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PseudoPod 970: At the God Show


At the God Show

by Shaenon K. Garrity


6:15 A.M.

“It’ll be Pternoch the Fisher,” Sheila overheard one pilgrim say to another. “Why did we bother coming?”

“May the Green Damsel stitch your mouth shut until your blasphemies cease,” said the other. “We come to honor Her and reveal Her glory.” There was a silence as the two filled out their name tags, then, “Where’d you hear that from?”

“Everyone’s saying it. It always goes to the Sanguine group, and this year Pternoch is the Sanguine with the buzz.”

“It wasn’t a Sanguine last year. It was an Amoratus.”

“And look how that turned out. The judges will play it safe. It’s all politics.”

His companion snorted—whether in disbelief or reluctant agreement, Sheila couldn’t tell.

“I’m telling you. The fix is in.” (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 969: Spunk


Spunk

by Zora Neale Hurston


I

A giant of a brown-skinned man sauntered up the one street of the Village and out into the palmetto thickets with a small pretty woman clinging lovingly to his arm.

“Looka theah, folkses!” cried Elijah Mosley, slapping his leg gleefully. “Theah they go, big as life an’ brassy as tacks.”

All the loungers in the store tried to walk to the door with an air of nonchalance but with small success.

“Now pee-eople!” Walter Thomas gasped. “Will you look at ’em!”

“But that’s one thing Ah likes about Spunk Banks—he ain’t skeered of nothin‘ on God’s green footstool—nothin’! He rides that log down at saw-mill jus‘ like he struts ’round wid another man’s wife—jus‘ don’t give a kitty. When Tes’ Miller got cut to giblets on that circle-saw, Spunk steps right up and starts ridin’. The rest of us was skeered to go near it.”

A round-shouldered figure in overalls much too large, came nervously in the door and the talking ceased. The men looked at each other and winked. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 968: The Vibrations, Louder


The Vibrations, Louder

By A. A. Rubin


Insanity? Sure, why not. My lawyer advised me to plead insanity, and maybe it will help me. At least I’ll be able to talk to somebody qualified. The state of mental health care is deplorable in this country. My insurance certainly doesn’t cover it, and I couldn’t afford to pay a therapist, even one as borderline incompetent as one appointed by the state. Besides, there is a lengthy prison sentence awaiting me if I don’t plead that way. So, insanity then, officially. Though I tell you truly, I did what I did, and not withstanding my plea, listen to how calmly and rationally I tell my tale. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 967: Two’s Company, Three Might Be A Sign of Demonic Possession


Two’s Company, Three Might Be a Sign of Demonic Possession

by Audrey Zhou


You didn’t take the usual precautions when Lin died.

You would find out later how it happened—slippery tile floor, the trials of installing a new shower curtain rod, and the surprisingly fragile vertebrae going up Lin’s neck—but in the moment all you knew was that there was a crash. When Lin didn’t respond after you called her name from the kitchen, you had enough wherewithal to grab the salt before stumbling to the bathroom, but not enough to keep from spilling a third of it all over yourself when you saw her body.

There was no pulse—your face twisted at the angle of her neck and all the blood, and you knew there couldn’t be—but you checked anyway. Then you took a deep breath and ignored every lesson you’d ever learned about how to conduct a proper resurrection. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 966: Fat Betty

Show Notes

From the author: “The story is meant to be set in a slightly dystopian near-future.”


Fat Betty 

Listed Monuments 

The Watchers 

Ghost Stories 

The Woman in Black 


Fat Betty

By H R Laurence


They say it’s God’s own country, and He’s always had a thing for rain. I’m high and soaked, looking over the valley with a sea of heather at my back, and if the storm lasts forty nights I’ll not be shocked. There’s still a little light over the hills to the east, but it’s cloud-clogged overhead and the sunlight can’t get through to where I’m huddled in anorak and hugging my carbine, praying for that bastard Jamie Cornfeld to make his way quick.

“You miserable sod,” I tell him, when he comes up in his hood and coat with a rifle on his shoulder and a stick in his hand. “To meet up here.” I might have walked down the street with gun in hands and not met an odd glance, let alone a copper.

“Do you good,” he says, and he’s right although I’ll not say it. “I guess that works, and all.” He’s looking at the carbine. Of course it works. Two tours and more Syrian sand than any crusader saw, it works all-bloody-right. One of them police half-tracks still has the holes.

“Alright, then,” he says, this being made clear, and we walk. It’s that steady rain, not too heavy but sure to last all night, and the heather’s wet, its springiness turned soggy. We scare some grouse and they go shooting off; I’d take a pot at them if we didn’t need to keep quiet. Good eating on those birds, though I bet they were fatter when they were bred for it.

“Let’s not fuss about this,” I say. We’ve been walking five minutes, but it’s been on my mind all day. “If there’s trouble, we should shoot them.” (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 965: The Ecstasy of the Saints

Show Notes

From the author: I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school through the seventh grade. That meant I spent three days a week in church, plus Sunday mass with my family. I spent a lot of time staring at the ornate religious icons in the church, marveling at the lurid colors and details, worried I was a horrible sinner when I found them almost grotesque. This story springs from that time for me, how my mind would wander into those dreaded impure thoughts and  my terror that my ever-accumulating sins left me open to demon possession. It’s the boredom of ceremony, the struggle to come up with believable sins as a distraction from my real worries in Confession, and the constant guilt and fear I felt as a child for having what I now know are normal kid thoughts. Writing this story was very cathartic and fun, even if the good old Catholic guilt crept back in as I was writing.


It’s a Sin by Pet Shop Boys

Changes by David Bowie

The Breakfast Club


The Ecstasy of the Saints

by J.A.W. McCarthy


I’m six the first time it happens. I’m sitting in the backseat of the family sedan, staring at the rearview mirror so I can see when my father’s big eye peels upward and focuses on me, steely grey and always watching, as he promised when I started doing this. Mom faces straight ahead, shoulders curled forward as if folding herself around the cold jets blasting from the AC. They’re busy talking about traffic or what Grandma will make for dinner or how we’ll have to atone for missing confession this weekend—it’s all the same to me. It means I can slip my pinkie into my mouth, hooking towards my cheek until I feel the silky swollen hole between my tongue and molar. As I nudge into the opening, I think of my cat flexing her paw, how her claws extend smooth and quick as switchblades as her toes curl into her palm. I’m a claw, I’m a dagger. I’m dangerous, I do harm. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 964: The Darkness Carried by the Beasts

Show Notes

From the author: This story came to me, at first, with the image of a man and his dog in the woods, somewhere in northern Sweden where I grew up, confronted by a shadowy creature in a snowstorm. The other inspiration, of course, was Chernobyl. I’m old enough that I was around when that catastrophe happened, and I remember how much fear there was in Sweden with people wondering about the effects of the radioactive dust that spread from the nuclear site. That sense of an invisible poison literally falling from the sky. This might be the most Swedish story I’ve written since “Hare’s Breath”.


Cast of Wonders: Hare’s Breath

Where the Wind Blows:

Nuclear war preparation advert from the 1980s 

Fast Cars, by U2


The Darkness Carried by the Beasts

by Maria Haskins


Northern Sweden, March 1987, eleven months after Chernobyl

Torsten is dreaming of Gunvor, like he does every night. All these dreams are the same. He is searching for her in the woods, Ricky running ahead on eager paws with his nose to the ground, the elkhound a gray blur in untouched snow. Torsten’s chest aches and the air is hard to breathe, tainted by some unseen poison. A colorless void stretches out above the treetops, a menacing sky that holds no stars, but no matter how Torsten runs, no matter how he searches, he can never find Gunvor. Even there, even in his dreams, she is gone. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 963: Mavka


Mavka

By A.D. Sui


You pray to forget this. You pray to forget the cold. Even under two wool blankets you’re always cold now. Skin and bones, you. A February moon hangs high in the starless sky when Andriy slips on the boots, soaked through from when you wore them earlier that day to gather firewood, and from when Ira goes to relieve herself at the outhouse earlier than that.

“Where are you going, child?” your mother says, barely whispers.

“To get water,” Andriy says and shuts the hut door.

You curl into yourself, clutch your swollen, so sunken that it swells, stomach. Only in sleep does the burn of hunger disappear. Every night, you dream of bread. All you do is dream of bread. The cellar’s been empty for months. What you can, you hide, but the Bolsheviks, they’re good at looking. Others hide food too, canned turnips and rotten potatoes, but the Bolsheviks they find those, and they find the ones that did the hiding, and then both food and people go missing. Now the dog’s gone and then the cat runs off, sensing its own fate looming. Even the domovyki, the watchful spirits of your home, vanished overnight when milk and bread was no longer left out for them. You watched a long line of them march out into the woods at daybreak, short heads bobbing in the snow. Nothing in the village now to spare it from being hollowed out. First, it’s the people that grow hollow. Then, there won’t be a single memory of their death, of their life, of the man-made famine that was their punishment for daring to exist. (Continue Reading…)