Work Text:
Something to Talk About
Kono leaned against her office doorway and watched with a smirk as Steve and Danny stood at the tech table discussing some aspect of their latest case. As usual, the two men were standing side-by-side, almost leaning against each other, their hands occasionally brushing together as they pointed at something on the table.
She shook her head as the two of them looked up at each other and laughed just a little too long at some shared comment. Jesus, she could feel the sexual tension from here.
“Why don’t you two get a room and get it over with?” she teased with an evil grin.
Both men looked up at her, then at each other, then back at her, their faces creased in confusion.
“What are you talking about?” asked Steve, genuinely baffled.
“The two of you…” Kono stared at their confused faces for a moment. She rolled her eyes and flapped both hands at them in a very Danny-like fashion. “Look at the way you’re standing.”
The two men once again looked at each other, then down at their bodies, then back up at the young officer.
“What’s wrong with the way we’re standing?” inquired Danny his eyebrows drawn together.
“Well you…don’t you…?” Kono threw her hands in the air and made a disgusted noise. “Well, Jesus, if you can’t see it I’m not going to explain it to you!” She turned on her heel and marched back to her office flinging the door shut behind her. Unfortunately the door had a hydraulic closing system and wouldn’t slam in a satisfying way.
The partners looked at each other again and shrugged.
“What’s her problem?” asked Steve feeling a bit put out.
“Some sort of woman thing?” suggested Danny.
“Why do people always think there’s something going on between us?” Steve sighed rubbing a hand down his face tiredly.
“I have no idea,” replied Danny leaning on the table. “We’re best friends and partners. We spend time together and…I don’t know…maybe we stand close together but…you know…all guys do that.”
“Exactly!” cried Steve happily as if Danny had just explained the mysteries of the universe. “There’s nothing gay about it.”
“Definitely not,” Danny agreed with a firm shake of the head. The two men looked at each other, their eyes locked together perhaps a bit longer than might be considered normal. Steve seemed to snap out of it first and glanced away clearing his throat nervously.
Danny did the same thing and stood up smoothing his hair with both hands.
“So um…” the detective began, “want to go interview Stanton now?”
“Yup!” the SEAL replied a bit too heartily. “Let’s go.”
**********
The drive to Stanton’s office had been quiet for the first 10 minutes until Danny began snickering and shaking his head.
Steve glanced over at him from the driver’s side and grinned.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking…” Danny put up one finger to stop Steve’s undoubtedly smart-mouthed retort, “shut up. Anyway, I was just thinking how funny it would be if we actually started to pretend we’re together. We could have a hell of a lot of fun tricking people.”
Steve glanced over at his partner then back at the road.
“What do you mean? Like pretend we’re a couple?”
Danny nodded vigorously and shifted slightly in his seat to look over at his friend.
“Yeah, exactly. We could really pour it on, you know get caught hugging or holdings hands or…well, just really playing it up.”
Steve smiled as he considered the idea.
“But we wouldn’t do it in front of everyone, right? Just in front of the team?”
“Yeah, yeah,” responded Danny excitedly, “mainly in front of Kono. She thinks she’s so brilliant and has us figured out. It would be funny to string her along for a week or so and then tell her the truth.”
Steve snorted appreciatively.
“I have to admit I’d love to pull one over on that woman. She always thinks she’s got this woman’s intuition or gaydar or some shit like that. It would be fun to get it through her head once and for all that we’re just buddies nothing more to it than that.”
Danny’s smile faltered slightly and he blinked a few times before turning up the wattage on his smile again.
“It would be the con of a lifetime, man!”
The Commander looked over at his partner for a long moment before nodding his head.
“Let’s do it!”
**********
Kono walked into Five-0 headquarters after lunch feeling light as air and right with the world. She’d used her lunch break to catch a few waves and now she was smiling and feeling damned good. She glanced over at Chin’s office to find it empty. He’d probably gone home for some afternoon delight with Malia. God, newlyweds were annoying.
The young officer heard what sounded like a moan coming from Steve’s office. His door was closed as were the blinds, but one of them hadn’t been closed properly and she could see a small gap between it and the window. She didn’t want to pry but maybe Steve was in there sick or hurt.
Kono bent down and looked through the gap. Her eyes went wide and she had to slap her hand over her mouth to stop herself from squealing with delight. Danny and Steve were sitting on the couch, their arms wrapped around each other, and their hands slowly gliding up and down each other’s backs. Danny had one leg thrown over Steve’s.
The young officer stood up straight and all but skipped back to her office giggling like a teenager.
**********
“Is she gone?” Steve whispered, burying his face in his best friend’s neck. Why did Danny smell so damned good?
Danny opened his eyes and glanced over at the window. He considered lying for a moment. This was nice…so nice.
“Yeah,” he grunted his voice a bit rough. “She’s gone.”
The two men slowly pulled away from each other and smoothed their clothes down nervously. Neither met the other’s eyes.
“I hope she got a good eye-full,” said Steve smiling weakly.
“Oh, I’m sure she did. That nosiness is what makes her such a good cop.”
The two looked over at each other again then looked away quickly.
“Well…I better get back to work,” Danny said quickly climbing to his feet and walking to the door.
“Yeah, me too. Part two tomorrow?”
The detective looked back and grinned at his partner.
“It’s a date!” Danny’s face fell and he blushed as he realized what he’d just said. He hastily turned the door handle and wrenched the door open. “I um…I’ll talk to you later.”
Steve watched the blond detective all but run from his office. The SEAL closed his eyes briefly and smiled softly. Danny had a really great body, all muscles and warm skin. He wished he could see more of it…
“Holy fuck!” the SEAL growled mentally slapping himself. This was a joke they were playing on Kono. Nothing more! He needed to pull himself together!
**********
“I’m telling you, cuz, they were in Steve’s office wrapped around each other!” Kono whispered as she and Chin stood next to the coffee machine on the far side of the bullpen.
“They were just going at it for god and the world to see?” Chin asked doubtfully.
“No, no the door was closed and so were the blinds.”
The older detective cocked his head at his young cousin.
“Then how did you see them?”
“One blind wasn’t closed all the way so…”
“So you pulled a peeping tom move. I could arrest you for that, Kono.”
The young officer thunked her coffee cup down on the table irritably.
“No, you don’t get it. I heard a moan coming from Steve’s office so I thought maybe he was hurt or something. I just peeked in to make sure he was alright, and I saw them together.”
Chin took a contemplative sip of his coffee. Kono sometimes found him annoyingly calm.
“Well…there could be lots of explanations for what they were doing, but ultimately it’s none of our business. If they’re together I’m sure they’ll tell us as some point.”
Kono shook her head at her cousin in a moment of exasperation and disbelief.
“Are you kidding? How did you ever become a detective? I need to find out for sure.” She lifted a warning finger and shook it in his face. “They think they can keep secrets from me, but they’re wrong. So very wrong.”
**********
Kono pushed open the door to the supply room and flicked on the lights. She jumped as Steve and Danny, both with their shirts hanging open, leapt back away from each other.
“Oh, Kono…hi!” croaked Steve roughly. “Danny and I were just looking for…”
“Supplies!” Danny shouted nervously.
Steve nodded rapidly.
“Yes. Supplies. And the lights…they went out for some reason and we…bumped into each other.”
Danny nodded just as quickly.
“You’ve gotta get the electrical checked in here, Steven,” he blurted as he hurriedly buttoned up his shirt. “That’s dangerous. Someone could be in here and…you know…the lights would go out and they could…trip? Or something?”
Steve pulled his open shirt tightly around his body and nodded.
“Yes, you’re right, Danny. I’ll go make that call right now.”
The two men rushed to the door but stopped as Kono stood barring it, obviously in no hurry to move out of the way. The young officer stared knowingly at them for a long moment shifting her eyes first to Steve then to Danny. Finally she smiled brightly and slowly stepped aside and opened the door for them. They hurried out followed by her evil laugh.
Danny and Steve rushed down the hallway and turned the corner into the bullpen away from Kono’s line of sight. They stopped and grinned at each other. Steve lifted a hand palm out and Danny high-fived him.
**********
“You’re together, admit it!” snapped Kono standing in Steve’s office, her hands balled into fists on her hips, one foot tapping angrily on the floor.
The two men were sitting side-by-side on the couch in Steve’s office and she loomed over them as they stared up at her
Steve shook his head his face a picture of innocence.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Kono. Danny and I are just good friends.”
Danny nodded and smiled sweetly.
Kono narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips together in frustration.
“I really don’t know why you think you can keep this from me,” she hissed. “You know that when it comes to this stuff I’m smarter than both of you.”
Danny shrugged calmly.
“You really have a vivid imagination, Kono. You’re seeing things no one else can see.”
Steve shook his head sadly at the truth of his partner’s words.
“Maybe you need to talk to someone about that. I can set it up.”
“Grrr,” Kono growled through her teeth as she dropped her fists to her thighs in indignation.
“I haven’t given up yet.” She pointed at each man in turn. “Someday I’ll catch you with my camera and then I’ll be able to prove it to everyone!” the young officer turned abruptly and stormed out of her boss’s office muttering about the hoplessness of trying to fool a Kalakaua.
The two partners chuckled.
“Are we being cruel?” asked Steve grinning over at his friend.
“Absolutely!” agreed Danny, laughing happily.
It was a good look on him. Steve thought. He liked seeing Danny laugh.
“So what’s next?” inquired the SEAL as he put his arm across the back of the couch behind Danny, “is she going to have to catch us in bed together?”
The blond man’s breath stuttered for a moment and he had to swallow heavily. He dropped his eyes to his lap.
“Ah…no,” he replied, chuckling nervously. “I don’t think so…that’s…that’s definitely plan B.”
Steve chewed on his bottom lip for a moment as he watched his friend blush. Why was Danny blushing?
“Well, you know me,” Steve spoke, his voice pitched a bit lower than he intended. “I’ll do whatever’s necessary to make a plan work.”
Danny looked up at him in shock then seeing Steve smile, Danny let out an almost hysterical laugh of relief.
“Right! Isn’t that the SEAL motto?”
The detective all but catapulted off the couch and hurried to the open door.
“We’ll firm up…er…make a new plan later, ok?”
Steve nodded as Danny turned and walked quickly out of his office.
**********
“Oh shit, here she comes!” Danny ran into Steve’s office and the SEAL jumped to his feet anxiously.
“I thought she had an appointment! We haven’t talked about what we’re going to do.”
The detective slid to a stop in front of his partner.
“Wha- just…we can hug again.”
“We did that two days ago!” hissed Steve as he heard Kono’s high heels tapping down the hallway towards the main doors.
“Well…I don’t know, maybe I could sit on your lap or something!”
“What?” cried Steve glancing nervously over Danny’s shoulder as Kono appeared behind the glass doors to the Five-0 offices and began pushing them open.
“Well then just…”
Whatever Danny was going to say was lost as Steve grabbed the lapels of the detective’s shirt in his fist and pulled the smaller man against him crashing their mouths together.
The kiss was awkward and a bit painful as their teeth cracked together, but Steve soon let up the pressure as Danny seemed to sink against him. The SEAL still held Danny’s shirt but his free hand – of its own accord seemingly – snaked around his partner’s body as his fingertips buried themselves just under the waistband of his partner’s pants.
Danny moaned slightly and lifted his arms until they were wrapped around Steve’s neck. The Commander felt Danny licking at his lips and he opened them to allow Danny’s tongue to begin probing deep inside his mouth. Steve release his grip from Danny’s shirt and lifted his hand to bury it in his partner’s hair as he bent down to pull the smaller man more tightly against him.
Finally the two men broke apart, both panting and hard with mutual need. Danny stared up at his partner, his eyes wide and his lips wet and swollen. His tongue darted from his mouth and he licked his lips as if searching for any residual taste of Steve.
The SEAL swallowed thickly and bit his bottom lip. He couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from Danny’s full lips.
“Did she…?” Danny whispered hoarsely.
“I don’t know,”
“Are you…?”
Steve nodded as he worked to slow his breathing.
“Yeah. You?”
The blond man smiled.
“Oh yeah.”
“Maybe we should…”
Steve began but let his words fall away.
“What will we tell the others?”
Steve smirked.
“To be honest, I don’t care. Let’s go.”
Danny grinned and followed his partner out of his office. He glanced over at Kono’s office and saw the young woman laughing gleefully as she appeared to scroll through pictures on her phone.
“I think she did,” murmured Danny turning back to see Steve’s reaction.
The SEAL shrugged as he continued walking.
“Guess she was right after all.”
Danny sighed as Steve held the door open for him.
“We’re never going to live this down you know.”
As they headed towards the staircase, Steve slipped a hand into Danny’s.
“I know.”
**********
Kono entered her office early the next morning feeling bleary-eyed and a bit headachy. She knew she should have left the bar before midnight, but her friends insisted she stay and do shots. Because of Five-0’s schedule she didn’t get to see her friends very often and she didn’t want them to think she was getting old.
The young officer stumbled slightly as she came to an abrupt stop just inside the doorway of her office.
“What the hell?” she whispered as she gazed at the two huge bouquets of flowers and two boxes of candy on her desk.
There was no card.