So Atlético Madrid are in the Champions League quarter-finals! And it’s hard to argue, based on the last couple of hours, that they don’t deserve to be there, but though they certainly looked brighter and more enterprising than Leverkusen, they created approximately naff all, got a lucky deflection to score from a poor shot, and it’s not harder to be brighter or more enterprising than a side that, like Leverkusen tonight, offers nothing more than workrate. Anyway, the main thing is it’s over. Bye!

There were some absolutely filthy penalties there. Why don’t German sides do that in World Cup semi-finals, eh?

Another shocker! Kiessling sends the ball screaming high and wide, and Leverkusen are out!

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That’s as close as you can come to missing without missing, sneaking into the right corner!

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Castro smacks the ball to his left, as the goalkeeper goes to his left, and it’s 2-2.

Koke shoots low to the left, and Leno guesses right and stops it as it arrowed into the bottom corner. Great save!

That’s hideous! Really awful! Toprak, who deflected Atlético’s goal into the net, sends his penalty over the bar!

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Suárez goes for the same corner, and finds it! Again the keeper goes the right way, but it’s too good!

That one was even better, right into the top right corner! A beauty!

And after two rubbish penalties, a perfect one, high into the top right corner. Leno goes the right way, but low, and can do nothing about it.

Calhanoglu hits a near-identical penalty to García, except to be on the safe side he keeps it on the ground. Oblak stays put, and keeps it out with ease!

García curls the ball down the middle, sending the keeper diving out of the way – but it clears the bar by about two yards!

It’ll be Atlético. And Raul García walks forward to take it …

Still waiting to find out who’s taking the first kick, statistically of immense importance.

Bernd Leno has a 37% penalty-saving success rate, the best in Europe. Atlético’s first-choice goalkeeper got injured in the first half. The stage is set.

120+2 mins: No.

120+1 mins: One more minute after that last minute. Could there be (etc …)

119 mins: One more minute. Could there be one more chance? Or, more accurately, one chance?

118 mins: Hilbert’s looping long throw is headed clear, and Turan sprints over to stop it rolling out for a corner. He’s got quite the engine, that man.

117 mins: The ball rolls to Leno, who lets it sit at his feet until Torres eventually closes him down. Leverkusen would most definitely be happy with penalties.

116 mins: Torres sends a diving header on target, from a right-wing cross, but it’s a straightforward save.

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115 mins: Arda Turan has got to be the man of the match, for at least offering an occasional flicker of inspiration. Griezmann is the only one to get anywhere near.

113 mins: Anther poor free-kick from Koke. Torres back-headers it, but it goes over. There has been one good free-kick in this match, and there have been a lot of free kicks.

112 mins: Turan finds Griezmann nicely; Griezmann nutmegs his marker even more nicely, and then he’s taken out by Papadopoulos, who is booked.

111 mins: It should have been a corner, mind.

110 mins: Fernando Torres is a bit miffed that he hasn’t won a corner, tells the referee all about it, and is booked.

109 mins: Arda Turan nicks the ball off an opponent’s toes on the left touchline, and then twists and twirls a while to keep possession. That’s a bit of alright, that is.

107 mins: A good save! Raul García tries to blast the ball past Leno at the near post, but the keeper pushes it out of play!

106 mins: We’re back under way, for the final time, Kiessling doing the honours. “Yup its just you,” insists Lilion Cooper. Oh. “As an Atleti fan the second half onwards has had my heart melting. These cynical and dirty charges are boring and outdated.”

105+2 mins: The referee’s had enough of this. Fifteen more minutes and some penalties to go, unless someone scores (obviously).

105+1 mins: Into more stoppage time we go, and the linesman celebrates by waving his flag for offside, even though Torres appeared level.

105 mins: The substitution is made, Bender limping off with a pained look on his face. I know how he feels.

103 mins: Bender is on his back, being treated for cramp. Papadopoulos is being readied on the touchline.

102 mins: Kiessling gets booked for dissent after conceding a free-kick by barging Mario Suárez.

100 mins: Juanfran crosses from the right to Griezmann, beyond the far post, who decides to bring the ball down but when he does so a defender arrives to thwack it clear.

99 mins: Atlético win, and waste, another free-kick, from the half-way line.

96 mins: Raul Garcia is on the pitch, rolling around, holding his face. Of course it looks like he’s cheating, and that’s what the referee decides, but eventually he sits up, and appears to be bleeding. In fact it looks like Kiessling flung an elbow at his cheek there.

95 mins: Leverkusen have looked more enterprising in the first five minutes of extra time than in the 45 minutes that preceded it. Kiessling has a shot from just outside the area, but a deflection takes the sting out of it, and Oblak collects.

92 mins: A foul in midfield prompts anger on both sides. The referee calls the captains together to tell them to calm everybody down.

91 mins: Peeeeep! We’re off again!

The managers have given their rousing on-pitch orations. Please let something good happen.

90+5 mins: Into extra-time we go. “Gripping stuff at the Vicente Calderon!” enthuses Sky’s commentator. Is it just me who thinks it’s been rubbish?

90+4 mins: Leverkusen win a free-kick just outside their penalty area, take an aeon over it and then hoist it forward.

90+3 mins: Meanwhile in Monaco, Arsenal win 2-0 but are out on away goals.

90+2 mins: Goal kick.

90+1 mins: Atlético win a corner. Koke over the ball. Sooner or later there must be a good one?

90+1 mins: If nobody scores in the next four minutes, we will indeed have extra time.

90 mins: Another poor cross, this time from Koke, is headed clear by the near-post defender.

89 mins: A late booking for Wendell, for a foul on Torres. The free-kick is on the right wing, just outside the penalty area.

88 mins: Gámez gets space on the left, but his cross flies straight to Leno. There have been a lot of poor balls into the box tonight, both from open play and set pieces

87 mins: The referee ignores a couple of possible fouls to allow Atlético to attack, and Turan finds Torres with a long right-to-left pass, but a defender arrives to clear into touch.

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85 mins: Leverkusen’s best attack of the half ends with Bellarabi overhitting his cross. Goal kick.

83 mins: Now Atlético do make their final substitution, and Fernando Torres replaces Mandzukic.

80 mins: Mandzukic, who has spent too long running the channels rather than leading the line, runs down the right and though his cross doesn’t reach its target, it rolls loose, Griezmann touches to Turan and suddenly space opens up in front of him, just inside the penalty area, but his shot is weak and easily saved.

79 mins: Nearly a chance for Atlético, only for someone – Rolfes, it seems – to get in between the ball and Griezmann, six yards out.

78 mins: The referee’s back in his pocket, waving his yellow card at Calhanoglu, who took out Gámez.