Mom-of-five who only discovered her husband was having an affair when he was shot dead by his lover's spouse meets his mistress for the first time

  • Ashlee Birk was 28 with five young children when husband was shot dead
  • She discovered he had been murdered by secret lover's vengeful spouse
  • Until then, devoted mother had no idea her husband was cheating on her 
  • Now, Ashlee has sat down with Kandi Hall, her husband's mistress
  • 'I'm not here for you to fix me - I've done that by myself,' Ashlee says
  • Ashlee has had a long-standing restraining order against Kandi
  • Kandi's husband, Rob Hall, is serving 30 years prison for murder 

A mother-of-five whose husband was shot dead by his lover's spouse has for the first time come face-to-face with the woman who tore her life apart.

Ashlee Birk was 28 when her husband and the father of her children, Emmett Corrigan, was shot dead by his secret lover's vengeful husband in 2011 at a Walgreens parking lot.

The shooter, Rob Hall, was the husband of Kandi Hall, who Corrigan was having an affair with.

Now, as Hall is serving 30 years in prison for the murder, the two have sat down with each other for the first time in an explosive confrontation on Dr Phil

Scroll down for video 

Face-off: Ashlee Birk (left) sits down to talk for the first time with Kandi Hall (right), who her husband was having a longstanding affair with when he was shot dead by Kandi's husband, Rob Hall, in 2011 

Face-off: Ashlee Birk (left) sits down to talk for the first time with Kandi Hall (right), who her husband was having a longstanding affair with when he was shot dead by Kandi's husband, Rob Hall, in 2011 

Confrontation: The two women both give their sides of the story, and the man they shared, during the sit-down on Dr Phil, which airs in full on Thursday

'Im not here for you to fix me, because I've done that all by myself': An emotional Ashlee Birk confronts her husband's mistress for the first time in a tense interview

'Im not here for you to fix me, because I've done that all by myself': An emotional Ashlee Birk confronts her husband's mistress for the first time in a tense interview

In an awkward moment as the pair first sit down, Kandi starts things off by saying to Ashlee: 'What do you want to hear? Do you want me to say sorry? I am absolutely sorry. I have been sorry since day one.'

Ashlee, who married Corrigan on March 6, 2004, was pregnant with the couple's fifth child, Tytus, when her husband began having an affair with Kandi Hall, a paralegal at his law firm.

She did not know about the affair until the early hours of March 12, 2011, when police turned up at her home in Meridian, Idaho, and said her spouse had been killed over the liaison.

The officers explained how Rob Hall had stormed out of his house earlier that night armed with a gun after discovering his wife had been having an affair with Corrigan.

Hall then drove to a nearby Walgreens, before fatally shooting Mr Corrigan in the head and heart.

But Ashlee has since remarried, and lowered a long-standing restraining order she had against Kandi in order to appear on Dr Phil with her, in an episode that will air in-full Thursday.

Through tears Ashlee said: 'I'm not here to have you say sorry. I'm here for hopefully you to understand what it's been like for me.

'You had this power over me because you hurt me so bad. And I was waiting and waiting for you to come and fix me.

And I guess today I'm not here for you to fix me, because I've done that all by myself.  

'I just want you to know that I’m still standing.

'You might have made me fall by some of your choices, but you didn’t break me.' 

Secret relationship: Ashlee Birk,  was left widowed aged 28 with five children when her then-husband, Emmett Corrigan, was brutally murdered in March 2011. Above, Mrs Birk and Mr Corrigan with four of their children

Secret relationship: Ashlee Birk, was left widowed aged 28 with five children when her then-husband, Emmett Corrigan, was brutally murdered in March 2011. Above, Mrs Birk and Mr Corrigan with four of their children

Affair: Mrs Birk's grief was worsened when she discovered her spouse had been having an affair with his co-worker, Kandi Hall (left).  Mr Corrigan had been shot to death by Ms Hall's husband, Rob Hall (right)

Affair: Mrs Birk's grief was worsened when she discovered her spouse had been having an affair with his co-worker, Kandi Hall (left). Mr Corrigan had been shot to death by Ms Hall's husband, Rob Hall (right)

Ashlee has previously detailed her journey from grief to forgiveness and, finally, happiness on a blog, which she began writing last year to give her children 'strength'.

On it, she describes how she tried to hide from Mr Corrigan's affair for years after his death - but eventually decided to tell her story to help others heal and potentially save another person's life.

She writes: 'I have come to find out that not every one who dreams of a simple life will be granted it as such. I am a 'victim' of murder. I am a victim of infidelity. I am not alone in this sentence.

'I have had the privilege of raising my children and helping five other little 'victims' find faith in a world that left them with none. This is how we found light in a place that went dark all around us.

'I hope that our story and the lessons we have learned can bring peace to at least one other struggling to find answers in their lives, and in turn help us find the peace that we continually seek.'

Watch the full episode here.  

Happier times: Mrs Birk is seen here in hospital with Mr Corrigan and their twin daughters 10 years ago

Happier times: Mrs Birk is seen here in hospital with Mr Corrigan and their twin daughters 10 years ago

Father: Ashlee has previously said she tried to hide from Mr Corrigan's affair for years after his death - but eventually decided to tell her story to help others heal. Above, Mr Corrigan with two of the couple's children

Father: Ashlee has previously said she tried to hide from Mr Corrigan's affair for years after his death - but eventually decided to tell her story to help others heal. Above, Mr Corrigan with two of the couple's children

Murder: Mrs Birk did not know about the affair until the early hours of March 12, 2011, when police turned up at her home in Meridian, Idaho, and told her that her spouse had been killed  over the liaison. Above, Mrs Birk posted this photo of the Walgreens store where her husband was murdered on her Facebook page last year 

Murder: Mrs Birk did not know about the affair until the early hours of March 12, 2011, when police turned up at her home in Meridian, Idaho, and told her that her spouse had been killed over the liaison. Above, Mrs Birk posted this photo of the Walgreens store where her husband was murdered on her Facebook page last year 

I have come to find out that not every one who dreams of a simple life will be granted it as such. I am a 'victim' of murder. I am a victim of infidelity
Ashlee Birk 

In the days, weeks and months after her husband's death, Mrs Birk says she was 'tortured' by the details of the fateful night, during which Mr Corrigan had driven to the Walgreens with Mrs Hall.

On her blog, she wrote: 'This torture was a slow motion detailed description of not only the horrible choices my husband was making, but the details of how two bullets sunk into his heart and skull.

'Slow motion details of how Rob circled around inside of Walgreens looking for him. 

'Slow motion details of how he waited in that truck for seven minutes for Emmett and Kandi to return. 

Unaware: Mrs Birk told NBC's Dateline (pictured) that she had no idea her husband was involved with Ms Hall. 'The way [Mr Corrigan] described her was an older woman who he looked up to in a motherly way,' she said

Unaware: Mrs Birk told NBC's Dateline (pictured) that she had no idea her husband was involved with Ms Hall. 'The way [Mr Corrigan] described her was an older woman who he looked up to in a motherly way,' she said

Broken vows: Despite Mrs Birk's suffering in the wake of her husband's murder and infidelity, she says she felt a need to 'forgive'. Above, the couple are pictured together before Mr Corrigan started having an affair

Broken vows: Despite Mrs Birk's suffering in the wake of her husband's murder and infidelity, she says she felt a need to 'forgive'. Above, the couple are pictured together before Mr Corrigan started having an affair

'Slow motion details of Emmett taking his last breathe (sic). Slow motion details of every emergency person who walked onto the scene, and every detective that investigated that night.'

She describes how she experienced all sorts of feelings - from fear of walking into a grocery store and anger at Mr Corrigan's infidelity to a desire to do nothing but 'lie in bed in the fetal position'.

She also tried to hide from her husband's betrayal - something she had particularly shocked about considering she was pregnant at the time and Mrs Hall was older than her at nearly 40 years old.

Devoted mother: With the help of her religion, Mrs Birk (pictured kissing one of her sons) eventually managed to forgive her adulterous husband

Devoted mother: With the help of her religion, Mrs Birk (pictured kissing one of her sons) eventually managed to forgive her adulterous husband

'The way [Mr Corrigan] described her was an older woman who he looked up to in a motherly way,' she told NBC's Dateline.

'He said, "She just believes in me". She was nearly 40 and I was 28.' 

Speaking to KTVB, she added: 'It's humiliating, who wants to be the wife who wasn't enough, and to admit that you've gone through years of almost hating yourself for something other people did.' 

And Mrs Birk's emotions only heightened when Hall's murder trial began.

'I remember a day at the murder trial when I had become so numb it felt I was no longer hearing about Emmett,' writes Mrs Birk, who met Mr Corrigan at Utah State University.

'I felt like I was genuinely learning about facts from a movie. The new details to add to my remembrance of the past were like an open flame to the fears that burned in my heart.'

But despite Mrs Birk's suffering in the wake of her husband's murder and infidelity, she says she felt a need to 'forgive'. 

To achieve this incredible challenge, she found herself turning to God.

'I began to see that for me, forgiveness and hope were not an uphill climb - but a mountainous obstacle. And some days I did not win,' she writes on the blog.

'Some moments I hit valleys; others I saw stars. Some moments I could see myself - and others all I could see was defeat. The hard thing about glimmers of hope is the moment when they fade away.'

However, with the help of her religion, Mrs Birk eventually managed to forgive her husband - and has even empathized with other people who may feel the urge to cheat on their partners. 

A new life: Mrs Birk now lives in Meridan with her new husband, Shawn, who was her first official date after Mr Corrigan's passing. They are joined by her five children and Mr Birk's adopted daughter (all pictured above)

A new life: Mrs Birk now lives in Meridan with her new husband, Shawn, who was her first official date after Mr Corrigan's passing. They are joined by her five children and Mr Birk's adopted daughter (all pictured above)

'Just because an unhealthy enticement comes to your mind... that doesn’t make you a bad person. It is what you do with your thoughts that will determine what road you will take,' she says on her blog. 

Amazingly, she has even written several empathetic letters to Ms Hall - although, these have never been sent - and sought to forgive her husband's killer, who 'must have been hurting too'.

Mrs Birk now lives in Meridan with her husband, Shawn, who was her first official date after Mr Corrigan's passing. They are joined by her five children and Mr Birk's adopted daughter.

Speaking to Fox News, Mrs Birk, now 32, said of her ongoing blog: 'I've discovered that just like the Savior’s pain brings hope, my own pain can bring hope.'

In love: Mrs Birk has also detailed her journey of murder, betrayal and forgiveness in a book, 'Silence Breaks', published last year. Above, she is pictured with Shawn in a Facebook photo

In love: Mrs Birk has also detailed her journey of murder, betrayal and forgiveness in a book, 'Silence Breaks', published last year. Above, she is pictured with Shawn in a Facebook photo

Indeed, the blog has undoubtedly touched many, with nearly five million views to date. In her latest post, last Wednesday, Mrs Birk urges others to see 'the little glimmers of hope' in life.

'Maybe it is an unexpected friend who wipes your tears when a picture of the past flashes in your face and tries to slap you off the track of hope you have been clinging to,' she writes.

Mrs Birk has also detailed her journey of murder, betrayal and forgiveness in a book, 'Silence Breaks', published last year. The book is available online only and on-request at the local library.

And the devoted mother continues to inspire others by making speeches across the US.

The comments below have not been moderated.

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

We are no longer accepting comments on this article.