a moment, but it's gone
My head's in thirty different places
Please, just try to understand
Let's leave things at that and just move on!
As she paces the front door of the Lima Bean, Rachel thumbs through her phone. If he was running late, he should have tried to get in touch with her. He's a reasonable guy, so why wasn't he showing some sort of common courtesy now? "Reasonable," she laughs to herself. "Right." Finally, a large black SUV comes rolling into the parking lot. The girl takes a deep breath and begins to approach the vehicle as Blaine steps out. "Where were you? This is important."
"Rachel, listen, it was one night and it was a mistake above all else. I'm with Kurt now. I'm gay. I've told you this a hundred times," Blaine said. It wasn't an exaggeration, either. You'd be amazed how many times a person can answer one question in a little over two months. "I'm sorry. I really am. I was confused," he went on. "You know, you and Kurt are so much the same sometimes."
"The difference is you're lying to him," Rachel countered. "He's asked me almost as many times as I've tried to get in touch with you. He knows. Whether or not he accepts it or if it's confirmed by either of us, he does."
"Well, it never has to be confirmed, does it?"
"No... It does. That's sort of what I'm here to talk to you about. This isn't just about us, anymore."
"Rachel, there is no us! There never was." Blaine was already done with this conversation. He turned back to his car.
Rachel closed her eyes for a moment. Scenes from the last couple of days rushed to mind.
Rachel sat cross legged on her bed. The scene of the crime, as it were. She didn't know what to do now. How long had it been? Too long, at best. She knew deep down that the damage had been done. She just... knew.
The next day, she rushed out of Glee again, still nauseous. She wasn't sure what was real and what was nerves. She had herself worked up so much that every time she thought of Blaine, that night or even Kurt, she felt the need to throw up. This time, however, she had been followed.
"Rachel, are you alright?" Mercedes asked from the doorway, seeing a pair of Mary Janes sticking out from under the slightly ajar door of the last stall.
"No, Mercedes. Can you come home with me this afternoon? I need to talk to someone. We just need to make one stop first," Rachel said.
Concerned, Mercedes walked to the other end and sat on the window sill. "Sure thing. What's up?"
"I think it's obvious, isn't it?" Rachel asked. She knew Mercedes had been there for Quinn, so she knew that somewhere, deep down, she knew what she was seeing.
"I'm gonna go ask Mr. Schue if I can take you home now," Mercedes responded, realization dawning. She hopped down off the sill and headed for the door.
"Okay," Rachel said, tears welling in her eyes. "And Mercedes," she turned around, "Thank you."
Mercedes nodded. This was going to be a long couple of months... again.
Rachel sat on the edge of her bathtub as Mercedes sat on the edge of the sink. Both girls stared at the little stick of white plastic in silence. 2 minutes passed. Still, the result they both knew was coming appeared; two pink lines. Neither could speak.
Mercedes was the first to break the silence. "So, does Finn know?"
"Finn? Why would I have told Finn?" Rachel asked, genuinely confused.
"Well, he's the dad, right?"
They hadn't talked about this yet. Mercedes was gonna flip and then tell Kurt... "No... It's Blaine's."
She shook her head. "Blaine, wait!"
That night...We weren't safe!
So tell me how we move on!
I don't know what it is you want from me
I don't have time to hear whatever tale you've spun
I have to write this speech before tonight
Plus, there are all these scenes I have to run
You know what I am saying!
I would never make this up
You're a winner, pat your perfect back!
Way to go, you got me pregnant
Put that in your fucking speech!
You wanted real, well God, you give them that!
Shit...Why are you doing this to me? Shit.
"Rachel, stop," Blaine was getting very frustrated. "Look, I don't know how many ways you want me to say 'I'm sorry' or 'It was a mistake' but I'm tired of it. I'm going back to Dalton. Please, stop calling me. I don't have time for this," he was so sick of people at this point. "I have all of these songs to go over and I have to give a speech for the opening of the new health wing that my parents donated to the school. Goodbye, Rachel."
He was leaving and that would be it. He had to know. She couldn't just let him walk away. "Blaine, I'm pregnant."
"Rachel, Kurt told me you were desperate, but this is beyond anything I could've imagined."
"I wouldn't lie about this. I know the kind of effect this can have on people's lives."
"Are you sure about this? I mean... I don't know," Rachel was a bit uneasy at the thought of being unprotected but she didn't want him to stop.
"I'm sure. I read somewhere that you can't get pregnant if it's your first time," Blaine said, with that charm and knowledge that had make Kurt swoon many times over.
"Alright," she said, still unsure. Miss Holliday had said to use a condom every time, but that was only to protect from STDs, right? And she was sure Blaine didn't have any of those. She pressed her lips firmly against his. Besides, she had read somewhere that if you take a really hot bath afterwards, it kills off any sperm. She'd just have to get in the hot tub later, that's all.
But we're in this together...
I've got to pull together...
We'll take it one step at a time...
Is this w hat I wanted?
Tell me, tell me what to do...
Somehow we'll get through..
Jason, I still love you
Someday maybe...
Love me?
Someday maybe you can learn...
Maybe you can...
Maybe I can...
Maybe you can...
Learn to love you/me too...
Maybe...please...
Rachel walked toward him, shaking more with each step. When she finally reached him, she could see that nothing she could say would change his mind. "You can't tell me that you didn't feel... something, anything."
Blaine looked around speechless. He felt as though his entire world had just stopped. He couldn't even acknowledge Rachel. He knew she was speaking and he knew she was expecting an answer. He just couldn't provide that. He couldn't provide anything. He was frozen.
"Blaine, please. Just... this is bigger than you and me now. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but... maybe... someday..."
Maybe he would love you
Maybe if he weren't that way
He wouldn't treat your feelings like his toy!
Maybe he'd make you feel real special
Like I always wanted to!
But he's already in love with a boy!
What?
Suddenly, as if from nowhere (but really from where he had been standing in front of the doors to the Lima Bean for the majority of this fight), Finn came walking up behind Rachel. "So, did you plan on ever telling anyone about this?"
"Finn," Rachel exclaimed, "yes, eventually... I just... I wanted to make sure that Blaine knew first.
"Why him? Why not me?"
"Honestly, Finn, I don't know. I really don't."
"And how could the both of you do this to Kurt?"
"Finn, really, Kurt and I weren't together when it happened and I can assure you that neither of us intended for this to happen."
"Like that makes it any better? You both knew how he felt way before anything happened."
"Finn, really, it's not..."
"No, Rachel, it is." Finn was beginning to lose his cool. His ex-girlfriend slept with his stepbrother's boyfriend. Why did she think that it was 'not' anything. It was. It ruined everything.
"Finn, listen," the girl plead, "I don't even know what I'm going to do about it yet. No one else ever has to know."
Am I late?
What's going on?
Jason, have you seen Ivy?
I guess you have
You knew?
Only since this afternoon!
Knew what?
Kurt and Mercedes were pulling into the parking lot now. Finn had texted Kurt when he heard the first strains of this argument. Kurt needed to hear this right away, and from Blaine, not from anyone else.
"What's up, Finn?" Kurt asked. Blaine," he said. "What are you doing here? And, Rachel... why are you crying? What..." Finally, he caught glimpse that the other 4 clearly knew something he didn't. "Someone please tell me what is going on."
"Kurt, listen..." Mercedes started, but stopped abruptly seeing the 'I wasn't talking to you' expression on his face. She knew when her input wasn't needed and she also knew how much he was going to need her to not be pissed off at him when everything came to light. She knew she was going to have to be the strong one.
The boy looked around at the three who had been arguing when he got there. He tapped his brown suede Marc Jacob lace up moccasins as he awaited a response.
Blaine's voice rung in Kurt's ears, "Babe, I promise you."
He could see the texts from Rachel, "Kurt, I swear nothing happened. I wouldn't do that to you."
And the text from Finn, "Kurt, come down to the Lima Bean now. It's important."
He remembered Mercedes frantic phone call in response to his text, "Uh... Kurt, I don't think you should go down there alone. I know he's your stepbrother and all but you never know what kind of hijinx he's up to. I think I should come with you."
What could they have all been up to?
They all remained silent, surveying each other, wondering who would make the first move.
Ivy's pregnant and your boyfriend's a dad!
So what does that make you?
What?
What the fuck are you talking about 'my boyfriend?'
Don't play dumb with me, Peter!
Get the fuck outta here, Matt!
After a good, solid minute of silence, Finn broke. Even though Kurt wasn't his blood brother, he was still his brother no matter what. However, that didn't make what he had to say any easier for either of them . "Look, Rachel's pregnant."
Stunned, Kurt looked around. "Seriously? Wow. You told me that it wasn't another pregnancy, Rachel."
The girl's gaze softened a bit, tired of all of the fighting and resigned to the fact that she knew that he was going to burst when the truth finally came out. She sighed, "I wasn't then."
"Well, congratulations, Finn. Is that why you needed me here? 'Cause, I've got news for you, I'm not telling Mom and Dad. That one's on you."
The group still stared pointedly at him. How could such an intelligent, aware guy be so oblivious? "Kurt, it's not Finn's." Rachel told him.
"Ohhhh, you need me to book Maury. I'd have thought that after the whole Quinn thing last year that Puck would be just as willing to take care of you as he was her."
"No, it's not Puck's either."
Not ready to accept what he suddenly knew was true, he started grasping at straws. Weakly he managed, "You didn't tell me you were seeing Jesse again..."
Rachel shook her head. Suddenly, it was concrete. He spun on his heel and devoted all of his attention to Blaine. "Why did you lie?"
Blaine stood motionless, trying to absorb everything that was going on. He didn't know what to do. This was definitely not the way that he saw himself starting a family. He had imagined a family with Kurt, kids or no kids, just... being together and in love. No matter how hard he tried, he could never have that with Rachel. She knew that, or at least she should have.
Should I tell them what I saw at the rave?
Look, I'm not here to judge, just keep everyone on the same page
And, hey, I think I found that strong opening
You were looking for in your speech
Whatever, Matt, whatever you saw, it was a rave…
Ha! Are you gonna stand there and deny it?
I know
Oh? You know? Huh? You fuckin' know? Huh? What the fuck do you know!
He knows, Jason...He knows because I told him…
It was after Ivy's birthday. We were drunk. I'm sorry...
No. You know what? I'm not.
Finn stood staring at everyone. He couldn't believe that all of this had happened so quickly. He couldn't get away from this pain. Still, at least he was sure he wasn't the father this time. Hell, Rachel had only barely let him get to second base, let alone sleep with her. He couldn't believe that Mercedes knew and didn't tell Kurt. They were supposed to be best friends. He couldn't believe that Blaine could be so stupid. Didn't he see how amazing Kurt was? "I mean, what the hell, Rachel, one minute you're all over me and the next your fucking Kurt's boyfriend?"
"What are you talking about, Finn?" Rachel knew exactly what he was talking about. She wasn't as drunk as she had seemed that night. She was just pretending as an attempt to get her way. She didn't know any other way to act drunk than that. She didn't know who she wanted anymore, but what she really wanted was for this to all be over. "I wasn't hanging all over you."
"Finn, look, this really has nothing to do with you," Blaine managed to get out.
Blaine was right, it was none of Finn's business anymore. It didn't really matter, though. "It is my business, pretty boy. You don't love her. I do. And that's what she needs right now - someone to love her and this baby."
Rachel looked at Finn, tears streaming down her face. How could he still care about her after all of this? After everything she had done to him.
Kurt stood silently, cradled by Mercedes. He felt like everything he knew was crashing down around him. His stepbrother was sympathizing with the girl who had slept with his boyfriend and was now carrying his baby. What was he going to do? Meanwhile, Mercedes felt just as lost. She was completely removed from the conversation. These were some of her closest friends and they were all in difficult positions and/or mad at each other. Still, all she could do was hold her best friend tight and play Mama Hen.
What is going on, Peter? Jason, is he kidding? Jason?
Look, let's just run the scene.
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this... Peter
Don't…
Peter, I don't know what's going on...you gotta help me!
I tried…
You know what? Then fuck you, Peter! Fuck you…
"This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know." Blaine let a single tear fall as he embraced his boyfriend. Kurt was only going back to McKinley, but it was a good 2 hour drive from Westerville. Still, they'd make it work, somehow.
"I'll never say goodbye to you," Kurt whispered as he clung tighter to the smaller boy.
He realized that it wasn't Blaine he was holding. It was still Mercedes. Where had his mind gone? This wasn't the time for flights of sentimental nonsense. Yes, he loved Blaine, but this was not going to be easy to get over, if either of them actually could get over it.
"Blaine," Rachel said, softly, "I don't know what is going to happen from here... but I want you to know that we're still going to have to talk more. This isn't over." The girl headed off around the corner.
"Rachel, wait," Finn called after her. He couldn't let her be alone. Not now, not ever. He chased off after her around the corner and out of sight.
"Kurt, I'm so sorry. I never meant to have this happen. I'm so sorry," the boy reached out his hand, touching Kurt's side. Normally this would have indicated for him to move into Blaine's arms, but neither Kurt nor Mercedes seemed like they were budging. "Look, I don't know what to say... just... remember the other night, we were watching Romeo + Juliet on tv? 'If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, then gentle sin is this.'" Blaine moved in toward Kurt. Even if Mercedes wasn't moving, he was still going to do this. He took the taller boy into his arms.
Kurt pushed Blaine away, maybe more violently than he had intended. That's not to say that he didn't deserve it, but that's not the point. He knew that he still loved Blaine but he just couldn't be around him. He hugged Mercedes again and headed for his car.
"So that's it? You're just going to leave? What happened to 'I'll never say goodbye to you?'"
"This isn't goodbye. Just so long. I need to think."
"What's there to think about?" The countertenor's car slipped into gear and away he drove, leaving Blaine screaming into the distance. "FINE! FUCK YOU THEN!" Blaine burst in to a mess of angry, hot tears.
Mercedes stood staring at the shattered remains of the dapper young man that now looked more like a scared little boy. She reached out her hand for him and pulled him in.
Jason, I don't know what to tell you. Here's one idea, I'd rule out calling Dad. I've thought it through and I confess I can't see through this mess. Maybe being single's not so bad. But you can solve this. I know you can. Don't forget that. Take my hand. Tell me what to do or what to say. Somehow we'll get through. We'll find a way.
Yeah, thanks. I know. Can you leave me alone? I don't mean to be rude... it's just... I
Sure, call me tonight or tomorrow or whenever just... call me.
Two boys lay on a couch, holding each other tightly, almost as though afraid that if they were to let go they would lose a part of themselves. This was their 3 rd Disney movie in a row – Tangled. This part always made Kurt get sentimental, talks of getting your wish and it not being everything you've hoped it would be. This was everything he had ever hoped and more. "I wish we could stay like this forever," Kurt sighed as he buried his face into the crook of Blaine's neck.
"But, babe, if we do that, you might not get out there and get your big wishes," Blaine reasoned.
"You are my biggest dream," Kurt said, nodding off again. He was never big on Disney growing up but Blaine loved them. He thought the princesses were beautiful and envied the dresses but he had always had this inkling that the princes were hiding something. There was no way they could be dressed that flawless and not want to bang each other. Still, he wouldn't tell his curly haired prince that. He'd just lay there and enjoy the closeness.
"And you are mine," Blaine responded, laughing at how his statement matched up with a nearly identical line in the movie and pulling the blanket up tighter around Kurt.
"Blaine? Blaine!" Mercedes snapped. Even though the two had gone inside for a cup of coffee, Blaine seemed to have left his conscious self out on the curb.
"Huh? What?" He suddenly settled back into reality, knowing that his memories of cozy mornings with Kurt were now further away than ever before.
"Look, I really don't know what's gonna happen from here. Rachel doesn't have the same religious convictions as Quinn. She might not even keep the baby. As for Kurt, he really loves you," Blaine closed his eyes as she spoke. He wasn't so sure of that. "Boy, listen to me. He really does. He's just angry right now. Put the shoe on the other foot. Okay? Once upon a time, I fell hard for Kurt. Yeah, me. So just imagine what would have happened if Kurt and I had fooled around and he got me pregnant?"
"Well, for one thing, Finn wouldn't have shown up with a flamethrower. That's for sure."
Mercedes rolled her eyes. "I'm not talking about Finn. I'm talking about you, Blaine. How would you feel?" She took a sip of her Medium Iced Mocha Cappuccino as the curly headed boy thought."
How would he feel? Dejected? Betrayed? Upset? Angry? Scared? Was there even a word that meant all of those things combined? "Well, forgive the loss of eloquence here, but I'd be pissed."
"Exactly. Now, I know Kurt. He'll be back, but just be gentle with him. He knows you're hurting and you're in a really vulnerable place right now, but he is too." She leaned in a little closer, "You know just as well as I do that when it comes to the two of you, he's not letting go this easily. You're in this together." She reached across the table and took the boys hand, which was still visibly trending. "And you all have me. You know that. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here to do anything you guys may need. Just let me know, love. Okay?
"Yeah, thanks. Just... uh... I think Kurt was right... I think I need to be on my own for a little bit right now. I think I'm going to take a drive." The boy stood up. "Thank you, Mercedes, for everything."
"It's cool, Blaine. Just call me if you need anything."
"Sure... I will," Blaine stammered as he walked out of the Lima Bean. Mercedes sat watching as the boy walk out into the evening light.